Brand11

21 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

It usually means that they dont like you enough for more. Again, it may not be entirely up to you. If you would "dig deeper" into your examples who knows what you would find. From just a desire to hookup(just because they say they want relationship doesnt mean they actually do) to various other reasons that influenced their decision. You seem to think that its maybe you doing something wrong. But its usually a combination of factors involved.

You like what you like, for better or worst. Think nobody is going to argue you with that. Just saying that you are maybe chasing the type of girls where commitment is not on the menu. Again, average dating apps girl probably gets 10 messages from different guys a day. Beatiful one depending on various factors, maybe over 100. There is a pretty good scientific research regarding the ammount of happiness and number of options. When options are high, happiness is getting low. Because no matter what you choose, there is always the next best thing. So, maybe its the same with your girls. Its hard to commit whn there is always the next better thing.

Anyway, again its just something to think about. You know that you have a lot to offer, are confident enough and are actually getting an insane ammount of dates. So, you should be at least having breakthrough with the numbers game alone. 

It just seems like everything goes so well from both the physical and the not physical aspects of it. Like we seem to get along great and then bam the next day they arent interested in anything, so what are they interested in? So I'll ask them and they never give an answer. They can never give any actual explanation such as "you smell bad" or "you talk too much" or "you dont listen to me" they dont say any actual reason so like ? 

So with all these options they never get in a relationship? Most of these girls im on social media with and a month after telling me no, they are in a happy relationship with some guy that personally doesnt even seem close to my league. Someone once told me it's possible that im almost too good that it's intimidating to them? Idk lol

You could say the numbers are in my favor, but this has been 4 years of nonstop dating. I got close with 1 girl, we went out for about a month multiple times, then in the end said "i lost interest"

20 hours ago, waffle said:

What is the reason or reasons why you don't want to see these particular women again?

 

I forget if i put it in my reply.

But theres multiple very valid reasons. They do not stop talking and you cant get any kind of decent communication, they dont talk at all and are just completely closed off to any kind of convo, they arent into a single thing I'm into and there's no way of talking about any interests, they are just crazy and have no job or drivers license or future, they live really far and its just too difficult. Lots of reasons 

22 hours ago, bluecastle said:

Agree that weeks of texting is excessive and often sabotaging.

For whatever it's worth, when I did the apps—and have gotten in relationships, including my current, thanks to them—I would text back and forth for about 20 minutes and then ask, "Want to continue this chat in 3D? How's Friday or Tuesday around 7 work for you?" 

Personally, this generally worked well. Weeded out people who wanted to chitchat over phones, which I generally have no interest in, and allowed me to go into dates with very low expectations. Maybe it went nowhere, maybe somewhere, maybe a random make out leading to silence—all good, since I hadn't devoted a ton of time hyping someone up in my imagination. 

That's actually a good thought I like what you said there. Me personally i would like this the most. But the problem is majority of girls I've tried anything even close to that with, even after 1 or 2 days, just say "im not ready to be going out i dont know nearly enough about you yet" or they just get turned off about it so it might chase away someone good.

Also there have been girls that after months of texting finally were "not busy enough" to go out and we went out and i liked them a lot 

44 minutes ago, tattoobunnie said:

Talk to them for at least a week or two online and by phone (at least once).  Initiate the dates and ask for the first one by phone.  Take them out to lunch or dinner.  Offer to pay.  If they offer to split or pay, decline, and let them grab drinks.  Don't go meet for the first 4 dates in their homes or your home, ever.  Do something fun like a museum, hiking, picnic at the park, see a band (not a movie) so you can stay close to hear eachother or an experience like a cooking class or paddle-boating.

If you kiss on a first date, keep it light, not hot and heavy.

I made out with people all the time; and could care less if I didn't like them to begin with, even if the date was going sour.  Dating happens with the getting to know you period.  Kissing isn't a declaration of anything but a good time.  

I always talk to them for about 2 or 3 weeks before going out. Usually a phone call in there. I dont get what makes them so excited to meet me and everything seems great, then we meet and it's like no and it never goes further. 

We never meet at their home, we go out to eat or to a bar or something and then without me even asking they invite me to hang at their place. We never have sex, only kiss.

How could someone think making out is just "fun" like if theres nothing behind it then im not making out with you

21 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I would never talk more than a few times before meeting in person at a public place, briefly.  I also never met anyone in person without a phone call and was able to screen out many people through a 15 minute phone call.

Do not ask the stranger out.  Meet as a first meet, if it goes well, conversation flows, you're feeling maybe there could be a potential spark or there is a spark then ask her out on a date you plan in advance.  Chatting online will result in meeting women who want to date online -not serious minded women - and women who like to sext online then meet for a quickie.  With rare exception.  And it won't tell you a thing about whether there is a connection and likely will build expectations on your end based on irrelevant typing and talking.  

I met over 100 men in person through online dating sites.

What i dont get is you say they are just looking for a quickie but they dont even do that lol. We don't even hook up and sleep with eachother so if they're just looking for that then why cant i even at least get that?

We did talk on the phone once and we messaged for like 4 weeks before going out

5 minutes ago, bluecastle said:

I don't think you are doing anything wrong—or even, really, that there's some magical formula that will drastically change things. Dating, in a nutshell, is very weird: sometimes wonderfully so, sometimes frustratingly so. When the frustration outweighs the wonder, it's best to take a little break. 

That said, I'm curious: When you guys are chatting, does the question of what you're both looking for ever come up? As in: Do you clearly express that you are interested in a connection that leads to a relationship? Do you hear this from them?

