Gringo79

1 minute ago, LaHermes said:

You are in the U.S. gringo.

As other posters have pointed out there are thousands and thousands of Latina women in the U.S. 

Generalizations!  There may well be some men like this in "Latin America" and  cheaters and the work-shy exist in every country, including the U.S. and over here as well.

And a man can never be "too masculine".  LOL.

If you want to travel to South America, experience the culture and see how you like it, why not?  Plan a holiday there, maybe a month if you can manage that.  Maybe if you meet her in person the whole situation might be entirely different. 

Meantime, you have only been talking online to this woman for a month. And, yes, she is only a picture on a screen.  

Yes, I know there are many good latin american men also and my comments are stereotypical. I think my biggest concern is am I choosing not to see huge red flags because I'm emotionally attached at the moment. I've heard all the relationships schemes out there, which are real, but this one doesn't fit the case...she's not asking for anything (yet), isn't trying to get to the US. She just seems like a single mother who is looking for someone dependable and loving to work at life with someone and not on her own. 

3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

True. Make sure you come back with both your kidneys if you're going to Columbia.

hahaha...not Colombia

1 minute ago, Tinydance said:

I guess online relationships can work in some cases but they need to transition to in person ASAP. Just talking online and on video doesn't really translate to real life 

I agree with you 100%...there's only so far it can go over the phone and quickly loses momentum once burned out from the same texts and videos. 

10 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

Well I would recommend going to her country as soon as possible. Just talking online and video can be a waste of time. You need to meet in real life.

Yeah, I mean I would love to visit her country, I've always wanted to even before I met her so it would be sort of a win-win potentially but I don't want to end up being robbed ... or worse. 

But in all sincerity, she's is either genuinely honest or is very good at deception. The more I learn about her, she seems very honest. I really can't call her out on anything at this point.   

2 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

I hate to be a kill joy but I'm thinking that because you can't really visit her due to COVID, it might fizzle out...I don't know how things are going with COVID on your end but in my city in Australia we are in our 4th "house arrest" lockdown lol I don't think we'll be able to travel overseas until next year. I'm not sure that a purely online relationship can survive this long...But if you're lonely in lockdown it probably won't hurt to talk to a beautiful lady.

Fortunately things are fairly normalized where I am at. I asked her about it and in their city things are opening back up as people are getting vaccinated. But yeah, it'll be a few months if I even decide to travel there and I think she understands that.

1 minute ago, smackie9 said:

It doesn't have to be money they are after...but a green card.

If it's too good to be true, most likely it is. The love bombing on her end is concerning.

Yes, I agree 100%

4 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

It looks like you met on a dating site correct?

Did she message you or did you message her first?

How many children does she have?

Has she ever been married?

Would you be expected to take her parents in?

  The old saying goes here I think.  If it seems to good to be true it probably is.

 That of course doesn't mean she isn't really looking for an American man to fall in love with just like you are looking for a Latin woman. 

A couple of things you need to be careful of: Make sure you have good anti virus software on your computer.  Scammers can embed a virus in the meta data in pictures and videos and then later get control and find banking info, passwords and the like.  Beautiful women have been and are still used to sell things to men so be cautious. 

Talk on the phone as much as possible so you can get a feel for her true self and if in a few months you are still interested take a short vacation and go visit her.  Be clear on where she lives and check with the American embassy to make sure the area is safe.

 You are right to be skeptical...

Lost

Thank you, that was very spot on. And wow, yeah I didn't give too much thought about the virus potential! 

2 minutes ago, SooSad33 said:

 

You do realize.. at this time, it's all 'Grand' for you.

You are way ahead of yourself- and it's all just 'lust'.  You have a ways to go, before you can surely say, this is all good.

You two both need more time to learn about each other.  One month is nothing!  See if you still feel the same in 6 months.

No one knows how the other is 'behind closed doors', or personally.. of IF you even are truly compatible..

I say, before YOU even consider anything ( of what you are thinking 'fantasy', you slow it all down and breathe ). You're just 'assuming' as everyone does, when they come across someone so cool & fascinating.  Go easy here!

