I’ve been seeing someone steadily for over a year and we are about an hour apart. He encouraged me to lease an apartment with him starting in July. I normally would not have done this so fast, but I felt confident in our relationship and it gave us a way to spend more time together, in a two bedroom apartment rather than his smaller one bedroom apartment he moved from.
Also, I’ve cut back at work so it made sense that I would move to him part time where there’s a lot more activities and it’s generally a nicer area. Well, this was my intent. It seems like I only go there maybe every other weekend because we have other social engagements which take us out of town.
He does complain from time to time that we haven’t really got into the habit of being together at least four or five days a week in the apartment. Then a month ago I felt ill and the doctors are still trying to find out what’s wrong. Essentially it feels like I have a flu but all the time. I did push myself together last weekend even though I wasn’t feeling great and I started feeling a little sicker by the second day so I left and came home.
I’ve also noticed that he used to send me a little text with a nice picture saying good night every night and that has stopped in the last two weeks. He doesn’t even say good night by text anymore.
He now asked me if I could go back to the apartment today if I’m feeling up to it. Until the doctors figure out what’s going on and get all the test results which should be forthcoming in the next few days, I’m not really sure if I should run there. It’s not a matter of I don’t want to see him because I do it’s more a matter of whether it makes practical sense given my health and also it appears to me that he is either being lazy or he’s just using me.
I state this because I have a beautiful home that he can certainly come to if you would like to see me rather than me driving out to see him. I don’t wanna lose sight of our overall good relationship but it seems to me he should at least offer to come see me and then when I’m feeling up to it, I can go to him. I get the strong sense that if I don’t go there tomorrow to see him then I just won’t see him again this weekend.
It was our 1 year anniversary last Sunday and I was home sick but he said or did anything (even though I know he knows it was 1 year since we discussed it recently and it was on his calendar he checks every day).
I don’t ask for much and while he has called me a few times this week to check in on me he hasn’t really done anything to make me feel better in the sense that he would do something for me if I needed something etc. there’s been no offers. Does it sound like he’s just either selfish or lazy for using me to pay half the rent (even though it was my initial intend to move there full time within a few months)??
