rissa25

It started when I stopped visiting and calling. They never did anyway so it was as simple as that. If I called them now they would happily pretend there was no estrangement whatsoever, we're all simply doing what we want to do. If I took issue with that it would be my problem, that is their attitude. It makes me question, is this justifiable if to believe that is unacceptable, as they are very firm about this. They are my family after all. But it's horrible when other people talk about their gatherings and holidays etc. Maybe this is a family that isn't really a family at all.

I am 48. We haven't seen each other since 2010. Sure they have no obligation to me but they can't even be bothered to keep in contact. Christmas is coming up soon, no idea what they're up to again as they won't say - I could find out eventually but it wouldn't be worth the persistence. What you mean by types of emergencies - you are aware that unexpected things like injuries, job losses, evictions etc. can happen in life due to bad luck, bad decisions and so on.

My family have never been supportive but there have been occasions when I really needed help and they chose to not get involved. I also saw other family members struggle terribly despite it being preventable then pretend it didn't happen. It's made me think, they were there for the parties but nowhere to be found when important things needed covering. They're happy to "talk about life in general" and mess around but would never call or visit let alone offer help in an emergency. Talking about my family to others feels embarrassing. They have so little interest or expectation of me, they'll get angry if I'm out of work but have done nothing to support my goals in education. All I can do is get on with my own life but I can't prepare for everything. I've seen other families help each other. Is it a feeling of entitlement to expect help sometimes? Do I need some "growing up" or is this their problem.