I have some anger management issues and guilt when I end up hurting people around me, especially my wife. Hurting as in not physical but mental/emotional. I justify this to myself sometimes, when I get angry at things that have to be a certain way. For instance, our wardrobe is always messy. Though every few weeks I put the effort to dump everything out and organize it, it still goes back to the way it was. This led to an argument where I yelled, not verbal abuse but more like angry advising. This kind of thing happens every now and then if I see something I don't like. Though my intentions may be good, my method of talking, and getting angry for the little things is not right. I've seen a lot of people who are totally fine with messy wardrobes or kitchens or whatever it may be and I have wished to be a more patient person. I am convinced that anger is not the solution to these problems and I have stopped justifying it to myself. I feel a lot of guilt for my behaviour later and though I apologize for it later, we might move forward from it but it doesn't make me feel better about myself.
Furthermore, sometimes I tend to behave rudely to strangers, especially while driving. I showed the finger to a lady driver the other day since she was honking at me and wanted to get ahead of me while there was a lot of traffic. This wasn't my fault and just her impatience, my angry gesture was uncalled for and I felt a pang of guilt right after it. I still feel bad about it but it rarely helps to feel that way after the fact. I wish she could know I am sorry and if I ever meet her again, I'd tell her the same.
The whole point though, is my being triggered for every single thing isn't helping me or anyone around me. I need to find a way to be patient and calm about things. I want to be more of a person who accepts things, situations and people the way they are. I know there's no miracle cure but any advice is welcome and thanks!
