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DNAse

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  1. Yes you are definitively right. She is not relationship material. I have to accept it, and as it was already mentioned, my brain is still in "denial", which is why I'm still going back and forth in my mind. Rationally, I know it doesn't make sense. Emotionally, I want to get back together with her and reset our relationship to the beginning, when things were still great. However, I guess it's true that she wasn't really herself during this phase. She was hiding her true self. I'm not saying her true self means she is a bad person though. It's just that her true self and myself don't seem to be compatible, or let's put it this way: her "I'm stressed out with work"-self isn't compatible with me. I still have a lot of respect for her. She did a lot for me. She is very intelligent and a lovely person. I'm sure she would also be a great friend, but obivously that's not what I want right now. Another factor which probably makes it difficult for me to deal with the situation right now is the pandemic. We are currently in lockdown, I can't even go to the gym or meet up with friends to distract myself. It's horrible. All I have is my exam revision, but I'm a restless soul, I need my workouts in order to let off some steam. I am going through quite a few difficulties in my life at the moment: leaving my daily routines in Mexico, leaving my friends, breaking up, being ill, having the biggest exam of my life coming up etc. I think I am managging pretty well given the circumstances, but it all feels like a huge burden at the moment. And obviously it sucks even more to be left when you're going through tough times like these.
  2. I hadn't planned to stay in Mexico for a year. I had initially planned to stay 4 months but then, due to the pandemic, I couldn't return to Germany (flight cancellations, unsafe travel conditions etc.) and ultimately ended up staying 11 months in Mexico. I do have a few Mexican friends in Germany, so, as I said, I was aware there would be cultural differences. BUT there is a huge difference between staying in a foreign country and getting along with the people, and actually having a romantic relationship there. I integrated myself very well in Mexico, even to a point that my friends told me I appeared to be more of a Mexican than a German. However, platonic social interaction with friends is totally different to having a romatic relationship. I hadn't planned to engange in a relationship before going to Mexico. It just happenend. We met and fell in love. I love Mexico. I love the cultue and I love the people and that's why I will return. My point is, however, that although you understand the culture/social rules ("dating rules"), doesn't necesarily mean you will be able to apply them right away. It takes some time to fully integrate. It's definitely not something you can learn by taking a course. It's something you have to experience and basically a matter of "learning by doing" through "trial and error". Communication, and especially communication between men and women, is very different in Mexico to what is like in Europe. You can't undo 30 years of socialisation in just a couple of months. In every day life, it's not that much of a big deal if you don't understand all cultural differences right away. However, when you have a relationship, which involves strong emotions, little mistakes can have a big impact. If you don't communicate well, it can backfire very badly. For instance, Mexicans don't like to say "no", instead they will just keep beating around the bush until you guess that they actually mean no. They will do many things for courtesy but it doesn't necesarily mean they are doing it because they are 100% convinced it's right. Therefore, if I say "no", like I'm used to, because it's totally normal in Germany, Mexicans can easily feel offended. Conversely, if my ex was beating around the bush in order to avoid saying "no" but I didn't get it, because I'm not used to this type of conversation, it can also cause problems, because I will assume she really wants me to do whatever she is offering me to do. It's not always very easy to correctly interpret this type of implicit conversation. I have already experienced both extremes: A) She offers me to help me with something and I didn't want to accept it, because I felt it would be asking too much of her. However, as it turned out, she felt insulted for me not accepting it. B) She says she will do something but then it turns out she only did it for courtesy. These linguistic/cultural subtleties a extremely difficult to handle.
  3. Sorry, I didn't explain it very well. She is doing psychotherapy, because she can't deal with the fact she can't always have things (regarding her life) under control. It was causing her problems, especially when the pandemic started, and then she started psychotherapy in order to learn to let go of the thought of being able to always have the things, which happen in her life, under control. She is a very independent woman and doesn't want to be dependent on anyone. Therefore, she never really lets anyone get too close emotionally. To a certain degree yes, she does let you into her world, but when she starts to feel very strong feelings and fears that she might make herself vulnerable by trusting too much, she will withdraw. She wants to have a relationship but isn't aware of the fact that it will never work out if she doesn't let go of her need to be in control all the time. She doesn't want to be in control of her partner though- she is afraid of losing control over her life and her emotions. She was never really controlling with me. She was only bossing me around when I was ill in order to make sure I took my medication and following my doctor's advice, but in general, she wasn't bossing me around. I never felt inferior or dominated when we were speaking. The only situation when I started to feel we weren't having a relatinship on equal terms was towards the end when we started to have these issues as to when we would see each other.
  4. Well, I'm not blaming cultural differences, but I'm saying that they do play a role. Before I went to Mexico, I hadn't been aware of the fact that there would be such profound cultural differences. I was aware that there would be some issues, but I wasn't aware of how different life is actually over there and I think that this is something people will only understand if they have actually lived in a completely different culture for a while. In Germany, I have never had issues like this at all with my ex girlfriends. My role as a man was never in question. I grew up in a society in which men and women are equal, in which men and women have relationships without any major power struggles. In Germany, it's absolutely normal for a man to ask before he does things. In Mexico, women expect you to do things, without asking. That is a huge difference and it makes you look completely different. However, this type of behaviour, your socialisation, cannot be changed over night. It's a process of adaptation which takes a while. And yes, you're right. The relationship was completely out of balance. She didn't only confuse me, we probably confused each other. I'm beginning to understand now that it's better to forget about it and move on. But it's a tough process to go from having such a deep connection to no contact at all within only just one month. Even more so, because I have these huge exams coming up and my brain is trolling around with giving me flashbacks of our relationship and wanting to resolve things (which cannot be resolved)...I hope it'll pass soon.
