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DruggistDoggo

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  1. That's where I wanted her to be straightforward - Holy sounding reasons only add confusion, especially when it's not felt on both sides, isn't lined up with scripture, etc. Family Conflict - I get along with family on both sides, yet Mom is passive aggressive and a bit sparky. On and off living with rents depending on where I'm called for work. The conflict is more on her being passive aggressive or rude about something, and then I'll pull back as not to cause a huge blow-up, since she'll either get defensive, more passive aggressive or attack verbally.
  2. I agree - I think the dealbreakers being mentioned was the turning point. Unfortunately I thought it was wise to seek other council, take a few days to pray/process and then come back... Would have been probably better to just work it out together over a few days.
  3. Absolutely. The initiating needs to be completely from her. From my understanding it's once both people have moved on, time and space has been given. Even in that, it's not guaranteed. Yes - Delight in the Lord in all ways, for He knows the true desires of our heart. That's my focus, on Him, His direction. I'll be honest, how C has presented this did make me confused on how the Spirit works and why He would separate us. I find it hard to believe "it's God" and moreso think it's her.
  4. Thank you for the wisdom and perspective. I agree - based on how she's approaching this, and from what others have said... it's done. No talk of actively working it out, cordial conversation, no initiating. Forum - I feel that this is all on me. While I did inquire about timelines with her Dad, I thought pre-engagement sessions were OK. Our plan was engagement at one year, then a short period for final red flag checks. This felt intentional, directional and not too pressuring based on C's thoughts. How I handle conflict was unaware to me, yet when she brought it up I practice
  5. Thanks for the clarity - I didn't realize I was pushing it so strongly. He asked to date for at least a year, and so, C and I agreed to that. Not sure where I come off with ignoring his warning, more so, heeding it. Back up and slow it down. You think this is done and done? Or we could slow it down and patch it up?
  6. Ok Seraphim - I've left it on her end to reach out if and when she feels like it. If it's incompatibility, there's nothing to work through. Although...She did note that it wasn't family focused issues. That this feeling she senses was different and she knew she could work through the family stuff. I'll move on and let this go. Please keep her and I in prayer.
  7. Fair enough - Do you feel that if C and I talk again, this is something we can discuss? I feel my time investment with family and reflection of this past relationship changes how I'd approach it moving forward.
  8. Right, so clearly drawing boundaries between family and potential spouse. Urgh, seems like an expensive lesson to learn for something that I feel is feasible to work on while dating.
  9. Really? Too bad she didn't bring that up...I would have gladly looked at timelines differently. I thought I was being intentional. Getting an idea of how he wants me to date his daughter, timelines, and working with them.
  10. How do I work this out for future partners? This whole situation had made me feel cursed... I didn't choose my family. I choose how I want to be as a husband, the values to uphold, and navigating that with a partner. Almost seems like because of family, a well-grounded, attractive, kind hearted Christian woman is out of the picture.
  11. Ah I see - that's pretty sad 😞 I was convinced we were a solid couple and set up for marriage. Similar hobbies, outlook on life, direction, and quality of time spent together. Incompatibility seems off but there's really nothing else. Moving on, is this 100% dead? Give it time and space to see what happens?
  12. Ouch - I didn't take her as dishonest, manipulative.
  13. It absolutely could be! My hesitancy is based on how our times were together, our values, outside perceptions of our relationship and what she is saying. Absolutely disappointed. She's mature, intelligent, stunningly attractive, heartwarming, honest, and rustic living like myself. We seemed like a solid match
  14. Intentionally or unintentionally? Her getting counselling seems like there is something deep rooted on her end...
  15. Could be - When we last talked via video, I set her up to rip the bandaid off. Be real, honest, and state the underlying factor. Her response: Holy Spirit conviction. If she knew what it was, she'd tell me and work it out together. If anything it's that she thinks I'll bring this behavior into marriage with her, and she'd be subject to the same behavior she witnessed to my Mom. Hard to convince her that wouldn't be the case...
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