Hello hope you can help. So......im quite embarrassed by this and really want to work through this. So i turned 31 in October. Currently a sales advisor on a low income wage. Starting in the new year im wanting to change my career, retrain into a longer lasting better financially career as im seeking my own Independence. Growing up ive always kept my self to myself which hasn't done me any good and while i have the opportunity to change i want too. I currently lodge at home with my parents but in doing so ive almost got the amount needed for a deposit for a house. However my current job will not sustain a mortgage hence change of career.
Im also seeking a relationship with someone as i want that someone special in my life, however subconsciously or weather this is actually happening i feel my situation is putting people off wanting to date or have a relationship with me. I feel like they feel i "should have things in order by now" but they cant see im working towards that.
I also have my own anxieties which ive been getting counselling for. But ive not had many relationships before and......still a virgin. Im anxious that if i get into a serious relationship, i fear having sex in case things go wrong and a un planned pregnancy occurs. Which in turn ruins my career opportunities, never been able to have the home ive always wanted and not financially stable. Meaning in my mind i shouldn't have a relationship until im financially secure which could be 3 year away.
Now this probably sounds drastic thinking, but its how i think and really embarrassed to share it with anyone for feeling judged. but im going around in circles with it and it must come across to people that im meeting for coffee dates.
Hopefully someone could give me an insight into what im thinking, am i being rational, am i not. Am i over thinking things or shouldn't i worry about it.
Any advise or support would be most appreciated!
Many Thanks
Thank you for your advise! its really given me an eye opener. I have considered renting but feel it would only be worth it if i was share renting. As renting on your own is the same or more than a mortgage. I do want my current living situation to be temp, but im welcomed at home as long as i need. This gives me the best advantage to save as much as possible, allowing me to retrain, so that once my career comes together id be able to get my own place. I also want a relationship but worry things will hinder my plans.