Back Story:
We met 3 Years ago she came to visit me for 2-3 Weeks and she got pregnant.
After that we were planning for her to come over here for 2 years but she put something in her head that she will be tortured by my family, based on one instance in the past and her paranoia and her mind set destroyed that. After kid was 1 year old and she wanted child support for past, and future. Now everything is clean i gave her everything she wanted, but now she doesn't want me to be in her nor Childs life. I visit her few times at different locations FYI. She is type of person that is so weird in her ways, if its not her way its not right way and its a mistake. I did mess up few things that i corrected, such as I bought her a ticket from one location but and after I had to change it which costed me money but it was fixed. Anyways any mistake is accounted for and no way to forget about that mistake. Right now she has 10 things that go in circle and she keeps punishing me for.
Answer for show her my dark side: I was depressed at her house not talking and being curled up in myself because I was unhappy being at awkward situation in different country, no language, tight money, so I meant she saw me depressed and down. I just couldn't snap out of it. She accused me and said to my mom, that i was using pills with alcohol. I brought Advil PM for airplane and Benadryl for allergies, because for 20 years my nose gets stuffy and she is you don't know why you take allergy pills? That's why you are down and don't speak properly because you are doing that. I swear i don't! She made her story and that's it.
Regarding custody, Yeah child is hers, I got served papers by court, which my lawyer is on vacation until mid Sept. which i have to talk to him first. I can get visitation rights, but it will be expensive and i am saving money for that. Guy's you have to understand in Europe child support is around 700$ plus she wants me to pay for baby sitter and kindergarten. So that's another full story that's going on but until it comes to that it will take few months.
For child support lawyer said consider the child is hers, you can see the kid, but you have to be on good terms with the mother, or if she doesn't let you see the kid we will go through the law and get you time slots. But its a hassle because in US we get 2 weeks vacation so it will have to be timed well.
I don't know how can I squeeze this story in to be short and coherent but pretty much, I have to bother her all the time asking her for child, and when can she show me facetime, and so on. which is so much stress, and every time i ask her she gives me piece of her mind.
So, in conclusion: I don't know if i can be a man for her, since she needs totally opposite guy of me. She doesn't understand me and she doesn't allow me to be myself. She makes up harsh stories about me to my family and will use it against me on the court. She is boarder line psycho woman, (To me to others she is angel). I want to make it right for the kid to have a father rather than some other guy to kiss my child. She makes everything difficult. I am trying for 1 year to make it friendly and nice but last resolution was for me to drop everything and move to Europe to live with them. I couldn't find job in 8 days, I couldn't adjust in 8 days, I didn't help her out the way she imagined around the house, I tried to do everything i could but still. She accused me to drink bottle of wine and 4 beers. She made our date night, She drank half the bottle, and i was let me drink few more beers. Now I am alcoholic and drug addict. SO ridiculous.
Well this is the end point of the story: If i don't make it right I will be by myself and kid, She will make it so hard for me to see the kid. She wants the kid hers and DAD will be villager and *** up. She will drain me when it comes to money and she did but in her eyes I DIDNT GIVE HER ANYTHING. I can make a list that i was fair but no in her eyes i am ***up and *** and worst human being. She made me search for myself because she made me so insecure and destroyed. She doesn't get it depression comes from her and her deeds but anyways. I loose the kid, I loose her, I loose chance of family life, I lost a job, I lost all friends and now i am back to square 1 and build my life again. I know she is toxic both me and her together, but i feel we can make it work even though 4-5 times we had the same fights and we ended back together but in deeper hole. I want to see from your perspective whether we shouldn't be together and stop trying or fight for the family but it will be on my expense I will have to change 180 degrees. When do you throw the towel and say enough is enough. I lost and move on. Forget about the kid, if she gives you time to see him treat it as a holiday and move on. I am just destroyed right now and in deep depression because of loosing them. I had idea of them but she is someone that will never let us be happy.