moldypeach

Quick update: So even tho I told her couple of weeks ago that I dont want to be friends with her after our romantical couple of weeks, shes being persistent and even to a point of being annoying. Shes in my office every 5-10 minutes asking some random stuff she already knows the answer to. She joins me on coffee breaks and just sits with me at my table, shes inviting me to smoke breaks, shes buyin me sandwiches etc. etc. Like, should I just be mean and tell her to "fu... off"?

Thanks for reply. I do know that what I did was very wrong and unethical. And I dont expect her to change her mind, I know she wont, and I wont ask for it. Even if she would, I wouldnt accept to try again/continue what we had. She needs to get her some parts of her life in order first. Question is should I accept being friends (coffee, calls and texts and other stuff outside of work)? Think the answer was there even before I posted anything

Well he said something similar to me as well. They got married coz she was pregnant. Parents forced her into marriage and she was depresed for years. Hes also happy coz they gettin divorced and already has a new girlfriend. Its not a story shes sellin me, shes tellin how it was. But its not relevat to what I was telryin to ask. I see her switching to the other dude after me (whom she dumped after a week) more like her confusion now that she knows shes "free". She wants a guy that fits her ideal partner perfectly from A to Z so even slight deviation made her go away. Shes not a cheating type that switches guys around. Shes just confused and divorce is actually scaring her quite a lot at this point. She was tryin to find confort in me just 2 days ago when she texted me. But one thing is definitely sure, we both loved spending time with each other and it felt good. But none of it is actually important for my question coz the answer is basically always the same. *Dont go back to being friends.*

Thank you all for your replies! Much appreciated! Just to mention that her marriage was bad from the start. All 5 years of it were forced and her husbend and she never really got along and only reason why they got married was becoz she was pregnant. They were talking about divorce even before we met. So, during the time we spent together only cheating that was going on was the emotional one. It was only after they decided 100% to go along with the divorce that we started the physical relationship. Kinnda feel that was important to be said. I even met her husband (coz of some work stuff), and we actually hit it off, and we're probably gonna be communicating a lot, workwise and even like friends. (yea, I know, sounds weird as hell). Even he said, it just didnt go well between them, and he said he likes me and that I would probably be a good fit for her. (yea, its gettin weirder). I dont feel like it was a rebound thing like someone mentioned, or a classical cheating. It's more like we both tried something more in a very bad point in time, where both of us werent ready for it, but we both like each (way more than just friends. Emotional and physical attraction, it was all there.). She just has a lot on her mind with all the divorce stuff (she texted me 2 days ago askin how I was and saying that shes too scared of it and scared of what future holds and her life is gonna be). And I also had a lot on my mind (workstuff, and loss of a parent last year). But, as I can see, the best thing would be just to back off, and not accept going back to the "friendship" phase. Cut off every contact with her, apart from workstuff. Coz as I said, I do know the best thing for her is to take some time and settle her life after her husband moves out, and how shes gonna take care of her son and see how it all pans out. Last thing she needs is to think about other men. PS I also wanted to emphasize that we didnt meet in a club or something, and dated for a week or 2, (oz than I wouldnt mind anythin that was happening with us), we started all this almost a year ago. And thats why I asked for advice here, and for opinions.

Hello all, I'll try and keep it short. About a year ago (11/2020) I met this new colleague and as soon as we saw each other, there was something there. Even couple of days after we met, she already started texting me and inviting me for a coffee, even on the weekend, not just coffee breaks at work. Not every day/weekend, but quite often. And during our conversations, it was obvious that we liked each other and that we liked each other. She was married and has one child, but her marriage was not in a good state and it was only a matter of time before they divorced each other. I found about it sometimes during 4/2021 when we went out for few drinks with her friend, and she had a bit too much. She also admited that she was jelous if i was talkin to other girl colleagues and well... basically that she liked me more than just a colleage/friend. After that, we continued hanging out and texting/talking as much as we could. During whole spring and summer, but we never did anythin more than that coz she was still married (it was during that time she was talkin about it with her husband but they never had a 100% decision on it). Sometimes during 10/2021, she and her husband finally decided that they were gonna get divorced. it was only after that, that we started taking our relationship a step further. First romantic hug, first kiss, talking about our feelings and how we like spending time with each other and that were both falling in love etc. She was still married, but this time they decided 100% they were gonna split up. The romantic part of our relationship didnt really last long. It was only after 3 weeks or so, that she decided she doesnt want to continue the romantic relationship with me. The reasons behind it were some "stupid stuff" I did in those 3 weeks (it was only 2-3 thing I did that could be held against a partner, but definitely NOT a reason to split up, and definitely NOT a reason to split after spending almost whole year "together"). Next few days I tried to convince her that her reasoning is "dumb" and that shes rushing in her decision, but alas, I was not able to. So I gave up. During those few days, she already started seeing some other guy. But after few more days we met for coffee and she said she dumped the guy, and that she doesnt want to be with anyone right now coz shes undergoing the divorce, and she needs to set up her life first before trying any new romantic relationships. To be honest, I do understand, and thats a smart decision. Problem is.... after almost a year of us hanging out, we DID start something more, which ended as described above. Now she wants us to go back as it was before, but I just cant do it, coz I have feelings for her. Strong feelings that are more than friendship. I want her back (even tho I know its better for her not to try again with me, or with anyone). What is the best thing to do in a situation like this? What would you do?