This person and I met about 3 years ago on Tinder. We had this amazing chemistry and had funny and great conversations via text. I kind of delayed meeting up with him in person because I got my heartbroken only recently before I registered on Tinder and he would have been my first Tinder date. He still kept contact in about 2 month later we met and it was all I could have wished for. The chemistry was just mind-blowing. We hooked up, which I definitely did not intend to do on the first date but things can happen. I was still not a hundred per cent over that other person and again delayed meeting up with him. Every time we met, it was just perfect. After a couple of dates and hooking up again, he even asked me if we are no officially a thing. I did not know how to react and made a little bit fun of him. We kept in touch but due to both our lives being rather busy, we did not meet up again and to be honest I was not ready for him because I was still licking my wounds.
When I thought I was ready, I reached out to him again and he let me know that he found someone and is now happily in a relationship. I wished him well and did not contact him again.
At the beginning of this year, he sent me a LinkedIn request and that was it. This October I saw that he had a birthday and send him a very short happy birthday message on LinkedIn. He immediately replied on Linkedin and at the same time sent me a text saying that he still has the same number. We texted quite a bit and he asked if we could meet up for a drink. That evening was so great and we continued our conversations as if they had never stopped. I asked him if he was still in a relationship and he told me yes, but that they are having major problems and it looks like it will end. He tried to make a move but I told him that as long as he is in a relationship nothing would happen between the two of us. He needs to sort out his situation. He as his girlfriend kind of had a stalker, who would send anonymize emails and letters to both of them and saying that both of them are cheating. His girlfried was apparently always very jealous and there had lots of issues.
We then met up again and it as so great but he was still with the other woman. Then a week later, he told me that it is probably better not to see each other before he knows what is going on in his current situation.
A week later, he told me that they both ended their relationship and that even though he initiated it, he feels very down and depressed. We texted back and forth and a week after his relationship ended we met up again and hooked up, which now I know was a big mistake but it is just this amazing chemistry between us every time we meet.
After that, he rather stopped imitating conversations over text and a week later, I asked him how he was doing because he became so distant and quite. He then replied that if he is honest with me the end of the relationship affects him more then he would have thought and that it has nothing to do with me, or the fact that we hooked up again. He is very sorry for being so passive. I then replied that I understand, that I hope he feels better soon and that I am sorry that I was so overly active with texting him. He replied that there is nothing to be sorry about and that he also hopes that he feels better soon. It now has been a week without any contact.
My question to you now is, whether I should reach out again to him in a week or so to ask him how he was doing or if I should let it go. I really really like him and we just have this amazing chemistry together. It is just that the timing never seems to be right.
Some people say I should reach out and some say I should let it go. He just used me as a rebound. Isn’t it that if a guy really like you, he would chase you and that men don’t like to be chased by women?
Thank you so much for your advice on this. For context I am 34 (F) and he is 30 (M).
