AoifeB

I have a colleague who is more senior that I’ve had quite a flirty relationship with for a few months. We often gravitate towards each other but I felt it was just him being friendly as I’m relatively new. last night after an exhibition I ended up going to his hotel for dinner with him but I then missed my last train home. The hotel had no more rooms left so he insisted he would sleep on the floor and I the bed. We chatted a lot while this was the case but he then ended up in the bed together. it got touchy so he brought up that it was crossing a line as both work and the fact he is married with kids and I’m in a long term relationship. We discussed we had both thought about it but he said he didn’t think it would ever happen as I was ‘young and hot’ and because of our relationships. We ended up kissing and a lot of touching but I stopped it going further and explained aside from morally, I also didn’t want to ruin our working relationship. I asked if he would feel guilty after and he didn’t know but said he just knew it would be really good. I insisted we shouldn’t despite attempts and then in the morning I ended up doing foreplay. We then didn’t really talk about it until he left and said it wouldn’t be weird at work etc. he then hugged me and said to let him know I had got home. he hasn’t really messaged since aside from that so I don’t know if he feels guilty or is disappointed it didn’t go further. He didn’t say it shouldn’t have happened so I don’t know if alternatively he thinks it may in the future, but i feel like I’ve been used as an ego boost that didn’t pay off. I do feel like I would like it to go further, despite how morally wrong that is but I don’t know what to do. I just can’t stop thinking about it.

I started a new job earlier this year and the whole business meets up once a month in the office - this always leads to a few drinks after work. There is a colleague who is more senior than me that I often end up spending a lot of time with at the pub. We take the mick out of each other a lot and we make each other laugh, but I can’t tell if he’s flirting with me or just being nice as I’m new to the business. Day to day we don’t have much contact at work but he has said he doesn’t want me to leave the business (due to a tricky colleague of mine) and that I know he’s ‘fond’ of me. He tells me things in relation to work that he says he shouldn’t and seems to have my back a lot. However the last few times we have met I’ve felt him put his hand around my waist once or twice, albeit very briefly. We walk to the station together and hug goodbye, but this week he also kissed me on the cheek. He then messaged to check I had got the train okay. The next morning he messaged me on Teams taking the mick out of something i had said the night before and asked if I was staying in London next week for the event the company is attending. He then messaged me again later to complain about his hangover. He is married with young children and does talk openly about his wife and them, so I can’t work out if he is flirting or just being really friendly? I don’t have ill intentions but I want to understand if it’s appropriate or if I am just over thinking his actions and he is actually just being friendly after a couple of drinks. And if he is flirting, is it just innocent flirting or is it because he has further intentions?