Everyone else i know is with someone and has been with multiple people. Ive never been officially with someone. Yet im told by friends, both guys and girls, that I'm better than they are and they cant even understand why i cant find anyone.

After the date they say "i am looking for a relationship but not with you" we both know ahead of time we both want a relationship 

4 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

This kinda stucked to me.

Its kinda weird to me that somebody after 250-300 dates cant find anybody to move forward. But it might be a few reasons why.

First of all, you said that most of them are dating apps. Lots of them dont look for relationship. Validation, hookup, that is what lots of those are about. 

Second of all, if you are focusing just on certain stuff like beauty, you would need to know that on dating apps beautiful girls got like 5 of guys like you a day. They go out with you, next day with some other guy etc. Which is fine but you need to understand that its hard to get out on top of all that.

Third of all, and as the extension of second, you are maybe just seen as a "fun guy". Somebody to kiss for one night, have some fun and move on. Maybe they just dont see you as a dating material to move forward. Sorry, but it happens. Also you kinda present yourself in the same way. You spend most of the date kissing. Instead of maybe establishing if you have enough of connection so you can date more.

And fourth of all, and what stuck to me from that passage I quoted, its only certain girls that dont want to move forward, not all of them. Which means that you maybe have a type that you chase unsuccessfully. Which is also fine, you are allowed to like what you like. But as you can see, that type wont maybe want more of the connection after. 

Again, its just something to think about moving forward. Dont think you are doing too much wrong, you are clearly getting dates. But maybe you need a different approach if you see that it doesnt really get you into something more then one night fun.

For some reason everyone i go out with says "they dont feel a genuine connection and we dont vibe" literally i could copy and past tons of these text messages.

In actual english language what does that even mean. We talk about eachothers lives, what kinds of things we are into, and then kiss and go home. What special thing are other people doing that they are getting into relationships?

Why does everybody say okay to dates with me, but then nobody continues. Am I supposed to like jump up on the table and do a flip off of it? Like what more can i possibly do. We have a conversation that flows nonstop and never really stops. We have the same interests. There also must be physical attraction that you are jamming your tongue down my throat, she initiated that and i did not. If i dont kiss her then people say i messed up and she got the message i dont want her, then i do kiss her and people say slow down on kissing her. 

What are types of women can you tell me what types of women there are? I see them all the same like i dont see any difference, you are who you are. As long as i find you cute, you like similar things as i do, and i like talking to you then that's all you can go off of. Am i supposed to go with someone i dont like is that the trick?

1 hour ago, limichelle said:

I think you need to re examine the type of girls you’re attracted to. There’s definitely a pattern. These girls sound like they just want to hookup or play games.  Maybe date outside you’re typical norm. Find girls that may not be a supermodel or girl next door type. Find girls with good personality and strong morals. Remember looks fade and personality brings so much more to the table. 

People say that but what does that even mean? That's not really a possible thing to think about. If you like how someone looks and they seem like a fun person that you can get to know and you share things in common why not go out? If someone agrees to go out why would they not feel a connection, you're agreeing to go out with me in the first place. If you dont like me, then you would not go out with me.

The thing is, she brought me back to her place and thats where we made out. But we didnt even hook up or do anything else besides that

1 hour ago, 1a1a said:

That butterflies in the tummy feeling. 
 

You know sometimes you kiss someone and it feels really exciting and other times you kiss them and it doesn’t feel like anything, just lips pressed against lips. 
 

As to the why continue? Only they know the answer to that. 
 

A person that’s into you and considering you for life long partner material is not going to get discouraged if you say you don’t want to rush into the physical side of things and would instead like to get to know them more as a person. (Escalating to kissing around date 3 seems to be a pretty common rule of thumb). 

I felt butterflies, so why would you invite me out, invite me to her house (thats where we were, she brought me back to her house) and make out with me if you dont want anything?

I've never seen someone that's interested not want to kiss after the first date or at least show enough interest and not kiss after the first one. If you dont kiss someone it feels as if you aren't interested. Id rather kiss

9 minutes ago, 1a1a said:

It could be they don’t feel that spark when they kiss you (biology, if your immune systems are very similar, no spark). But then why keep making out for a prolonged time?

 

What happens if you take it a little bit slower progressing to physical intimacy? I feel like attraction grows in the absence of the person you’re attracted to. 

What spark like i dont get it? Why did she continually shove her tongue down my throat and bite my lip and we both returned the same things for like 5 minutes straight. People say the kissing thing and that just wouldnt make sense.

It's not me even that's initiating it, it's them. The girl always does so if you arent into a guy, why are you climbing all over them to kiss? If i wouldnt kiss them back that would just be a deal breaker right there

So I'm a 27 male and never really been in a relationship

I've gone on hundreds of dates, probably about 250-300 dates. They're mostly from dating apps or messaging on social media. For some reason we talk a lot, everything is going great, we're both excited to finally go out.

Most of time the date feels good, we talk about things we're into, get to know eachother, convo flows well the entire time, no weird moments.

Most of the time after the date we make out for a long time. So it's like you must feel good about it that you're making out with me right?

Then the next day energy is completely different, they dont act interested at all. And then 90% of them say the same exact line

"I didnt feel a connection"

And this only comes from girls that I'm actually into and really like and want to move forward with. The only girls that dont say that and want to move on are ones I'm not crazy about and dont want to move foward.

What is this and what more can someone possibly do? Why does nobody I actually like go further?