We're only a week into it at this point, I met her on Tinder and should have guessed from the beginning she was married but it just didn't cross my mind, I'm 24 and she's 39. I found out she was married the second time and have since seen her twice more. After the third time I started to get cold feet, I'd had a really stressful day and attended a friends funeral and my mood spiraled hard. I wanted to talk to people about a lot of other issues I'm facing right now but felt like I couldn't because I have this secret I can't possibly tell anyone and I'm one to share everything with someone I confide in. I'd recovered a bit the next day and didn't feel as hopeless, we met and talked and I ended up staying with her. We had a pretty fraught text exchange while I had cold feet, I was really stressed about it and she revealed afterwards she'd had to stay off work because she was so upset.
She's in a loveless marriage but they keep it together for the kids and appearances, they both "go to see friends" late at night and come back late, so it can be assumed he's seeing others as well. Given she's come out 4 nights in one week and stayed for hours I'm inclined to believe this as it would be glaringly obvious to anyone who was paying attention and cared. I have no intention of taking her away from him or otherwise interfering, the outcome I would like most at this point would be for them to miraculously (it would truly be miraculous by the sound of it) rekindle their love for each other and me to be able to happily leave.
I've honestly never had a very fulfilling relationship, they've generally been short (<1 year) and I've never felt I've been able to truly open up with someone and give them all my love and affection, or have them do the same with me. This has been the only exception, we have amazing, loving sex, and cuddle and talk with each other the whole time, we share a lot with each other, text a lot, and I make her laugh and smile. This is the only time I've experienced this amount of affection or appreciation from someone and when I'm not in a bad mood and worried about the situation as a whole this makes me incredibly happy. Alongside what I'm getting out of this I would feel bad about cutting things off as she's a lovely woman and her marriage situation is lamentable, it's been this way for a long time and while she's seen a few other people she's never wanted to see any of them again as they weren't good in bed and/or kept completely distant emotionally. I intend to keep dating and she's fine with that, as soon as I have scheduled a first date I stop seeing her (I had one this week but it was dull), I'm not stupid enough to stop looking for a real shot at love over this and would never cheat on someone or see her while in the early stages of dating.
In short when I'm not worried about this I'm happy to keep seeing her as long as I don't hurt myself, her, or anyone else by doing so. I also worry a little about the future as I would ultimately want to disclose this to a partner at some point that felt appropriate and it'd be kind of heavy, though I feel I'm basically already in pretty deep. This situation is pretty specific and I myself would end a marriage if I found myself in this situation rather than take the same course of action (perhaps easy to say at 24 having never been married). Open to profound advice that will shift my perspective but mostly just looking to vent.
