Well, these will be intense for me to write.
I'm in a relationship for about 5 years,
We meet online, it was a long distance relation for about a year and despite the age gap(only 10 years but not a relevant thing) we decided to live together because we really felt that we was meant for each other.
Both of us made sacrifices for sure, but I made the must by moving to a new life, a new culture far away from my family, friends, letting behind a successful carrier and perusing my first love + relationship after 28 years of hard work and study.
When I moved in, it was magic, we really felt like we where together for more than 20years, and based on my heart and believes I immediately got focused on building a GREAT live together no matter what, my goal it was always to build a great live for us and my family.
So we was not so bad economically speaking at that time but I mean we where quite short, I need to find a job start from zero letting in a side my ambitions, take care of a house (cleaning and maintaining stuff) and still support emotionally my boyfriend, support him on his carrier and help his family to heal from previous family problems, so quite normal stuff.
So 4 years later here we're:
My boyfriend(from now on my roommate):
- Getting all my support, knowledge, time and the must of my energy to build a great business... HIS business, so he is now millionaire, has multiple properties, buy all what makes him happy, spent the must of the time doing the things that make him happy, sharing his success with friends and getting the must of his time "busy" on his business.
- He does not like to kiss me, hug me, say I love you or after 5 years give me a surprise, OR the must important he is mostly not there for me in my hard moments, or really support me in my professional development. Instead he call me dreamer, an emigrant, that I will achieve nothing in live etc etc etc.. but then I think come-on look what I helped you to build in a blink of an eye? and still working for you by free?
-Hiding his phone from me, going out almost every day for business meetings.
Me:
- Taking care mostly of my roommate(alias boyfriend) stuff without getting nothing in exchange (no love no surprises)
-Living ilegal on his house, and seeking approval for my new nationality by my own effort (5-6 years road) not his (it can be done on 2-3 years but he did not toke the initiative or actions)
-Working to make my own money (the one I use to buy my stuff and buy gifts to him and his family)
-Living apart from my family
-Grieving alone in the house after my mother passing few month ago
-Struggling emotionally, fighting to get professionally somewhere and get back on track with my ambitions
- Cleaning a mansion (because he does not want cleaning staff), making the maintenance of the house and doing the laundering.
-Still looking up at his business and other properties remo and maintenance.
-Preparing my surprises for Christmas, Valentine's day, birthdays, anniversary and yea me getting nothing of those back
So basically: My I'm boyfriend's Business manager, House keeping, problem solver, etc BY FREE, which I believe is fine when both parties get profit of it, is not about working together to give all the profit to one, that should not be the normal, right?
Conclusions: He does not give LOVE because he need FEEDOM and SPACE, he does not give me money because THANKS GOD I earn my own and because he say I live in his house without paying rent. And when I asked him to hire my company services (basically to do the same I do for FREE on his company) he say I'm just a typical emigrant looking for money, and that partners do things for free (but he does not do things for me, and his legal service I NED TO PAY IT, with discount but I NEED TO PAY IT!), but yea there is a small point WE ARE NOT LEGALLY PARTNERS, NOT MARIED neither engage, by law I'm a ghost on his live.. SO when I say I will not do nothing else for him because I'm in the need of investing my TIME on building something for me, to build a family and a real life, then he say I want that to kill him, destroy his carrier just because I'm looking for his money or that I'm envy on his success 😐, yes the one I helped to achieve DAA.
So he prefers to pay ANOTHER COMPANY to do what I do for free and not pay to my company or be really grateful of all what I have made by giving me LOVE?
After all this time I feel tired, looking how many thing I have lost on 5 years, just for being so stupid and donated 5 years of my live to my boyfriend's life believing we was building something FOR US, but is meant to be just for HIM (the one who spend 100 of thousands on stuff for himself and no 1 euro for something for me...? And then pretend to have the right to decide what I need or not to do with my money?). I truly love him, now a bit less, but I don't want to give up and move on and try to save this relation, but he does not want to change because "I broke his heart by saying all this to him", he even wants to go for professional advice. SO I think I'll move on and start again from zero now more tired and old but I mean is better now than too late, I need to try to put the full focus on my live and getting the strength to over come this situation and be a dreamer YES and get back my ambitions to build what I was mean to. NOw is time for me! Focus just on my and my family and do not look around for more partners (problems) I used to believe that in a relationship both parties invest time on each other and support each other dreams in similar percentage, but it seams to be not the case.
My boyfriend say, this is a normal situation on a relationship, that I'm the difficult one.... So before I move on and for future reference I would like to hear if this is a normal thing? because if it's the case I would really like to become a WEIRD one and turn around to a relation just with myself..... Looking for your opinions