Hello all,
I am brand new here. Just writing to try and get some feedback/vent about a recent issue and would love if anyone could offer some advice or can share from similar experiences, as I'm having a real hard time dealing with it.
So about 3 weeks ago, I met this girl online and we had an instant connection. Started chatting back and forth on the app and soon after got her number and we began to text every day (some flirtiness but mostly just casual chat and getting to know each other etc)
We went on our first date a few days later (this would be about 2.5 weeks ago). Amazing date, we both really connected well. A few days later we went on our second date and same thing. I am only saying this for context but there was light physical action on both dates (no sex). She texted me when she got home after second date (we live about 45 min away) and said she had a great time. She said that she was into me but needed to take it slow because she said she'd been hurt before and didn't want to freak herself out or scare me away etc. To which I told her I totally understood and respected and she seemed to be very pleased that we were on the same page with that.
Flash forward a few days later she found out one of her college friends died suddenly. So I tried to cheer her up and we went for a hike and stuff and she seemed to have a great time. Continued talking all through that week. This is where it gets a little weird.
She left for a bachelorette party over last weekend, to which we didn't really text much over that weekend (again, we had basically been texting every day for a majority of the day), which was fine. I didn't really think much of it because I figured she was with her friends and didn't really want to bother her etc. I texted her last Sunday evening just saying hope her weekend was going well and that she was having fun...
Monday morning (just two days ago) she sends me a text saying I'm a great guy and wishes me well etc but that she had been thinking about it over the weekend and that I'm not the guy for her? While the text seemed genuine and respectful, I felt kind of blindsided. I was really upset after receiving the text so I just texted back that I understood (even though I really don't) and thanks for letting me know. We haven't talked since (it's only been 48 hours) but are still friends on social media and stuff. Here's where my confusion lies:
She truly seems like a great girl and we have had a lot of fun together and similar interests and on same page with a lot of stuff. She even said she liked me but wanted to take it slow. Am I wrong to think that I deserved an actual chance to do that? Seems like she cut the cord very early with what seemed to be a lot of promise.
I feel shortchanged because we both like each other and I told her I was more than willing to take it slow but it seemed like she pulled a 180 and didn't even give me that chance. Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this? Maybe my emotions are still kind of raw but I'm just really upset and this just happened 2 days ago so it's still fresh. Am I wrong to be upset that she told me she was into me and wanted to take things slow and then she pulled the carpet from beneath me and didn't give me a chance?? How do you know 3 dates into it that I'm not "the guy" for you but yet she's also saying she likes me?
Theres a bit of an age gap (I'm 5 years older than her) but I don't think it has to do with maturity. My gut tells me what she told me may not even be the true reason. I feel like maybe she's not ready for a relationship or something and doesn't want to get hurt. Maybe her feelings are conflicted? I'm not sure.
Even though her text seemed pretty final, I just feel in the back of my mind she's conflicted and is going to reach out to me again. Again, this just happened 48 hours ago and I'm trying to move forward and jump back into the dating scene, but if anyone has had similar experiences to share or even better if any females on here could maybe help me understand what could be going through her head, any feedback would be appreciated. I just felt it would be good to write out my feelings. Thank you!
