bigbossmg

Yeah, and my girlfriend gets upset immediately if I mention an apartment where the two of us are alone. She feels like she is too young to leave her home and doesn't want to go to an apartment with me alone yet. But why does it matter because we're practically living together already? I mean, isn't it better to live alone in our place where we don't have to move every few days? It's like she doesn't understand that we are a young couple that needs to have time for themselves to develop the relationship. I've even told her that. She is actually mad at me because for the first time I'm not budging in and am not letting her get her way every time. That's what she is mad about, or "disappointed" as she said lol.

I'm also getting sick of her mother. Yesterday, her mother was very disappointed, and upset. My girlfriend's brother told her how sad she is blabla., basically fishing for attention and now my girlfriend again insist we hang around her house because "her mother is sad". Nobody loves her, she does everything for everyone and people are constantly hurting her etc. I feel like we have to babysit her. My girlfriend wants me to work Thursdays and Fridays from their house so that her mother is not alone. So, I would have to babysit her while I work lol. I've told my girlfriend even if I do work from there those two days to keep her company she would still be alone as I am working and don't have time to talk to her all the time. This doesn't seem normal to me. I'm not her child, I'm not a babysitter, and she is old enough to not behave like this, I don't want to spend my whole life pampering an adult whenever she feels sad.

I'm still trying to figure out why she is bothered by that so much. I'm guessing she is afraid I would look at another woman while doing that or think about another woman. Because that's what happened in her past. She is constantly bringing her past in and making bad decisions. I'm not bugging her about every single goddamn thing. I'm only telling her to stop doing the things I mentioned in this thread and we would live a very happy life. We are constantly going through the same arguments - on repeat. This is what I told her. If we have a new problem, no worries, let's sit down and talk, but for the last God knows how many months, it's constantly been the same problems over and over again. Problems that we already solved and talked about. And now, she is not used to me expressing my opinion and having boundaries and she is on the defensive and blaming me.

She is constantly accusing me of masturbating (her last boyfriend did it so she is assuming I do it too), even though I am not. Constantly skeptical about me, and the things I do. I walk on eggshells all the time. We've once again had conversations about the stuff mentioned in this thread, but all she is doing is playing the victim card and getting mad when I mention a breakup if these things continue happening. Right now this is close to breaking up, and I think it will be the end of us. I finally started expressing my opinion instead of holding it in, and now she can't accept that.

The latter but it is hard to let go for me, always has been. I'm having problems with that especially since my mother died, I would be all alone in that house with my dad. It will be really ***ty. So you could say that this relationship is perhaps an illusion, but I don't know how I could cope with all of that considering the stuff that happened in the last year and now getting this stressful work...

The situation is not getting better. It got better, but now it's still bad again. This is not about living situation anymore as we have solved that and I have stood my ground. Now she is mad all the time for stupid things, throwing temper tantrums because of situations that are so blatantly stupid, and the segment in which if it's not her way she is getting mad is, you've guessed it, always there. She is a hypocrite, and has a huge ego and entitlement so much so that if she is sick and people don't contact her during the day to ask her how she is she gets mad..

By forcing I mean constantly trying to persuade me, not physically forcing me lol. I'm also not saying we should be living together. However, if I was to say: We'll see each other on the weekends - all hell would break loose. There would be drama all over the place, as she wants to constantly be with me. Could be that she doesn't trust me (she is jealous after all). She wants to be with me all the time and wants to sleep with me. I think she would rather break up than go back to us seeing each other twice a week (we only did that for like 3 months).

I've never worked there, but the problem is she is forcing me to. I've told her that on highly stressful days I want us to be at my house because I don't feel like driving. On others, I'll come and visit after work. It's not permanent, she also said it's not, but she wants to live at her house for now as she feels she is too young to go live in an apartment. All bunch of bull*** if you ask me, and this is a ticking time bomb.

We talked and resolved the issues. This is a test from my side to see if those issues will persist or not. I'm working from home and that was my final decision. She actually made a big fuss about it but eventually calmed down and accepted the decision. We can see each other after work, but I'm working from my office. We almost broke up, but we were able to talk it out. I've also talked to my best friend who has always been there for me. He is the type of guy in a relationship that is always: my way or highway. He, of course, said to break up with her immediately and even offered to drive me home. We managed to work things out though, for now. I'll see how the situation will unfold, my things are packed just in case. I've also told her that we should live alone and that we are a young couple who needs privacy. What troubles me is that she is still saying the same old: "I'm only 22 I still don't want to leave my house". However, I stated that that is not fair to me as I am 26 and am looking to stay long-term with someone. She said she actually had no plan for the future whatsoever, she is taking it day by day. I asked her: "So you intended for us to crash at your place and my place for years to come?". She said yes and I started laughing. I told her that we will not do this for long, as I want us to have our own private life and peace. She said she loves the current dynamic but I didn't budge and told her that I don't plan to do this for too long, and if she sees herself with me in the future, she would immediately want to live with me alone, not do this. She was silent after this. But eventually, we agreed on those things. However, I am highly skeptical and I think she will most likely still do what she wants, which is where I will end the relationship.

