A while ago, I found myself briefly hanging out with my partner, his friend, and that friend's group of friends. They had all been drinking. One of the friends suddenly made a very loud comment about what he'd like to do to me in front of the whole group of people. I went into a freeze response, and no one else said or did anything to address that individual's behaviour towards me. My partner turned to that individual, kind of smiled, waved him off, and then continued his conversation with his other friend. Thankfully I haven't had to interact with that individual since that moment.
I addressed this with my partner a few days after, and he went into full defensive mode. He started saying that he intentionally did not drink enough to forget anything that happened, and that he remembered everything that happened that night. But he did not remember that individual making that comment. He followed up with: "Wow, it seems like you often hear things I don't, have you noticed that?" He used a few examples to further make me sound like I'm either crazy or a liar.
This isn't the only situation in which he defended his friends for behaviours he condemns in other people. I'm at a loss for what to do right now, especially because since last night, I'm in a position where I have to address something disrespectful my own friend said to him. I'll of course do it. But it feels like a lot of unreciprocated labour on my part.
