Namrepus5000

4 hours ago, abitbroken said:

If there is a silver lining - you don't own a home together. There is no "don't leave, because you will lose the house" thing. You will both lose the apartment at the end of the lease.  I still would not leave to keep the kids routines the same for now until you establish everything.   You don't want to go live with a friend and make it easy for her to get 100% physical custody.  Set up custody groundrules about the kids not being able to stay with a boyfriend, etc, though.

You're absolutely right, thank god we did not buy a property. I'm staying home until the parental time sharing and responsibility is signed. I will mention that to boyfriend item to my lawyer, thank you for your feedback. 

5 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

I am sorry, but she looks at your marriage as a convinience. I think its very telling she asked about appartment lease and if you wanted to stay for that. She is an opportunist. That took advantage how you took care of kids while she could go to company trips over weekend and do whatever she wants. Hence why there is no shame about what she did, because in her head she see you as a roomate/nanny that she doesnt have to pay. And not as a husband. In a situations like that, its good that you moved on to divorce. It sucks right now, and its not good for kids, but you will be happier away from that person. 

I would have preferred if she asked me to be a roommate and stay separated. Our sex life was still active despite our issues. 2 days ago, before I found out, she told me that she loved me and missed me, we had drinks in the kitchen which led us to having sex. Which only makes me feel more disgusted and devastated. 

8 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this happened. You both know the marriage has been over for a long time and you have were just together for convenience.

Make sure you get a good arrangement for custody/visitation and child support.

Even though you must hate her by now, you'll have to find a way to co-parent for the sake of your kids.

Yes, this will be a learning process. Thank you for your message. 

9 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

I'm very sorry, OP. 

It sounds like you finally got the irrefutable proof that your marriage is indeed over. I can see why you're extremely hurt, and your wife is an ass. You have done the right thing by finally moving towards divorce. 

For now, keep to your separate quarters at home as much as possible. Is there at least another place you can sleep, if you can't leave the home right now? I would not advise sharing a bed with her. Maybe you could spend a weekend with a close friend or family member, just to get some breathing space? Take your girls out for a bit, or even take them for a Daddy-Daughter weekend somewhere so you can away from your wife without raising their concern just yet? 

Yes there is another room I'm sleeping in. I'm planning to take the girls to my parents house for the weekend. I have a call with the lawyer today. 

Thank you for your feedback.

5 years together, 4 years married, 2 daughters. Lots of issues along the way, never an easy ride. We are 100% incompatible, but our daughters and physical chemistry kept us together. We had been talking about divorce for a while but our apt lease is up for renewal and she asked if I wanted to stay and renew it. I thought it would be a great opportunity to try counseling (again). We both admitted to have feelings for each other.

Last Saturday she returned from a work trip, very tired and slept the whole day. Didn't even say hello to our girls. She also did not communicate the night before and I found it suspicious. Today I checked her phone and found concrete evidence that she met a guy there and they partied. Lots of "you look beautiful, you're so handsome and can't wait to see you again" messages. 

I flipped out, confronted her and she kept denying cheating. I was flabbergasted to see her attitude, not an ounce of shame or guilt. On the other hand, I am shaking. 

I just emailed my lawyer to make the filing asap. I'm devastated. Can look at my girls without wanting to cry, while their mom just walks around with a deadpan face. 

My job is remote, so I'm 100% of the time at home, I also take care of the girls 90% of the time while she's out in the office. I have no idea how I'm going to tolerate the time between now and the day I can finally move out. Leaving is not an option since it would jeopardize my time with the girls. I feel like I'm going nuts, my job is demanding and the girls need attention and care. I don't know how I'm going to cope having to see her face for many weeks until the legal side is done and I arrange a place to leave. 

Can anyone advice please?