He is good to me. The thing is - other than I'm the one who he spends all of his time with (when not at work, of course), he treats me like he could treat any other friend/family member. He cooks for me, takes me to dinner/movies, etc....those things are GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My X husband lacked in those areas and I always desired it. But you can do that w/ ANYONE! I appreciate those things and cherish our time together - I'm not complaining.
As far as the I Love You goes...he's not told me since December 27th. I've told him a few times since then and he doesn't say anything. Like "I sure do love you!" (in that context). One night months back (I think it was November), we were getting off the phone (I was here at his house and he was at work out of state) - when we were hanging up, I said, "I love you, Bob." His name isn't Bob, lol, but we will go w/ that. He said, "Goodnight Mary!!" (very as a matter of fact). And my name is not Mary - lol. We hung up the phone and it was very hurtful because it was a couple of weeks after he had FIRST told me he loves me. So I called him back and asked him what is going on here in this relationship. He played dumb, of course. He said, "I already told you I Love You." I told him I understand that, but just to say goodnight when someone tells you they love you is kind of a slap in the face. He told me he didn't need to tell me all the time. FAIR, but still - "goodnight" was kind of a slap. When he had first told me he loves me in October, he told me he may tell me every time we hang up the phone. I just laughed and said that was fine. Well, he didn't tell me again for quite a while - so "every time we hang up the phone" made me think I'd be hearing it at least daily (just not after every phone conversation). It's all just so silly, but we are grown ass adults and shouldn't be so elementary. If you love someone, tell them! Ya know?
Long story short - we started calling each other babe and baby a couple of months into our newfound relationship last year. Being a term of endearment, it made me feel special, right? I had NEVER heard him call another female babe before. Now - he calls other women babe!!!!! It's the oddest thing!!! His sister, niece, our dogs - and God only knows who else. I don't know how many women he works around on a regular. He works out of state (chemical plant work). The fact that "babe" just flows out of his mouth so easy kind of took the specialness away from it when he said it to me. Make sense? Not to sound ridiculous, but I'm your woman and you call me babe - but now all other women are babe??? Say that to the wrong coworker or someone at the airport who is sitting next to you (he twice a week (there and back) - and if she's a lonely woman, "babe" could get her attention.
Months ago he was at the airport and we were on the phone. His flight was delayed and delayed until he had to go to the counter to get a hotel voucher. I could hear a woman in the background talking and he said to her, "I'm in the same boat, babe!" That was the 2nd time I had heard him call another woman babe. I didn't say a word. In my opinion, everyone shouldn't be babe all the sudden! He just started calling me that and now everyone else, too?? He uses it VERY freely now. He calls me baby all the time now, but very casually - just like he calls his great neices (babies) baby or our dogs.
That may sound ridiculous, but can I have just ONE thing that is special???
I'm not even going to get into the sex. It's almost non-existent. He has extremely low testosterone (we just found out) and has very little sex drive (around me anyway!!). In return, that makes me feel undesired. Add that to no "I Love You" and calling everyone babe, and you have an insecure woman (me!). LOL!
I feel like he almost undresses younger women (20s/30s) when we are out and about. It used to be worse, but I've not noticed quite as much lately. AGAIN, I'm not with him during the week when he's out of state. When he drinks a little too much, he gets SUPER peacocky (confident)! Liquid courage, ya know? But he's slowed his drinking down quite a bit.
So - there is definitely a lot of dynamics to this relationship - as there are w/ any relationship.
Sadly, sometimes I just feel like he just likes my companionship.