My boyfriend of 1 month. Dating for 2 months prior. The day he asked me to be his GF, that same night he mentions that now he can introduce me to everyone and especially his best friend because she’s been dying to meet me. I said “she?, what friend is this?, He said yes his best friend of over 20 years. I said we been talking for over 2 months and you never brought her up before. His response was that “because she is real special to him and he can’t wait for me to meet her.
We were at a Thanksgiving party with his family so i didn’t make a big deal out of it. So a few days later we were talking on the phone and it kept vibrating and he tells me he has to call me back. When he does, he’s driving and he tells me that he is on his way to meet up with his best friend at her hotel, because her and her husband are having issues and she left the house and wanted some advice. It was like 10pm. I told him I felt completely uncomfortable with that. He claimed he was going to meet her at the bar in the hotel to just talk, and not go into the room.
I told him that it bothers me and he said that i’m just insecure and why don’t i trust him and that he is not going to stop meeting up with her because she is his best friend and i have no right to tell him who he can and cannot hang out with. That he is a grown 39 year old man and he is not looking to play games or be with someone that cannot trust him and acts insecure. He says that I need to accept that he had a life before me and that he isn’t going to change anything.
He then tells me that he spoke with her and told her our business and that me and him had a disagreement about them hanging out and she told him to tell me that she would love to meet me to explain that they are just friends. My response was that I have no interest to meet her. Aside from this, she also goes to his house with her 2 yr old son, like 2-3 times a week to “hang out” and play cards. They also share a Netflix and Hulu account together.
About a week ago, her car broke down on the highway and he left work early to go pick her up and help her boost her car. I told him why didn’t she have her husband (they got back together) help her. Why does she need you to go drive one hour to go help her. He tells me again to stop with my insecurity and he was just helping a friend. I told him that it is completely inappropriate and her husband should be the one getting her. He says that her husband has no issue with them hanging out alone and I need to get over my insecurities and stop creating stories in my head.
Long story short i went off on him and told him that clearly she is a priority for him and it looks like she will always come before me and I broke up with him. A week later we did end up talking things out and he ended up apologizing and we got back together. Fast forward to yesterday.
Yesterday we were texting about our day and he told me that he had no plans for the evening. So i call him later that night and i hear a kid in the background and i asked him if that was the TV, and he said no it was his friends son, and i said what friend, his response was his best friend came over and he’ll call me back when they leave.
He calls me back 4 hours later, I was like so she was there for 4 hours. I told you I don’t feel comfortable with you two hanging out alone and why did he lie and say that he had no plans that day when clearly he had plans to hang out with her. He claims that they were pretty much talking about me the whole time and that she was asking when is she going to meet me.
His last text to me that night was to stop overreacting and being insecure and that he didn’t tell me she was coming over because he wasn’t trying to argue. I never texted back. He texted me good morning today and I never responded and haven’t heard from him since.
I was hoping to get some clarity and guidance because I really like him and aside from this, he is really an amazing person, his family is amazing and we all get along so well and I would like a future with him but I don’t trust that relationship with this woman he only brought up once we were official. It seems like he now, is going to hang out with her and lie about it, and whenever I tell him that it bothers me he calls me insecure. And i don’t think it has to do with being insecure. It bothers me and he shouldn’t be hanging out alone with another female.
His birthday is Thursday, and I had such amazing things planned for us to do that day. And we were going to spend New Years with my family but after yesterday i kind of am upset and idk if I even want to spend his bday with him or have him meet my family on new years. Am I overreacting?
