kar0941

I do have feelings for him but I was fine with the arrangement before as well, talking throughout the week and then hanging out and hooking up on weekends. We never had a conversation about wanting more or anything so I thought everything was OK where it was which was fine with me. This is why it’s all so random/sudden that the communication would be like almost cut off right after we saw each other new year’s eve, but then he still wants to hang out and things are so good in person. It bothers me that nothing happened and there was this huge change in communication & that we hook up and he barely answers the next day when two weeks ago we would talk all day.

Right, we haven’t had an exclusivity talk yet, but based on talking to him/his friends in general I don’t think he’s going on dates with other people. Maybe talking to others, but I still don’t see why the immediate change in responses over the phone. Yes I need to talk to him since this is bothering me I just don’t want to make things awkward in the friend group.

Right that’s what is so bizarre, I really don’t know why he’s being like this, there’s actually exciting stuff going on with his family & nothing seems different about his life otherwise. It happened right after we saw each other for NYE but nothing off happened that night either & again, when we see each other in person it’s like back to our usual relationship that we’ve had over the past few months. Yes he could be seeing other people but based on when I talk to him/his friends I feel like that’s not what’s happening. I want to talk to him to get answers I just don’t want to make things weird.

So I posted about this guy like two weeks ago but I feel like more things have happened that have made me even more confused and I just need some outside advice. Basically backstory is that I started hooking up & talking to (through snapchat) one of my friend’s guy friends. This started towards the end of the summer when we were down the street from each other and then once the summer ended I moved about 40 min away and he was at his parents house. We talked through snapchat every day and got to know each other well. We’ve continued to talk through holidays/weekends where he’s been away & so on. In october we talked a little less for like a week and a half and then saw each other again and picked up right where we left off & continued to talk every day. Throughout this time he’s made comments to my friend about being interested and his friend talked to me about how he doesn’t have a lot of experience with more relationship type stuff and insinuated that id have to take control. We kept hooking up every few weeks when he was in the area and talking throughout the day until about a month and a half ago when he moved 10 min away from me. Now my roommates and his friends/roommates are all really good friends. Still talking every day & started hanging every weekend/hooking up, whether with friends or alone since he moved closer. We never went on a one on one date but things felt really good and comfortable where we were at. Then, him and his friends come over NYE. He kisses me at midnight and sleeps over. Ever since then, talking seems really off. He seems not as into it/some days are better than others but definitely a lot less talking/engaging than before. However, we’ve still hung out every weekend and things are totally normal in person. He flirts and seems really interested, remembers things i’ve told him in the past about myself and my family etc & we hung out for hours alone last weekend & it was so nice, we click really well. It’s just weird to me that the talking over the phone during the week has been so off. I know people are busy so they don’t need to have a conversation every day, but it’s just such a difference to what we were doing before and I’m really confused. Do I bring it up or just see if maybe it’s a weird time and it might blow over? I don’t want to make the friendship awkward because now all my friends are friends with him and his friends and we will be together a lot now since we live close and will be living close over the summer.

Yes I do need to figure out what I want in all of this before saying anything. But yes, what’s affecting me most is just that it seems there’s a change from him in terms of talking, less reaching out/answering than what it has been for the past few months and nothing really happened to cause it. I do reach out as well!

That’s a good point. I think I’m confused on what I want also because we were friends when we started hooking up and I wasn’t looking for anything serious which he might have picked up on so I didn’t think twice about it but now that we’ve been talking and hanging out for a few months now I have feelings but I don’t know 100% what I want. I don’t like the inconsistency though. I’m just nervous about saying something or showing a lot more interest because we are in a bigger friend group so I don’t want things to get weird.

I was going to do that this week but he became a little distant and different after he left the morning after so I haven’t been able to bring it up again yet.

So I think the red flags things was his was of asking our friend if I was interested. You ask good questions, I have been asking myself the same stuff which I guess is the biggest problem, I’m not really sure what I want. I wasn’t looking for anything serious but now that we’ve been hooking up and talking for a while I think I’ve obviously caught feelings, but still confused on what I want, which is why I’ve been reluctant to have a more serious convo with him.

So I got out of a long term relationship last December. Over the summer I was hanging with my friends at our beach house. They have a group of guy friends from their hometown that I had met two summers ago but started hanging out more with everyone this past summer when I was single. Towards/middle end of the summer one of the guys said to a few of my friends that he was excited to see me the following weekend. That weekend comes & we exchange numbers and he kisses me. We slept in the same bed later that weekend but never went further than kiss. Two weekends later we are back at the beach and we hook up again. Then the last two weekends of the summer we hang out/hook up and sleep together every night. Summer ends and we start snap chatting every day, mostly all day. He lives about 1 hour away from me at home. We don’t see each other for a month but talk every day and then we see each other after a month and things are great. Things continue to be good, getting along really well, talking a lot (over snapchat) but no dates. I wasn’t really looking for anything serious so I didn’t think much about it. Middle of October we are all drinking together and the guy asks one of my friends if I see any red flags regarding him. Towards end of October/beginning of Nov I was hanging out with one of his best friends (he wasn’t there) who asked what’s going on with us and said that the guy has never been in a relationship and might need to be pushed to make more of a move, which I said wasn’t really my style. I do know that he deals with anxiety and some mental health issues. So things continued how they were, snap chatting throughout the day/or mostly after the work day was over. Then in December, he moved to the same city as me, about a 10 min drive away. Since then we’ve seen each other every weekend (still not on a date) but him and his roommate will come over and then he’ll stay at my place the whole night or he’s invited me to his place. When he stays over it’s super comfortable and we have a great time and he stays in the morning to talk. We were together for NYE where we kissed at midnight and then he stayed over again. While we were going to bed he joked around that he doesn’t get a lot of girls and I probably get a lot of guys. I was drunk so kinda just laughed it off and didn’t continue the conversation. Since that night he’s been a lot more distant and I feel like vibes are off. It’s only been a few days but we haven’t talked much and when we do it just feels kinda bland. I like him and I want to keep talking and seeing each other and maybe go on a date but I’m not sure if i’m reading into this too much or if he’s actually interested?