Spillevinken

I think it would be romantic to have the children with us. This place is full of couples who engage in each others with kids. But yes, I actually asked her to go to a vacation together and so she could go alone with her kid because I knew it would be like this. I can’t force anyone though.

Well, I told her this morning how I feel about this, how it felt when she denied me to kiss her the first time I even dared to try and when her son was in the toilet, how it felt when she dropped my hand the very first and only try etc. She can absolutely do everything of this at home and in front of her kid. But here not even when he does not see. She replied that it is sad that I feel this way and that she has tried her very best and that she shows more love than usually. She also says that she understand that I am feeling rejected. She hates to feel rejected. Now I will stop trying and I will do everything on my own.

Yes, we have two rooms. My memory of this vacation will be distance. It feels very unromantic.

Also to add that she was extremely negative to change the sleeping hours before travel. Even one hour so we could get 6 instead of five hours in bed was too much. All because she is a mom. Meanwhile I put my kids to bed early when she is at my place even when they are free from school, just to meet her needs of sleep.

Yes, and her son stays up at night so I can’t sleep while I have to sleep when she does.

You are completely right about kids. Also I feel worthless very often now. I can’t recall that I ever did before this. But a completely different person I don’t know if I agree. It is possible to get help to not feel criticised when your partner only tell you how he feels to be able to find some kind of solution or at least be understood. A bigger question I think is that exclusion. Yes, I have to live with that one. Maybe I can do, if it is not put to its extreme. Bur also I believe that I am too sensitive and that I need to work with myself.

Yes you are right that this on and off have made me very, extremely hurt and now very sensitive for any sign that the same can repeat. And I would say that my logic brain stand no chance over the amygdala. Also I can not leave her. I am in some way blocked.

I could have been very happy with her if I was able to speak out whatever I feel or think. I have always been able to do that before her. Also if I did not feel so excluded. But these are two very big if.

No, but the door to our room must stay open 24/7. So I can’t have one word private with her.

I do not. She does. First time because I put demands on her which I really did not. Second time I even don’t remember because I was grieving someone I love who died. Third time because she once again thought I said something I did not. I urged her to understand me, and I wrote a letter so she could really take her time and if she failed I would help her. But she said that I gave her an ultimatum.

She has refused to do that. yea same

What sons needs? We have been out doing stuffs before without me having to have to walk behind them. He was perfectly fine and included. I would never exclude a kid. But I would also like to be included.

Yes, it is. And yes, two years in total with three break ups.

You might be right about that, but we are here right now 🙄

If I do I am scared that the will get upset, because usually she always do when I say that something feels bad for me. So I prefer not to. But usually she complains that she doesn’t know what to do when both her son and me is present.