Undertaker77

To electricorchid, I'm not really sure how'd I'd define it. I mean I let this completely slide off my memory for about 40 years so how can that be labeled "obsessed". I mean, lately I think that I'm dwelling the regrets in my life as ghosts that just won't go away. I have a ton of regrets and I wish it was just a simple matter of just forgetting them but I'm just not wired that way. Maybe everyone else can but I can't. As for why I married my wife...I actually didn't think I was going to get married. We met through a dating newspaper ad. This was a long time before any dating websites existed. We're probably more opposite in our personalities but we've been making it work. Or maybe we just decided to settle with each other and all our flaws. I was interested in your discussion of your man from New York City since it sounds similar to my story. So say hypothetically, your man reached out to you by a phone call, email or whatever just to touch base with you. Would you at least communicate with him? Granted it sounded like his viewpoints of the world differs from yours but does that mean you would you just hang up on him?

To Kwothe28: You focused on my comment about the sex but i was just being honest. But you missed the part where I thought of my girlfriend as my “soulmate”. The fact that the world seemed better when I was around her. That we bonded in our conversations about about almost every issue. I felt comfortable with her on all issues. I guess I thought that was possibly the starting point of falling in love with her. However, before I wrote my question I was 50/50 on if I’d really contact her or not. But for now i’m more pretty sure I won’t. I might have thought of her as my soulmate but I clearly wasn’t hers. So I guess my idea of soulmates is just a pile of crap. I’ll have to live with that.

I ran across this website when I was searching for other people in a similar situation as me. Here’s my story…about 40 years ago in college I fell for a girl, that I thought was my soulmate. We dated for several months, and we got along great. No problems. She did things to me in bed that blew my mind. However, I think I caught Mono from her during that time since I wasn’t kissing anyone else while we were dating but that’s just a side point. Anyway, I thought everything was fine until one day she told me that her old boyfriend had proposed to her, and she accepted. Looking back at the past with the girlfriend, I had to maybe question the relationship. Was I just a pawn in her game to get the old boyfriend jealous enough for him to propose to her and I was never a serious contender for her affection? But I don’t know that. After that rejection, I was totally destroyed. I wanted a clean slate and after that college term, I never went back to that school and instead I transferred to another college and worked on getting an Accounting/Bus. Finance degrees. Jump to today, I’m married with a wife and two daughters. The marriage is okay. That’s the best way I can describe it. I don’t think my wife is in anyway my “soulmate” but we’re making it work. I know she loves me because a lot of the times all of the work around the house is handled by me. I guess when I thought of marriage I thought it would be like we’d be a team to handle everything around the house but it feels like it pretty much all falls on my shoulders. Most of the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, all of the yard work. Etc. Plus, I’m the one paying the bills and trying to get her out of debt with her credit cards. Recently, I was on LinkedIn and saw the picture of the old girlfriend of 40 years. She looks older but so do I. I was thinking of emailing her to see about her past 40 years and comparing notes on raising kids and the ups and downs of life. Part of me is saying I shouldn’t contact her the other part of me is saying what’s the harm. It’s been 40 years and clearly, she has her life and for the most part, I have my life aside from me feeling a little nostalgic about the past. I know there’s nothing I could say or do to wipe away 40 years and with that in mind is it stupid to think I should try and just communicate with her?