liliumvon

Hello everyone! This is my first time posting something like this but I feel absolutely lost and confused... We've been having issues with my boyfriend for the past month, he struggles with depression and got fired about 6 weeks ago. I took another job to be able to pay bills while he finds another job. He told me about his depression 3 weeks ago and I told him we should get some help, do some couples therapy, meditate, etc. Every time I'd tell him to meditate or journal he looked like he didn't want to do it and annoyed but we always did it and it was good. Last week I had to get an emergency surgery on my stomach, have to do 2 week rest and special diet. I can't laugh, talk too much and let alone walk so after our 2 night stay at the hospital we got home, he took care of me, my mom went to our house to do some meal-prep so he didn't have to worry about cooking and everything was looking OK. Tuesday night I asked him how we was doing, if he still was feeling numb and if he know if he wants to keep this relationship or not, I got silence. He came by me 20 minutes after and apologized and told me he was going to go lay down. Wednesday afternoon he broke up with me after I asked him why was he looking up abroad opportunities and not sharing. He told me he couldn't do it anymore, I begged him to stay and we would seek help and therapy together but he didn't show any emotions, he just didn't care, no sadness, no tears.. NOTHING! My mom picked me up and he left before she got there, he said he didn't want to see her. I could barely move and walk to the car but my mom helped me out. Thursday morning I reached out and told him hey I love you, let's get through this and he said NO, he blocked my mom, deleted everything about me from his social media and basically deleted me from his life like I didn't ever exist. I'm so sad and confused, I don't understand how someone can leave the person they loved so much, the "love of their life" when they most need them. I'm so angry that I can't cry because of my surgery, I cried that day and I'm in such horrible pain because of that, it hurts like hell to swallow my sadness and tears. I can't wait to be healthy again to cry and get all this pain out of my system. I don't understand how he can be so heartless and cold, it's like he doesn't love me and care for me now or never, not even in our best times.