You need much more time here to learn of her.  Do not assume anything at all, at one month.

And also remember.. so often long distance does not go well.

Just tread carefully and keep your 'heart' out of this for a while.  Last thing you want/need is to be led on to fails, lies, be used, etc.

 

 

Thank you...I truly appreciate your thoughts. And you are 100% accurate.

2 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

To be honest I just get suspicious of people who are really attractive but they're looking for someone from another (more well off) country. Surely they can easily meet someone in their own country. So there seems to be some kind of ulterior motive...

I cannot disagree with you.

4 minutes ago, itsallgrand said:

I think you should hold off and when things get better (totally understand why moving was tricky this year!) move to Florida! Or somewhere else that suits your fancy in the U. S. 

I wouldn't get too caught up in this particular situation. Sure, it's a nice distraction. But careful.. I think there's good reason to be cautious. 

Just my opinion. Good luck. 

Yes, I agree, part of my mind is definitely suspicious. But so far I don't see anything where she might be caught up with some bad scheme. She works at an international airport 60 hours a week, she is un uniform like all the other people you see at an airport dressed up nicely. So from her appearance or her presentation, she's just like any other average good working person of society.

7 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

A lot depends on how you started chatting, where and who contacted whom. Is this a dating site? If so why did you choose someone 1000s of miles away?

After chatting 4 weeks you're getting ahead of yourself talking about moving to a place you've never  been to a person you've chatted with for 30 days and never met.

 Slow your roll. Fist figure out what's going on. You need to ask yourself why she is bothering with someone so far away.

I agree with you 100%. 

Before I met this girl, I had been planning on moving south, like FL. But also really liked the idea of living in a latin american country. 

Either way I've already told her it would be a while before I would consider visiting her because I do want to learn more Spanish, get some things done here in the US, etc...so maybe I might entertain a 3-day vacation/trip to see what she is about. I don't have relatives or really any other friends who are willing to go on a vaction otherwise, so why not go somewhere I've always wanted to visit where there is someone willing to meet me and show me her country for a few days. Those are my thoughts anyway.  

11 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

I'm in Australia so we don't have that many Latino people here. But are you sure you're not just stereotyping? Researching about a particular partner you want just seems a bit odd to me....

I guess in the past I've read articles online about "how to find your soulmate" and things along those lines, but I've never read articles like "How to date a British guy" lol

I understand some countries have a distinct culture but still not everyone just fits the same mould. It sounds to me a bit like you just have this Latina woman "fetish". I don't mean sexual sorry but you have the thing for Latina women so you researched them and are going to travel to this woman's country basically based on the fact she's Latina. To me it just seems like a successful relationship is one that happens naturally and not just based on having a thing for a certain nationality. Like, just getting out and about and meeting women and starting to get a connection as you get to know them.

Yes, I understand where you're coming from and how my situation sounds. Yes, I am attracted to latina women, but I also love all women. I'm purely basing this instance with the idea that I think this girl is beautiful to me, and from what she is saying she has a beautiful heart/soul and have developed feelings for her. I've only been reading about the "stereotypes" since after meeting her because I'm trying to figure out why she would want a gringo like me, what her culture is like, or something to help decide which way my gut feeling should go. 

However, I did go on a date a few months ago with a mexican latina who grew up in TX but lives in my state. Somehow the topic came up and she insisted will NEVER date a hispanic man because of "how they are" which I've heard and read about a number of times from other latina's  

1 minute ago, itsallgrand said:

I mean, if you are willing to consider moving countries for a woman, why not pack up and move to a city in the U.S. with a bustling Hispanic community? You'd have the opportunity to meet all kinds of women and to date more organically. 

 

HAHA good point and also in consideration...I virtually had my bags packed to move south to FL, then Covid hit and killed the industry I'm working in, it's rebounding but stalled. So while the world was on lockdown I go onto a Latin Only dating website thinking I would potentially find someone to meet and likely they might want to move to the US. Likewise, I've always wanted to travel to latin countries so it seemed like it could be an opportunity. Well, I can't help that I developed feelings for this girl after talking with her for a month to find out she may not want to move to the US. Which might be fine, South America is getting better and more developed, and if I could find stable work in one of those countries and learn to speak the language, I would have no trouble relocating.

