I love my boyfriend but can’t stand his mom
(PLEASE DO NOT HARASS ME ABOUT THE WAY I WRITE, IM 17 IM TRYING MY BEST WITH THE EDUCATION I HAVE, I originally wrote to Reddit but felt worse after 5 minutes because all people could say were mean things about not knowing how to format paragraphs or using correct grammar, please understand I tried my damn best.)
I (17f) have been in a really good relationship with my boyfriend (18m). I love him endlessly I don’t think there’s a guy more perfect then him. For the past 5 months I’ve driven 45 minutes to see him and 45 minutes back home at the end of the night, practically living at his house besides to sleep. I decided to switch to online school for finishing my senior year so I was able to have more time with my boyfriend. He is nothing but good, has never made me feel unsafe, puts 100% in all of the time. I’ve had emotional breakdowns where I would just cry and yell and he just holds me. I have no doubt that this is the man I’m gonna marry, but I don’t think his mom is someone I want in my life. First off I know I’m already gonna have people telling me “oh you’re too young to chose the person you’re gonna marry” “you’re too young you have other opportunities leave”. I would like to just say I don’t want to leave this boy at any cost, or see him any less then I do now he’s the love of my life, and it is hard sometimes mentally because since I’m with him practically every second I’m awake. I don’t have friends like I used to, not a single person to text, I haven’t listened and sung along to songs I like in the car for months since it’s always either music he likes or when he’s not there I’m on a call with him. I haven’t felt that alive really in a while. I mean things are fun and pretty in the world but nothing feels like how it used to. I love my boyfriend endlessly and I know being with him and putting my 24/7 into him I’ll be happy, safe, protected, cared for, and I don’t have to worry, I trust this man to never break my heart.
Now onto my big issue, his mother. At first I really loved his mom she was sweet all over me about how I should wear her dress when I get married we got along great for the first couple months that I was with my boyfriend. She’s an alcoholic, and I say this with no judgment because I’ve been there, old friends I had in highschool haven been there. I am the last person to judge someone for being an alcoholic, but his mom takes it way to far. On September 25th my boyfriends best friend/cousin died, they were the same age and were extremely close since they were in diapers so it was extremely hard on my boyfriend, day of the funeral comes, my boyfriends mom comes in stumbling over drunk, it was bad, we had to sit in the last row so people wouldn’t see and she got up in the middle of the funeral and just fell, instead of being there for my boyfriend I had to walk his drunk mother out of there, and it only gets worse, as soon as we got outside, she whips a whole bottle of vodka out of her purse and starts drinking it, me and my boyfriend ended up just leaving so we could basically drag her into the car. After that I’ve been slowly losing respect for her, on top of that she likes to just come to us when she’s drunk and talk for hours, I had a really important meeting for school at 9:00, I said something the day before and that morning that I couldn’t be interrupted. As I am actively on that meeting she comes down and just talks to me, about things like chocolate wine that I don’t want my meeting to hear, I ended up just leaving the meeting and rescheduling it later in the day. I have to go home everyday at around 11:00pm. There are times where she just won’t stop drunk talking to us not letting me go home even when I interrupt her saying I have to go and then I end up having to come up with an excuse to my mom why I’m an hour late. This weekend I hit my final straw. My boyfriends little brother(10m) came to me and said “today is the worst day ever” and I asked him why and I don’t think I can be the same after I heard what he said. “Mommy said she was gonna go *** somebody else if daddy doesn’t *** her so they had sex”. Hearing those words coming from a 10 year old made me sick. And then to hear him say that he wants mommy to just stop drinking and that he wants to get his mind off of it broke my heart. That night my boyfriend was extremely harsh with his mom, calling her a failure and dumping all her alcohol, he was trying to make her feel bad for what she did and she just wouldn’t, all she would say was ok or leave me alone and that pissed me off. I don’t ever want to be in that house again after that it makes me sick to even go near. That’s my future childrens grandmother, not just my boyfriends mom. I don’t want her anywhere near my kids until she’s been at least a year sober. I don’t want her in my kids life, but she always talks about how when I have kids she wants to watch them and babysit all the time but I’m not for that.
When I turn 18 in April I was supposed to move in with my boyfriend at his house, I’m 100% against that idea now I just can’t. My boyfriend still wants a relationship with his mom and to be at his house all the time like we used to, but I can’t stand her. I want to get an apartment as soon as I turn 18 and I have the chance of doing so if my boyfriend supports me. He is against getting an apartment he doesn’t want to have to make ends meet and he just thinks we’re perfectly better just being at his house. We both do food delivery together for a job on his account because I’m not allowed to make an account until I’m 18. We make good money about 15 an hour after gas, my boyfriend hates working, but for me it’s stress reliving, working was what got me through my depression before I met him. He doesn’t want to work more then 4 hours a day but I want and need to work more then that if I want an apartment. This is my only way making money my boyfriend isn’t comfort with me getting a job without him and I respect that. I don’t know what to do I need help and advice. What do I do is do i deal his mom being my future how can I get an apartment I just need advice on this whole thing.
TL;DR my boyfriends mom is an alcoholic and I can’t deal with what is see, I’m supposed to move in during April but I want an apartment instead, my only source of money is delivering food with my boyfriend which he refuses to do more then 4 hours a day. He doesn’t want me working without him which I respect. I love my boyfriend endlessly and need to be with him at whatever cost but I need an apartment during April instead of moving in with him, I can’t stand his mom being in my life or my future kids life
