xsunshinex00

That’s exactly what I was going to say. At this point there’s nothing else to do

Oh yeah for sure. I’ve been considering celibacy for a few months now, but I think that’s the smartest move to make. I prefer having sex in a committed relationship regardless so that’s off the table since my heads back on straight. Thank you.

That’s 100% true. I won’t give an ultimatum but I need to have a real conversation with him and make a decision based off his responses. Regardless of what happens I’ll be fine, but I need to know for my own sanity. Thank you.

Thank you to everyone for the responses, truly. Being younger a lot of my friends who I talk to about this tell me to keep trying or lifting my hopes up about this situation so I just wanted a different perspective. I gave him a lot of leeway due to the fact that I always mentioned myself to him that I’m not ready to date. My living situation isn’t ideal, my finances/career arnt the best, and I wanted to focus on growing myself into the women I want to be as I’m going through that weird early 20’s transitional phase. He’s an athlete and is team captain plus his major is super intense so I thought him even spending time with me/putting in effort was a good sign but he could literally do that with anyone. Regardless of that I know that if I was ready I would of wanted to be with him, and apparently he doesn’t know and that should be enough for me to know I need to step back & speak up for myself before it gets worse.

I wish I knew how to use this site better & thank everyone for the responses but thank you, I really appreciate it. I’ve been giving him excuses because I’m all fairness I don’t feel ready for a relationship myself. I’d like to focus on growing in my career and also work on myself because my last relationship was extremely toxic, but I still KNOW I’d want to be in a relationship with him if I was ready. He explained to me that after he broke up with his ex girlfriend he genuinely doesn’t want to date anyone for a while while he focuses on his school work and sports & I’ve heard him explain that to even his friends/family so my mind keeps trying to validate that to myself. He did ask me how his response made me feel after & why I never told him that I was feeling this way sooner and my communication went down the drain and I said I was fine and let the convo move on when I should of expressed that concern. The fact that he doesn’t know what he wants yet should probably be alarming. But unfortunately I guess he just knows the right things to say. He’s talked about moving to my city in the future so I just assumed at some point things would change but at the end of the day my well being comes first. I know if he found someone else and moved on I’d be sad, and that’s the issue. I can’t allow myself to go through that. Regardless I probably bit off more than I could chew & maybe I’ll just explain exactly how I feel and go no contact. It sucks because we’ve always been friends first so I’m close with him, but this situation is too much.

Thank you so much for responding! Currently I’m finished with school and I plan on staying on my city for a while. He still has about a year left, and he’s talked about possibly moving down here. He’s looked at apartment prices & mentioned he likes it over here multiple times but it’s never been something we’ve settled on, it’s usually just kind of mentioned in conversation so I never know if he’s 100% serious. At the same time though he has expressed interest in other places as well but more so my area. I feel like a lot more things are kind of up in the air so it causes a lot of confusion.

Hello everyone! I apologize for how long this is but I’m just looking for some advice on what to do in a situationship & maybe how to move forward. Unfortunately I think I’ve bit off more than I can chew and I’m confused if maybe I should just take the L or keep going. I was friends with this guy in highschool for awhile, we dated but broke up due to me graduating & moving away. We deeply cared for each other & he’s always been special to me & I’d consider him my first love/best friend. He’s seen me at my lowest & has never judged me. After moving away we stayed friends but ofc moved on and dated other people until about last year when there was a shift. I was honest that I still liked him but wasn’t ready for a relationship as I got out of a long term relationship about 6 months prior. He admitted the same but he got out of one like a month before so he was focused on school which I understood. Since then we’ve been in a weird LDR where we FaceTimed everyday and saw each other occasionally (he would drive down) Here’s where things get a lil… confusing. Around October he opened up saying that he LOVES me & he’s never clicked this way with anyone. He mentioned wanting to introduce me to his mom (which he did) so most of his family knows me and speaks to me and even says they love me. His dad told me personally he knows his son cares about me etc. He’s introduced me to his friends as well & includes me in there convos. I just visited him for a few days and we had a convo about if it would be awkward between us if one of us started dating someone else. I said yeah kinda, and he said it wouldn’t really be for him but he’s not necessarily an awkward person. We’d just have to change our relationship. I didn’t know how to feel & he could see that in my face & and asked me what’s up. I figured I’d ask him where we stood because it has been a year and I have no idea where things were going. He said he “never likes to say never” to the idea of us dating & he does really like spending time with me, but he’s not ready for a relationship still which I understand & respect but it did kind of..hurt? He’s a sweetheart. He supports my dreams & encourages me/reassures me. He listens to my long rants & gives feedback. He can read me like a book, & knows I suck at communicating & pushes me to do better & practice with him. He constantly asks me about my views on relationships or what I want in a husband/boyfriend. We have a lot in common & can talk for hours. He’s a complete gentleman & is super attentive and ofc has flaws but he’s so sweet to me so I guess I’m just lost on how to proceed. It sucks because he wants me to be vulnerable with him and tell him everything on my heart but I close myself off because if this doesn’t work out I’ll be destroyed & I can’t let my walls down yet. I don’t see a point of this relationship if it isn’t going to go anywhere. We live about 3 hours apart but obviously I don’t want to do this weird LDR forever. I do really love him but I can’t tell if he’s just super nice & keeping me around for sex or if he actually just really wants to focus on what he needs to do. Wondering if I should just honestly just let it go at this point because I really don’t wanna get heartbroken. At this point he’s the only guy I’ve ever felt like this for so it does hurt & I’d hate to loose someone so important to me over this. TDLR; first love & I have rekindled and we’re in a LDR situation-ship. He said he loves me but he’s still not ready for a relationship and I’m scared I’m wasting my time.