6 weeks ago I met a guy in a bar whilst out. We mostly flirted but we also had lots in common. I stated pretty soon on that I wasn't interested in a hookup as he was very flirty & suggestive but he told me he was fine with that and asked me on a date.
It was lovely. He took me for a nice dinner and to the to floor of a hotel to show me views and we laughed and chatted non stop. For the last 4/5 weeks, we have been meeting every weekend, exploring the city we recently moved to, chatting, laughing, eating out, trying new hobbies... Its been spontaneous & impulsive.
He explained early on that he is very one worded and straight to the point. This didn't bother me until week 3 where our weekends were so fluid but hed message back every few hours with a simple "yeah true x" or simply "yeah". He phones me sometimes but not all that often.
Last weekend was pretty intense. We went to a sunset beach and he got his phone out, took a picture of us stating "I want a new profile picture, come here. I'm gonna get a photo of us" . Immediately he uploaded it to Facebook, this was a nice indication that he wanted people to know about us but we didn't have the "what are we" conversation. Happy that he was taking this seriously, I didn't question it whatsoever. He then told me how he was getting attached and wanted to savour all of our time together before the week started.
One week later (last night) he invited me to a play he's in. He's been very quiet with me all week despite the Facebook situation last Sunday but I've tried to tell myself to stay cool especially after his gesture. On Wednesday though, it got to me. I sent him a jokey text stating "heyyy, why you quiet mister??". He told me he was simply 'busy'. The play was great, he played one of the leads and afterwards he asked if I wanted to join the cast for drinks before we went to his place.
To my confusion & horror, he was very cold with me in body language. No holding my hand, no kissing, just talking to other people, occasionally taking notice of my conversations with his friends. His friends left as we began to walk home and he began acting very odd, walking ahead of me, chuckling to himself and finally saying, "Hmmm. You.. You've been very needy this week, haven't you? I'm not sure how I feel about that"... I was stunned, appalled and humiliated. I stuttered a few words then questioned him. He continued,
"don't be clingy. I've been busy, I can't be having you clingy. You also treated me weird in the theater, you obviously think I'm a *** actor and I feel so insecure now"
I immediately cornered him, telling him how I simply went ONE message on Wednesday about how quiet he was. I reminded him how HE was the one demanding longer dates and the Facebook photo. He then devastatingly said "I think you should go home". I was broken. I'd come over 30minutes in the rain, spent on tickets and I was stuck in a town at 1am. I didn't deserve this. I pulled him to one side and demanded he tell me what was happening. He looked dazed and finally said "I'm sorry. My head is in a weird place. I want you to be mine. I want you to be my girlfriend".
I went back to his place, completely phased by the entire night, a little scared about his new behaviour towards me and finally he began to tell me how he was just feeling stressed and nervous from the play. He mentioned ever so briefly how he "gets like this" but bypassed it begging me to be in a relationship with him.
We made up, he apologised and we cuddled to sleep.. Until, I woke at 5am to..
"I'm still thinking of your behavior tonight. You were so flirty with my best friend."
At this point, I almost lost it. He got over it within ten minutes and apologised and was back to his normal self for the rest of the day. I considered running as soon as morning came but i wanted to clarify how upset & confused I was before I left. He explained all of this was insecurity with both me & his career and told me he knew he'd messed everything up with his problems. We walked to the train station as he apologised profusely, being very chilled saying he understood if I didn't want to see him again. He kissed me, held me close and said "please, give me one more chance. I know I scared you but it's cos I really like you".
I'm home now. Processing. Wondering what happened to the happy, chirpy, sincere guy I dated for the last 2 months. Concerningly, I have begun to feel things for him and today he was an angel. but this can't surely be forgiven & forgot?
