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punkrock17

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  1. I know you are right. I know that it's almost impossible to be just friends with a guy. All of the guys that I am friends with now have tried to date me or sleep with me at some point.
  2. He is never black out drunk or belligerently drunk. He Ubers even if he has one drink, which is every day. I don't know if one drink in a day qualifies as alcoholism, but I think he drinks a lot. For context, we are both bartenders, so I guess it is part of the job description to drink.
  3. It sounds like you are being really caring and attentive and he continues to blow you off saying that he is busy with school work. For me, if I really like someone, I will make time to talk to them every day. Or, if I'm too busy, I will send them a quick text saying that I am really busy that day but I am still thinking about them. I think that it's possible that he might not be that into you and he is trying to let the relationship die out by texting you less. But he really could just be really stressed about school and could be a bad communicator. I think that you should stop texting him and wait for him to reach out to you first. If he doesn't reach out in 3 days, then you have your answer and you should move on.
  4. I agree that not finding a connection doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, and I said that in my original post. I'm just saying that often times the person for you will come along when you aren't expecting to find them. I have guy friends that are always trying to pick up girls at the bar or at parties and get really sad when they are rejected and think there is something wrong with them. I'm trying to say that maybe you're expecting to find the right girl when you're going out looking for her and specifically seeking her out at a party or something, but maybe you will meet her at work, or the grocery store, or somewhere random. I am not saying you can just sit back and do nothing and the girl of your dreams will just walk into your life, I'm just staying don't stress so much about hunting for her. I also really do think that there is someone out there for everyone and that's unfortunate that you know people who died without ever finding that person. I guess we will agree to disagree on that. Relationships take a lot of work. So even when you find your person, you still have to be willing to put in the time and effort to make it last. I was trying to make OP feel better since he is obviously in a lot of pain right now. So I was trying to tell him to not stress out and to focus on being happy while single instead of desperately searching for a connection equal to that of his ex and then leave him with an optimistic message. I don't know if your pessimism is helping anyone.
  5. I don't think this is sexual harassment because I was unsure about how I felt about him so sometimes I would reciprocate the flirting and attraction. But I think he was definitely too pushy sometimes.
  6. I have not had sex with this man and have no desire to. But I made this post to see if people have been in relationships like this where they originally felt no physical attraction but as time went on and they fell in love with their partner's personality they started to feel that physical attraction later on. But from everyone's advice, I have concluded that this isn't a physical attraction issue, it's him not having any concern for his health.
  7. It's great to hear advice from someone who was in a similar situation. Thank you!
  8. I feel safe with him because I feel like he would never let anything bad happen to me, he will always stand up for me, and he is really patient with me and helping me learn new things at work since he has been there for years and I just started. But I forgot to mention that he never drives and just Ubers everywhere because he is always drinking 🙃 When we go out, I drive.
  9. I agree that going out with him because I feel bad saying no or because I'm scared to reject him was not the right thing to do and I feel bad about doing that. But it also was not right for him to beg me so much to the point where I felt like I had to say yes. Regardless, I definitely have to take some of the blame for taking this farther than it should have gone.
  10. UPDATE: Thank you to everyone for all of your advice and kind words! I think that the health and hygiene issues that he has are definitely red flags that I shouldn't have to look past. I think that I got pressured into dating him even though I am not attracted to him because he was so persistent and I tend to be a push over. Also, it is not fair to him to continue stringing him along when I know this is how I feel. We both have off work tomorrow, so I am going to go talk to him in person and tell him that I need to stay true to my beliefs, I don't date my coworkers, and I only want to be friends with him. I could be honest with him about all the other stuff, but I think that would cross the line into just being mean. I know that he will try to persuade me otherwise, but I know I need to work on my assertiveness, so I will be sure to not give in to him. Thank you all again! ❤️
  11. You are so right about this. I know that I tend to be a push over because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I need to be stronger in my convictions and stand up for myself so that I don't get taken advantage of. Thank you!
  12. In my opinion, she was acting really strange. Who calls someone that they don't know because they heard a cough? I'm sorry that she got your hopes up that there would be a connection or a relationship but I honestly think this girl is weird. I think she could be emotionally unstable from her recent breakup and she may be feeling guilty for pursuing another guy so soon after the break up. Regardless of what the reason is for her acting this way, I think that you should just move on. I'm sorry you had to deal with such a weird interaction, but I don't think it's worth pursuing any further.
  13. That's how I feel! It is so hard for me to tell how I actually feel. When I'm with him I have a great time, but the hygiene and health habits really gross me out. I don't know if I'm being too picky or if these are real red flags that I should run away screaming for.
  14. Yes, I guess that is essentially what I am saying. I guess I mean that when you are happy and loving life while you are single, then single women who are also happy and loving life will see that and be drawn to your energy.
  15. How old are you two? I think this will add context to the situation.
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