I've been in a complicated with this girl, S, for around 2 months. The whole time, she's been dating this other guy, K, however he is OK with her getting with other guys. So S and I started off as friends, then friends with benefits, and then we got emotionally attached to each other. It was complicated and we had to deal with how to move forward. I get jealous with her dating K and I place a lot of self-worth on my relationships with friends, and even more so with girlfriends. So even though S and I got together after she and K did, I still feel like I'm not worth much to her. Additionally, she hooked up with my best friend once. I made it clear after that I wasn't cool with him hooking up with her, and he didn't again (at least not for a while)
That being said, in the middle of our first big complication (where we had no idea what to do next), my best friend texts me that he is going to hook up with S again. I got pissed, argued with S about other things, and decided to end it with both of them. I couldn't deal with a "friend" who was that douchey. I didn't really blame her too much because I didn't outright tell her but it still stung a lot.
After about 2 weeks, S and I started texting again and basically got back to where we ended things but during our break she decided to stop having FWB and just do a closed relationship. We set some boundaries for each other and planned to try being just friends again. It didn't work, and literally the next time we saw each other we couldn't stop ourselves from making out. A few days later, we hooked up and we said we loved each other (she said it first, I said it back) and later she said it wasn't true, it was heat of the moment. It got really complicated after that as we are back to where we were before, not sure of what to do. We could either try stop talking again (Which would be rough for both of us), we could try keeping it how it is (ie some weird unofficial dating thing) or actually make it official.
Last night we decided to try to go official, which is going to be rough because she will have two boyfriends and I don't really play well with other guys. Her BF is a nobody and I've seen him maybe twice in 3 months, so I don't really have to think about him too much.
I don't know if I should end it with her and find someone who cares more for me, or if I should move forward like how I feel I want to. I'd feel bad for her if I ended it because she said she got close to committing suicide last time. I don't think she is trying to be manipulative like how it might seem, she has always struggled with depression and self harm even during our high peaks.
In my mind, the best solution would be for her to break up with her boyfriend and it just be her and me, but she doesn't want to. I haven't actually outright asked her but I brought it up every so often.
