(Fake names for everyone)
So I’ll try to keep this as short as possible but it might ending up being long so I apologize for that. First to give a little backstory I (16m) was with Sarah (16f) from September 2021 to July 2022, she was my first gf and first love. She had to move cities in July, and we didn’t want to have a long distance relationship so we mutually decided to break up. Our relationship wasn’t entirely healthy and she was very dependent on me, and because I didn’t really know what relationships were supposed to be like I just reciprocated even though I know that I need a lot more space instead of being together or calling 24/7. Basically she thought I was “the one” for her and she talked a lot about meeting up in the future after high school and getting back together. I don’t think I was as into that as she was but I didn’t want to make her sad that soon before we had to break up so I almost convinced myself that that was what I wanted so I reciprocated everything she was saying and said all the stupid teenage bull*** like we’ll get married in the future and *** like that.
Well she ended up making an actual plan with me of meeting up at the end of high school and getting together again. At this point I wasn’t even lying to her cause I think I had convinced myself that that was what I wanted as well. Well once we broke up I was devastated for a week or two, but once the love was kind of gone, I stopped seeing the relationship through rose tinted glasses. I realized that there were a lot of times where I stayed in the relationship only because I didn’t know what to expect and because I was in love, but I started to realize that she wasn’t really a great person and not someone that I would want to be in a relationship with in the future.
During this time I hadn’t come to that conclusion yet and I was still trying to convince myself that I should be with her later. So near the beginning of September I started dating another girl Sophie (16f) because I had fully gotten over Sarah. I know this was probably a *** move since technically I still had that agreement with Sarah so a little while later I realized that I owed Sarah at least a text to say that I don’t want to be with her in the future. I have a really bad guilt complex so I’ve basically just been really scared to do it because I hate hurting people and I’ve procrastinated doing it all the way until now. I don’t want to go behind Sophie’s back to text my ex or anything like that so I know I need to tell her but what’s a good way of telling her that I need to send that and explain all this backstory without making her think that I still had feelings for my ex this whole time because I haven’t and I got over her more then a month before we started dating. And then I have no idea where to even begin with my text to Sarah cause I don’t want to bull*** but I also don’t want to completely devastate her because she wasn’t a great person in our relationship but she’s still not like a horrible person or anything.
Well that ended up being very long but any answers or advice would be much appreciated.
TLDR: told my ex we would get back together after our mutual breakup and now I know that I don’t want to be with her in the future, but I need to tell her this without making my current girlfriend think I still had feelings for her
