ShopLady

For the last month we’ve been apart. He’s been so incredibly distant with me. We’ve talked over text everyday, and maybe only seen each other twice in the last month. We’ve had our issues, but I really think there are other things going on in his life that he’s dealing with. I always text first now, he responds. But he never texts me first anymore. We’ve had some fights and disagreements lately. All I want is for him to tell me what’s really going on. I have been patient with him, I have been there for him, I’ve been supportive to him. He hasn’t been there for me. I text him because I am genuinely worried about him. He hasn’t been himself. I want him to know that someone cares for him. He stopped paying attention to me. I feel like he stopped caring about me. I feel alone. He’s blocked me in the past. If he really doesn’t want to talk to me, why doesn’t he just do that again? I’m tired of being the one to reach out. What will happen if I just stop contacting him? Just completely stop. Will he reach out, or will he block me and move on?

I’m really tempted to text him something simple like, “I hope you had a good day”, just so he knows I haven’t forgotten him. We’ve talked over text everyday since this happened. But everything tells me to leave him alone and if he wants to talk to me, he’ll contact me. He’ll be the one to reach out. I know that’s true. I am tired of being the one to care. It’s so frustrating!!!

What if I meet someone else first? Because honestly, I have a good mind to just give up on him.

I know I’m not his girlfriend. But I feel so hurt and heartbroken. I know he lead me on made me think there’s note there than what actually is. I know you’re right, but my heart and rational side tell me two different things.

No, I’m not doing that. If he wants me, he can come to me.

Instead of playing hurry-up-and-wait with him, let him miss you That’s exactly why I was wondering about the contact. We have been minimally texting everyday. But curious about what would happen if it were less than that. Just for space.

I agree, but I also think he’s thinking about what he wants, and that’s what he’s unsure of. He could very well only want a companion. He could also just not know entirely about anything with us, rather than him being unsure of me. This is iffy and can go either way. He’ll either decide that he wants me in his life, or have me out of it. I understand this is all him. I simply asked what he wanted and his feelings. I initially asked for time and space. However, I came around and reached out to him when I felt ready and he has not. This is also why I’m only giving him one more week. That’s plenty of time. This current time has already been plenty. I don’t honestly know what he’s thinking. I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt here.

Well, I thought he was crazy about me. I just assumed he felt the same way I did about him. I do want a true love relationship. But part of me is interested to find out if it will go that way with him. In reality, it probably won’t. He knows how much that hurt me to hear. I think he feels badly about it. I agree he’s thinking about whether he wants to continue the companionship. I would also think that if he cares in the least about me, he’ll reach out in some capacity and talk whether good or bad. As I have said in previous posts to this, I’m only giving him another week before I have to move on. I shouldn’t even give him that. I should have dropped him when he said I wasn’t his girlfriend. It’s just ridiculous that this is happening in the first place.

When he does communicate, he says things like he’s taking some time to think about things. He sent me a message the other day saying that he is doing some soul searching. I think my asking him those questions about what he wants and how he feels scared him a bit because I don’t think he has ever had to really confront them before. On the other hand, we have been together only a short time (about 7 months). That’s why I’m only giving him another week or so to reach out. I want him to understand that unless he talks to me, I’m pretty well done. The fact that he’s “thinking about things” might be a good sign, it could be a bad one. I told him yesterday to reach out when he feels ready to talk. The ball is in his court. I think I have told him all I can.

We have talked since this happened. Briefly and only over text. Just to check in with each other. I have expressed to him a couple of times that I want him to really think about what he wants. Do you think it’s best that we not communicate until and unless he comes around? Or is it okay just to send a quick text like “how are you?” Or “how is your day going?” We didn’t go no contact. How much contact is acceptable in this situation and how often? I don’t want to push him away more, but I also don’t want him thinking that by not contacting him at all, I’ve moved on so why bother reaching out? I really haven’t encountered the “needing space” thing before in relationships, so I want to do this right because I do want him to come around.

I want to go, but don’t because of this. It’s best I not. Not unless we’ve managed to talk about stuff by then.

No, I just felt he would distance himself further if I put a time limit on it.

I’d like to go to the concert, but I agree it’s not the best idea if we haven’t talked by then. It can make it very awkward for both of us. I don’t really want to be alone at the concert and none of my friends can make it.

This has been going on for almost 2 weeks now. I think waiting one more week is all I’m willing to give him. We haven’t been together long and he is being a bit immature, I think. I asked him what he wanted and how he felt and he has yet to reach out to me. He doesn’t know what he wants, and in some ways, that’s okay. But he should at least tell me that. Although, he doesn’t have to because it’s clear by this time apart that he doesn’t know.

I tried to tell him how long I was willing to wait and he got upset. That’s why I decided to back off and tell him to take the time he needs.

No, I didn’t mean it. However, I also don’t want to put a time frame on it because I thought that would push him away even further. Hopefully he’ll take a reasonable amount of time, I mean a few more days or a week at the longest. Not months. I’m not going to give him much time before I move on.

I know it’s best to just leave him alone and not wait around for him. I appreciate the good advice you all have given me. If he comes around, he does. If not, then he doesn’t. I simply asked him what he wanted and how he feels and he can’t even give me an answer. I feel I deserve to know this. There’s something else, too. He and I arranged to meet in a couple of weeks at a concert out of state. This was before the incident. I also have to fly across the country to visit my daughter the day after the concert. I want to ask him if he still wants to meet up because that will determine where I fly out of. I’m not going to the concert if I have to be there by myself.

Me and my boyfriend agreed to take some time apart. We had a falling out two weeks ago and we haven’t seen each other since. We have talked though. I originally asked for time and space. He needs it too. When I was ready I reached out to him and he asked for more time. Basically, he doesn’t really know what he wants and is asking for time to think about things. I’m okay with that. Just yesterday he said he needs more time, but I’m not going to wait forever. I told him to take as much time as he needs. But is it okay for me to ask him how much more time he needs, or just leave it alone? Time apart doesn’t always mean you broke up. Sometimes it’s good in a relationship and can actually strengthen it. What happened was that we never really established where things are at with us. I just assumed I was his girlfriend. I asked him a couple weeks ago what I am to him. He said I’m a “companion.” This really hurt me and I told him I wanted time and space, but I’m ready to talk and he isn’t. How much more time is honestly reasonable?