I haven't dated much at all..In fact I've seen a counselor who diagnosed this as an actual phobia. I also have a diagnosed anxiety disorder and doing pretty well with therapy and meds except for the dating part. I'm older to have these fears, in my 30s, and as a result haven't moved on past kissing, not even so much as making out. I did have a relationship earlier this year where I did kiss and cuddle a bit, making me feel like I can in fact date if I can find someone willing to let me go at my own pace as it took me a long time to be comfortable even kissing. Things didn't work out with this guy but as a result I decided to try dating more.
I met someone online and we both felt like we had a real connection. He had to go out of town for work right after we started chatting and only coming back in a few weeks so haven't had a chance to actually meet in person. We've talked a lot though and I was very honest at first about my issues and the space I'll need which he said he was fine with. His job is very demanding and he's been dealing with very little sleep as well so I know he's stressed out. The problem is that he's been steering the conversation more and more to a sexual nature which I've repeatedly told him I'm not comfortable with. We had a big argument the last couple of days because I've told him to stop sending me these messages and he continues, saying he needs to push me out of my comfort zone and doesn't need to justify anything. I want to talk about how we each feel but he's refused and says I'm blowing things out of proportion. He suggested we stop communication until he comes back and sees if I'm still hung up on discussing boundaries or if we can just "go with the flow".
I feel like he isn't taking my real anxieties seriously and thinks I just need to be pushed. I'm concerned this could mean he won't listen to my own boundaries in person now, I've told him that it feels like assault anytime I've tried to force myself to kiss someone I'm not comfortable around and he seemed to balk at that. I don't know if I even want to see him now though I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not because I know my own feelings aren't the norm.