2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

If you're in the middle US, gee, there are lots of Latina women here! Look around! Chicago, for example, has a large Latino population.

Or do you want a more "traditional" woman, one who allows the man to take the lead and defers to him in all ways? Because at least in my Latin family the women are strong and certainly are not submissive or demure.

No, I see women as 100% equal

2 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

Why does she want a guy in another country?

Also good point. I'm told that many men in latin america are too masculine, cheat often, and don't work. Likelwise, I've read that Latin women like American men because they are more passionate. I realize all this is stereotypical but this is what I'm researching...   

5 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

I think if you want to date a woman in South America you need to have an actual plan though. Does she want to move to your small town? Or do you want to move to her? You said yourself that you don't actually speak Spanish. I understand you're enjoying online attention from a beautiful woman but can this relationship actually happen in reality? She has kids and all their family and friends are in her country. So is she willing to move? Otherwise you have to move to her country. If neither of you wants to move then it won't actually work.

I can't disagree with you there. I asked her if she wants to move to the US and she didn't seem that interested even though her brother lives in PA. She currently lives with her mom, which I hear in many Latin countries living with immediate relatives is very common. I'm at a point in my life where I would consider moving to her country if I could find work and I enjoyed being there with her.

3 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

So how far away do you live from her country? What is the purpose of speaking to a woman in another country? I'm just genuinely wondering...

She's on the equator, I'm in the midwest US. LOL

I'd love to be with a Latina...they just strike me as being the kind of woman for me. Likewise, I would never say any other woman of any other ethnicity would not be of interest to me.

I wish she wasn't so far away, but it is what it is.

8 minutes ago, Lambert said:

You really can't legitimately say this.  You have no idea who is actually posting, talking, texting. It could be more than one person.  

Why are you even entertaining this? 

The emotional talk? 

Yeah that's weird, too.

Try to find a local woman. 

I've had a video call with her so I can definitely tell it is her.

I have a genuine interest in meeting her and possibly moving to her country if she is legit. 

8 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

What is your instinct saying, Gringo?  You ask: Am I being scammed?

A month is a very short time.

Could I enquire if there is some reason why you are not dating locally, or within your territory anyhow.

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I'm gut instinct is 50/50 but I've been wrong on my instincts a number of times, better or worse. 

I live in a relatively small town and there's really no one I'm interested here so I've reached out to online dating a number of times. I've gone on some dates but none thrilled me. I've also always had a thing for Hispanic women and culture. I believe, for the most part, latinas are more passionate and do not care as much about materialistic things, they love deeply and family is their number one priority. I don't mean to stereotype or that all latinas are this way, but statistically it seems to be more than plausible.

...

I have been chatting with a girl from South America for over a month. We’ve exchanged photos, a video chat, tells me many details about her personal life such as work, what she is doing with her kids, etc. She asks how I am doing, and many times is first to say "Good Morning". We are also Facebook friends and I see that she is very open about her faith in God. I can legitimately say she is who she says she is. She has a decent job in sales/customer service. She wants me to come visit her, which eventually I'm willing to do, but I told her I want to learn more Spanish first. The part throwing me off is for about the past week she’s saying that she loves me very much, she's very affectionate, and I'm feeding into it. In the back of my mind I'm thinking, “we haven't even met yet” although we have shared photos, video, recipes (lol), and our beliefs. She is 32 years old and incredibly beautiful, where as if I were to rate myself I would honestly put myself at a 5.5 (maybe 6) out of 10…I probably have lower self-assessment than in reality, many people do, but I am 10 years older than her. I also have a tendency to be cynical towards others, but given the situation, I would say (partially) rightly so. The other thing is she asks me questions about myself, but not to the extend I would think someone who is genuinely interested would be asking. I would say 50% of our conversations are simply expressing emotional feelings back and forth.  She has never asked for anything other than she hopes I will come to see her. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.