Wiz

I know I'll probably sound like the typical sob, but it never really felt like a fantasy to me; I was simply happy to have her in my life. I wasn't in love with some false image of her, we've known each other at least a decade. We both deeply missed each other after she'd leave, but I was always content to just be able to spend time with her whether it was in person or not and tell her I love her. And we spent as much time together as we could. I realize now that that might have been part of the issue; I was just way too complacent. Even if she won't take me back I do want to make those six years up to her somehow. I also plan to keep chugging along as best I can, don't worry.

Yes, she was very patient and I'm extremely grateful she even bothered waiting as long as she did. And where I've recently moved to was a bigger metropolitan area with decent public transportation so I'm currently applying for a lot of jobs. Thank you; you take care of yourself as well.

Well, I like to think I'm pretty personable. I have a lot of really long time close friends who seem to care about me a lot, so they probably see something in me that's worth keeping around whatever that might be. I've been told I'm very loving; when I had income I used most of it to take care of others. Apparently I'm handsome as well, but I'm not sure where people get that from.

There were multiple instances of my family and I getting ready to move and we would have been significantly closer to where she lived and that would have made things easier. But those plans kept falling through. I suppose I still found a miracle though; I'm blessed to have friends willing to take me in and help me. I guess I'm just a little slow on the draw.

I was mainly staying with family to take care of them. We live pretty remotely without any real means of transportation. I've wanted to work for a long time but I never felt right leaving my family. That's not really an excuse though, I've had the opportunity to do this for a while and should have just done it. And I never expected her to support me financially; she's offered me money before but I've always refused. I'm going to do this regardless, but if it can help our relationship at the same time then all the better.

Fiance of 6 years dumped me about a week ago. My appetites just starting to come back but I keep waking up to panic attacks. We were pretty close and friends for a good while before we got together, the main conceit of our relationship though is that we were practically a continent apart. She had a job and was able to visit me twice during our relationship for about a week at a time. I'm so grateful I got to spend with her and truly appreciate everything she's ever done. When we were together like that I felt we were both truly happy; I'd trade it for the world. The other issue aside from the distance was my living situation and how my life was going. During our entire relationship I was only employed once for a 3 month period and was unable to find work where I was after that. So, I had no money to visit her or buy her gifts for her birthday or Christmas or anything. I felt awful about it and still do, but I felt I had to stay where I was to help family. She'd been saving for a while to get me to come where she lived and earn citizenship through marriage but the one time we got close I was detained and deported at the border for not having enough funds to be able to live on my own if I crossed. So, I was sent back home and we were both heart broken. I got back home and sat around for about 3 years hoping for some miracle to happen, doing nothing with my life. We stayed together that much longer, bless her heart. But I was dragging her through the worst years of my ***ing life and I was mostly clueless of how much that might actually be hurting her. So, last week she breaks up with me. Tells me she can't wait around for me anymore and that we're both making each other worse people for it. Says she never wants to stop being friends and that I make her happy, and that she loves me and cares about me, but has refused to say those things since. She's been talking to me still, but being extremely distant and doesn't want to call me. I don't really blame her for any of this, I doubt it was easy for her to do that. I'm just confused. Everyday I want to tell her I love her more than anything, but I feel like I'm violating her if I do that. I asked her if I was able to get my *** together and get to her if we could have a second chance together. And she more or less said maybe but not to get my hopes up. Few days after we split I moved in with a friend and left my only family behind to try and start some kind of life for myself. I made a resume and I've applied to a handful of jobs so far, just waiting to hear back. I just hope she doesn't see this as me moving past her because suddenly she's not my "meal ticket" out of the ***ty life I had. I don't care where she's at or how much money she has. I just want to be with her regardless of where or how well we could live. I love her, and hope she's able to be happy, even if that happiness doesn't involve me. I just find it really hard to imagine my life without her as my fiance, or hell, my wife. But, do you think there's a chance for us to reconcile and start our relationship up again? My current goal is to save up enough money to go and see her this time if she's comfortable with that.