I have been dating a guy (28 years old) for 3 months, he asked me to be his gf recently. He is treating me very well but he constantly follows new naked insta models. These girls are people that he cant meet obviously but the problem is I find the fact that he is following and constantly seeking out naked woman very disrespectful.
Also, the fact that he told me he will only have eyes for me and I will see with time that I can trust him, but despite saying these, him following these accounts doesnt look good to me at all.
I am conflicted.
On one side:
- I know that guys and girls can look at other people and find otehrs attractive while in relationship too. I follows celebrities and footballers that I find attractive. But I wouldnt follow D... pictures on social media especially when I was in a relationship. It would be disrespectful to my bf and I am sure he would be worried if he saw my social media activity following bunch of accounts with d... pics. I find him following naked insta models on insta totally disrespectful. And He appears as a thirsty guy in my eyes now, who is constantly seeking out naked woman (but again I dont know if this is normal for men).
- Indeed, before meeting him i've always wondered how my friends or other girls put up with such disrespectful treatment. I always told myself I would never be with someone who disrespects me like that. (Plz correct me if I am being so harsh).
- So, since it has been only 3 months, I am considering to end the relationship by saying something like "we are not compatible" and continue dating and choose to be with someone who wont do that. Because I think that if I try to talk to him about his social media activity, I might appear as a controling person. Also, I dont want to tell him what to do. If he is happy following these women, he should. I shouldnt be preventing him. It shouldnt be a forced decison, it should come naturally from him. Perhaps he is not done exploring?
On the other hand:
- I am thinking about keeping it very simple and telling him: "I know its normal for both man and woman to look at other man and woman and find others attractive but following these accounts and constantly seeking out naked woman is disrespectful." I will also tell him that I always told myself I would never put up with such activity in a relationship and see what he will say and take it from there.
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I dont know which option is better. I feel that this relationship has a potential if we could get past the insta issue.
Also, the reason why I posted here is, I want to get more opinions. Perhaps, I am overreacting and being overly jealous?
Perhaps I should change the way I think about the whole thing? For instance, some people might say he is a men and men are visual, so if he is loving and caring and making me feel beautiful, loved etc, I shouldnt worry about social media. But on the other hand, his social media activity is not making me feel respected.
Also is it really healthy to lust over others when in a relationship with someone you claim you care about?
I would appreciate your opinions, what should I do?
Hi, I know this post is a bit old but I was trying to find some answers around the web cos today I woke up with the same "problem". Hope you're doing better now.
My boyfriend right now is away working in another city. He's from there but actually planning to live in mine. We've been dating since 6 months, right now 2-1/2 months away, and looking to meet again in 2 or 3 months, let's see what covid19 says about it. All has been fine but all of the sudden he started to follow these ***ty accounts. The reason why I notice it is because there are profiles recommendations that say he's actually following them, and the follows are recent. I wouldn't call it "stalking". At some point you're gonna start notice this behavior which I don't think is bad but, in my case, and after knowing he doesn't use to do this things, is weird. Specially because of the distance, I don't want to think he's starting to loose interest.
I wouldn't give it much importance because they are only "models", you know? But hey, I could send him some pics if he feels alone. I am also pretty and interesting. And there is where you feel not insecure but, a little insulted... It is hard to talk about it cos sounds silly, but if there is a good relationship, shouldn't matter... Instead, ask him to spice things up without talking about those accounts...
I know your case is or was a bit different from mine in some ways. And I hope you are feeling better now.
xx
Bf following naked instagram models
in Dating Advice
Posted
Hi, I know this post is a bit old but I was trying to find some answers around the web cos today I woke up with the same "problem". Hope you're doing better now.
My boyfriend right now is away working in another city. He's from there but actually planning to live in mine. We've been dating since 6 months, right now 2-1/2 months away, and looking to meet again in 2 or 3 months, let's see what covid19 says about it. All has been fine but all of the sudden he started to follow these ***ty accounts. The reason why I notice it is because there are profiles recommendations that say he's actually following them, and the follows are recent. I wouldn't call it "stalking". At some point you're gonna start notice this behavior which I don't think is bad but, in my case, and after knowing he doesn't use to do this things, is weird. Specially because of the distance, I don't want to think he's starting to loose interest.
I wouldn't give it much importance because they are only "models", you know? But hey, I could send him some pics if he feels alone. I am also pretty and interesting. And there is where you feel not insecure but, a little insulted... It is hard to talk about it cos sounds silly, but if there is a good relationship, shouldn't matter... Instead, ask him to spice things up without talking about those accounts...
I know your case is or was a bit different from mine in some ways. And I hope you are feeling better now.
xx