You were right in some things and wrong in others. Her oldest brother lives apart, nor does her mother stop anyone from leaving and moving to a better job. Her middle brother also has a traveling job so he is not home until later in the evening anyway, sometimes not for a week. The problems are: - She is too connected to her mother - She gets away with everything - Her dad wasn't all that good to them when they were younger, right now they don't really love him all that much, but have that sort of a weird connection where they would do anything for him but also would get in a fight with him in like 3 seconds. (he is a difficult man). He, for example, acts completely differently when I am around and when I am not. When I'm there, he is a nice, goofy, positive guy. When I'm not, he is always negative and constantly tries to pick fights with them. - Her mother is too sensitive and she gets sad and cries very easily. When we went away for the first day she started crying on the phone and told my gf: "I have a bad back, your dad is not home until 5 pm because of work, what if something happens to me and I'm all alone?" It's like she expects us to be there all the time to look after her and keep her company. I care about her, she is a good woman, but come on... It's unreasonable to think that we have to be there ALL the time. - As soon as I start to voice my opinion, my gf gets mad and either hangs up or straight up starts acting like a child, this is when her mother always stands on my side and tells her she is being unreasonable. Then, and only then my gf starts seeing things from my perspective. This also brings me to a point that her mother won't always be here for us and if we can't solve our problems alone, it will be really bad for the future. - They are a family that always wanted others to help them. They frequently changed jobs, people stopped hanging out with them, people betrayed them... For a lot of those cases, it's their own fault. They are always talking in this way: "when I worked there, nobody helped me.", or "he didn't help us at all", and stuff like that. Every family friends they had, every godfather to their child stopped hanging out with them, and every neighbor also.

I realized my mistake about not visiting my dad. (The story is a bit different though, he has a girlfriend and stuff so it's not like he is alone, but he is alone in the house). Plus I do have a brother that has a family and they also visit for three days a week, but sometimes not every week. I did have a talk with her about that and we began visiting much more. Her family likes my dad and always help him around, the problem is mostly my gf who is always pulling us to go to her house, without even asking if I wanna stay at my house or anything. She is a student that works student jobs, so mostly she works in various stores. Right now she has a chance for a really high-paying job, so this will change as well.

There is also the problem of them thinking my family doesn't like them, which is not true at all. My dad loves them and my brother's family lives in another town and has a baby so they only saw them like 2 times, but were always nice to them. They have too many expectations and have a deformed view of what this should be. They expect that they help them and come by all the time lol. They are literally analyzing every word and action my family does and always manage to make it look negative, even though it's not negative at all. My brother gave his half of the house to me as he lives with his family in another city, and yet they somehow managed to make that look bad by claiming he is doing that to make me and my girlfriend watch over my father when he gets old and sick so he doesn't have anything to do with that. But that is completely ridiculous lol... There were a lot of situations like that. My brother left some of his money on my account from a client he has and told me to keep some of it as a courtesy for him using my account. And even that they viewed as negative lol. I constantly have to explain the actions of my family to them. Which are not harmful or bad in any way at all. Not to mention that my girlfriend hates my brother's wife, and yet she has never done anything harmful to her but was always nice and polite. I think that for a relationship that's only a year old families are involved too much in this, and we should have our own intimacy and a healthy dynamic. Right now, this is not healthy at all.

This has actually been the biggest issue for me as I have sacrificed myself so much, and spent time at her place to make it easier for her, and now that she has to give it back, she doesn't want to. This is bugging me a lot. Her mother actually admitted it's her fault because she always got her way when she was young, and now it's tough to change that since she feels entitled that everyone does everything as she says. I think she needs a reality slap. A big one. Until then, she will just continue being like this.

I'm absolutely sure she would love to live with them forever, but for me, there is no chance. Too crowded, I don't like the house layout and I already have a house that's literally on me lol. So why would I go there? She says she doesn't want to live with her family forever, but "for now, we should live like this" which honestly might mean that she is planning on manipulating me to do that.

This is a nice way to reframe this. No, I am not paying rent. I do buy things for the house here and there and we get along really well. Her parents adore me. We even have parties on the weekend (they are lovely people). On that note, all of them seem too attached to me. Her brothers too. They even said they can't fathom the idea of me not being in their lives anymore. I've helped them a lot. Got her brother a way better job, gave the other brother a lot of life advice to the point that the only person he likes to talk to is me (even though he is older 4 years than me), etc. And her? Oh, my God, I've changed her life so much that she should be grateful forever. Even though she is not. Got her the last 5 jobs she had, even this one with the high pay, helped her with her college, introduced her to a bunch of people and my friends, and made her waaaay more mature than she was... She got a job where she will travel a lot, and the pay almost equals mine. We will be basically living on 7000 euros a month, and the average pay in my country is 800 euros. So you can see that money is definitely not a problem. She has a work ethic, she works a lot, but her home duties are not so much developed. I do have to learn to cook as I don't know anything about it, and she does cook but after work, she just doesn't feel like it. We're in a grey zone and I think this will make or break our relationship.