While I’ve been seeing someone exclusively for several months and generally have been happy in the relationship, I’m getting a nagging feeling that this person has only one foot in the relationship. Here’s why I say this:
he’s been divorced for only 3 years after 34 year marriage. When I asked why the divorce he tells me his ex wasn’t happy but it had nothing to do with sex or money.
I know he keep in regular contact with this ex and he spent thanksgiving with her at the home he gave her in the divorce (which was the home they shared for many years) with their adult kids and met the parents of his sons girlfriend. They took a picture and there he was standing right behind his ex like the other husbands.
then he tells me he, his ex and kids are invited to a wedding out of state in New Orleans in March and “he feels bad but he can’t invite me because it will be too uncomfortable”. Really isn’t it weird he is going with his ex out of state to a wedding? I told him there’s only room for 2 of us in this relationship and he seemed to sympathized but no plans changed. At that point we’d be together more than 6 months.
he also tells me he’s telling his adult kids about me but I don’t think he did but he did tell me he told his ex about me….why??
he was supposed to make plans for me to meet his kids…but no plans.
he has introduced me to some of his friends but that’s it.
I haven’t been introduced to his brother either although he tells me he told the brother about me.
I make him dinners weekends and he never asks to bring any wine or anything and he comes empty handed. I always bring him something when I go to his place.
Then he met my kids yesterday and while checking out if the restaurant he looks at me and says “you got this right” so I paid for everyone’s dinner including his. Afterwards we went to a sports game and while he never offered to buy anyone water including me after paying for his dinner he pulls out breadsticks from his pocket a few times and never offers it to anyone.
he does generally pay when we do go out for dinner but that doesn’t happen often. He tells me he is financially well off and only lives in the one bedroom apartment since the divorce and wants to live somewhere nicer “because he can afford it”. But meanwhile the apartment is bare. I’m financially well settled and live in a valuable home and he tells me that “between the 2 of us we can live very nicely”.
Is this guy just using me? He is very nice but I keep thinking he has one foot out of this relationship and stuck in his prior marriage.
