Sash12

It was hard knowing we weren't going to see each other for that long, but it wasn't that weird. We have gone long periods without seeing each other before. And for me to go to Asia it would be hard because I have a son and a dog, and it is hard to get someone to watch my dog for that long. This has always been the hardest part of me going to see him, arranging dog sitting. I know I have to accept the fact that it is over. This is the first heartbreak I've had to deal with relationship wise, and damn it's hard. I don't know if it makes it harder because now I'm older.

Last time we saw each other was when I went to see him in September. The plan was that I was going to see him again when he got back in March.

Thank you! I am just amazed at how cowardly people can be, especially those that you think you knew so well. It kind of takes your ability to trust people away.

I have thought about this a lot. That maybe he's found someone there, had someone there, etc. But he has not been there in a decade. And he has never given me a reason to question him, until now. As you can see from my responses...I am still in the denial stage. Everyone says that time heals all wounds...yes I know that is true. But in the mean time, how do you go on with every day life when you are constantly thinking about this? It's not only the betrayal, but it really makes you question yourself. I gave this man everything and did just about anything for him, and yet it was not enough.

I am starting to get to that anger stage. I am so pissed that he could not only do this to me, but my son also. He knows how much he means to my son. I just cannot believe someone can be so heartless like that. So he overstayed in the US during Covid lockdown. He had his own place that he was renovating. He eventually moved in with me and we lived together for a little over a year. He went back to Canada to do some things for his family, and the plan was that he was going to stay there for a few months and come back. But when he tried to come back, the US border denied him entry. A bunch of immigration BS. We had clear long term goals. We never had a doubt in our minds that we'd be married, etc. Until now I guess.

It is extremely painful and hard to accept. Thank you for your kind words.

I am in the US. But he couldn't come back here for a bit because he was banned due to overstaying during the pandemic, so I would go and visit him. He always paid for the expenses when I would go to visit him. At this point, if he did meet someone else in the country he was in, I would gladly accept it. But the not knowing is absolutely horrible. In my gut I do not think that is the case, I don't think he met someone else. But I could be wrong. I just can't understand why someone would ghost you after 2 1/2 years together. He wouldn't even necessarily need to give me an explanation. Just a simple F Off would've done it.

I totally see your point. Maybe I have been ignoring the red flags. But when he was in Canada, he would call me ALL the time, and I would call him all the time. Like anytime he was in the car, or anytime something happened, etc. So there's never been anything that he's hidden from me. This is why I'm struggling so much about this. He was always there when I needed him, and I was always there when he needed me. No questions asked. We had our future goals and plans. I've never given him a dime. If anything, he was the one to help me with thing. I know I need to somehow accept what has happened and try to move on. But how the hell do you just move on from something like this with no closure? He as my end all be all. The one that I said everything in may past happened for me to meet him. Ridiculous right?

Well that's the thing. If he said that he found someone else, ok. I would be devastated but I would accept it. But he is not like that. He is not one to fool around or go seeking other people. I know that may be hard to believe, but he is just not like that. He has always been honest with me...brutally. But who knows, maybe I am just in denial here.

So yes, we were together for a full year before he moved...during the pandemic. So we were with each other all day, every day. It was great. He went back home to Canada, which only has a 1 hour time difference and only a 3 hour flight away from me. I have visited him many times while he was there. He was not able to come to see me due to immigration issues. Otherwise he would've been back here for good. He did not say the relationship was over...which is what is making me so crazy. The last time we spoke on 12/2, he said he would call me the next day after his golf game, after he has had some time to think about stuff. Never heard from him since. Not even a, "we're over", or, "i need more time" or anything. I have tried calling him via video call and it seems like maybe he blocked me. I know he is going through his own things right now, but to not even say a word to me? It is so not him. I have texted him and I know he's seen at least one of my messages but did not respond. We text via WhatsApp so I can see when he last logged on. I know he doesn't talk to anyone else on there, so I don't know why he even still has it if he wants to cut off all communication with me. I'm trying to wrap my head around how he can go from calling me his wife, to all of a sudden saying nothing. Makes absolutely no sense.

Yes, I am totally besides myself. We have always had such a deep relationship. I have tried calling him via video call, because that's how we've had to communicate since he's been overseas. And it seems like he blocked me on there. We also text via WhatpsApp. I've sent him a few messages and the last one I sent that I know he read was on Saturday. He read it and did not respond. I sent another text last night and he did not read it or has not logged in to his WhatsApp. So he was going to Asia for about 4 months, just to be away from the harsh winter. He has lived there many years before so it was like a second home to him. The plan was, he was going to go there, do some golfing, eat some food, and just do his normal stuff like watch Netflix. The issues he has are dealing with extreme headaches that are caused by pressure change in the weather. I have seen it first hand and know it is brutal. It would totally debilitate him to where he would not be able to do anything at all. So he has suffered this last winter there, and he did not want to do it again this year. So now that he is in Asia, no harsh weather there and he if finally feeling well mentally and physically.

To make a long story short, I have been in a relationship for 2 1/2 years. 1 1/2 years of those have been long distance. Every thing was great, we communicated throughout the day, every day. He recently went overseas to get away from the harsh Canadian winter. I had a really hard time with the change, the time difference, and the lack of communication. I admit that I did not make things easy for us during this time. He has been there for a month now, and I have not heard from him in 10 days. He got upset at me after calling him and crying and being upset about some guy making a rude/racist comment to me while out with my girlfriends. At first he was comforting, then suddenly got so upset at me. Accusing me of always going out with my friends, drinking, while he is there trying to better himself for us. He has some deep-rooted issues that he was trying to workout while away overseas, since he was finally mentally and physically starting to feel better (he has been suffering from some health issues for the past 10 years). I just can't believe that someone that I've planned my life out with could suddenly do this. Like I meant nothing to him, all the time we've shared meant nothing. And to make things worse, he and my 10 year old son were very close. I am at a total loss for words and don't know how to accept this. I feel so much despair. How could he not even let me know it was over, or what ever it is he was going through. This is so much out of his character.