silver19

33 minutes ago, bluecastle said:

Sorry about this. 

Short answer: No, you do not just settle. In addition to being a recipe for despair, and likely divorce, it's a pretty cruel thing to do to another human and a pretty lousy model of love for a child. Switch the script and ask yourself how you would feel if you heard your partner say, "I just settled for him." Not warm and fuzzy, I'd imagine.

What you're calling your "only shot at true love," in short, is not at all what true love is. 

I'm curious to understand these past 10 years a bit better. How long was the relationship with the woman who was abusive, and when did it end? Aside from her, were there any other committed relationships? And in terms of dating, how often are you going on dates? 

I know that it would not be right to just "settle" and would be unfair to her. I did try to kindle some feelings awhile back but after 4 dates, I couldn't even bring myself to kiss her or hold her hand.

the past 10 years have just been me working on myself while trying to find love. I am not rude or possessive or anything like that. I am always proactive and after getting to know someone a bit, I offer my number or ask her out on a date. I always offer to pay for dinner/lunch and try to take an honest interest in whoever I am on a date with. I do my best but it never works out for me and all I can say is "I understand". I feel like I am not handsome enough for even the decent-looking girls, not Christian enough for the Christian girls and not interesting enough for the rest. 

I go on dates whenever I can but like I said, it usually ends with the girl saying "I am just not feeling it" or just ghosting altogether. I am at a loss and frustrated I suppose. The relationship with the abusive woman lasted about a year and a half and she got angry over things that I had nothing to do with but took that anger out on me almost every day.

HI everyone, thanks for reading.

I am 37, I have my own home, a good job and I am upfront about wanting to commit to marriage, kids and a serious relationship

All I have wanted for the past 10 years is a committed relationship but despite multiple dates and various dating services/apps, I still cannot find someone who wants to be with me. All my romantic interests eventually end with the woman saying "You're great and easy to talk to but I just don't feel it". The last woman I dated was verbally abusive.

I am in grad school and I work all day as a college advisor; I am tired of coming home to an empty house. I am tired and I feel my dream of becoming a husband and father dwindle every day.

my question is, should I just settle? There is a woman that I know would probably date me and she is great mentally but I feel no physical attraction to her. However, in times like these, I feel that she may be my only shot at true love. What should I do? 

Hi, this is my first post and I could really use some advice.

So I have been talking with this girl named Erica for the past 3 weeks or so. We met on Match.com and after exchanging some texts, we agree to meet.

the first date went great and we talked until closing and I mentioned that I'd love to meet her again.

She agrees and we set up another date a few days later. Again, things seem to be going great and she shows me photos of her work as an animal veterinarian. I pay for our meal and we head to her car. I ask if we could hold hands as I walk her (and her dog) back to her car. Before she goes, I ask for a kiss and she agrees.

I am riding high and go to bed happy. Then at 6AM, she sends me a text saying that she doesn't feel anything romantically and that she is too busy for a relationship. I don't understand the change of heart. She said it was "100% not" me and that she enjoys being single and doesn't want to put the time in for dating.

I liked her a lot and I did my best. I understand eventually finding that her feelings were not strong but why the sudden change after we kust shared a kiss? 

I am still a little heartbroken over it, please help.