  5. I think you're right about the boundaries. We were talking about boundaries every now and again but then she didn't stick to her own rules and that's when I was having a hard time sticking to them myself. When she says I need to leave in the morning but then suggests watching a film together, my conclusion is that she doesn't want me to leave. Even if she is an indirect person, it doesn't make any sense to offer an activity that leads to the exact opposite of what you want to do, right? If she had wanted me to leave, she could have just not said anything and then I would have left. You're also right about the fact that she is still figuring things out. I have the impression that she doesn't even know what kind of guy she wants to be with. Before she met me, she hadn't even had a close relationship before. When we broke up she told me that her idea of an adult relationship was to see her bf 2-3 times a week spending a couple of hours together. The thing is that she always says A and then her actions convey B. I'm more influneced by actions. I think that's the major problem we had. I don't have a fixed idea of a relationship, if we agree together that we will only see each other 2-3 times a week then that's fine. I also have a life outside of the relationship with her. However, if she says one thing and then leads me into doing another, then that's a problem. Obviously, yes, I could basically see her all the time, so I don't have this in-built desire to leave. Consequently, when she gives me a signal to stay longer, I will do it assuming she was serious about it. However, as it turns out, she wasn't honest about it and then I ask myself why she suggests these kind of things when in fact she wants me to leave. It's all too confusing..lol
  6. The thing is that duing our first 3,5 months, yes she was my ideal partner. We got along really well. We felt really comfortable in each other's company. We were a good team. But when I look at our last month then I would say: No, she wasn't my ideal partner. That's why I'd like to know what happened during the last month, what made her change her behaviour. I think it was a combination of many things but I am very certain it had something to do with the fact I was ill 3 times and felt very dependent and insecure (I couldn't find a new apartment, I didn't know about my flights, about my future etc.). I wasn't my most attractive self during this time.
  7. Yes, you're definitely right about that. The problem is that I had arrived end of december last year. I was doing my internship at the hospital and then 2 months later they initiated a very tough 4-month lockdown. I was basically imprisoned in my apartment- sometimes I wouldn't see another human being for 2 weeks in a row. It made me feel very depressed. It was a nightmare, I was living in Guadalajara for a year and I didn't get to know much of the culture. In fact, it was only after meeting her that I was finally getting to know the Mexican culture. She was basically my first real social contact. When I met her, I focused all my energy into her. As for staying at her place- that was her choice. She didn't like my roomie and therefore didn't want to come around my place to visit me for more than a couple of hours. She felt we couldn't have any privacy at my place, so I always ended up staying at her place. I was aware of the fact that this could become a problem in the future, but I didn't know what to do about it. I could understand her reasons, I didn't feel comfortable either living with my roomie either. Later, for the last 2 months, I moved in with her brother. It was a great experience, he is a lovely person, but again I found myself in a situation of not having "my own place" and when she came over to visit, we didn't have privacy again. This situation automatically put me in an inferior situation, I was always dependent. The problem is that, because of the pandemic, I couldn't make any plans. In June, they were cancelling my flights all the time. I knew I would have to return in November to take my exam, but I never knew for sure if it would work out. During those 5 months, I was myself but never really 100% myself- I was constantly worried about finding a new apartment, worried about flights being cancelled, worried about not being able to take my final exams, financial worries etc. I am not totally different when I'm at home, but I definitely feel more secure and more self-confident. Here, I got my car, my apartment. I don't have to beg for my medication. She has probably lost attraction over time because she felt I was too dependent, which I can understand. I will go back to Mexico in January and I will have a my own place then, I will also have a car and I think that I will feel much more confident then. Maybe she'll notice the difference, if not there will be someone else to do so..haha As for my Spanish, it is very fluent now. When we first met, it was fluent, but not fluent enough to feel confident. And yes, I have quite a few friends in GDL, but it was difficult to meet up with them, because they were all very anxious and taking care of themselves because of the pandemic. I was reluctant to see them as well, because I have a chronic condition and didn't want to put myself at risk.
  8. Thanks for your answer. I think punching bag explains it pretty well. I think, she was projecting the stress and pressure she was feeling at work on me. I think, she was thinking that I was stealing her time when in fact it was only her job and her poor time management. And yes, you're right, I have to accept that she decided against me. It's just that sometimes it seems to me that dating in Mexico works in a totally different way than what we're used to. There is so much more drama involved. They breakup up and get back together and act like nothing's happenened. It seems to be part of their culture. And when they can't find problems, they are creating problems (that's what the psychologist told me that I saw to process the break up).
  9. Hi guys, I need your advice. Sorry for the long text... I tried to keep it as short as possible. I find myself in a very complicated situation right now. I'm 33 years old and from Germany. I went to México for a one-year academic exchange. In June, I met my ex (34 years old) and we had been together for 5 months when she broke up with me 3 weeks ago. The first 3,5 months, the honey moon stage, were obviously very nice. We both enjoyed each other’s company. We were both really heavily into each other- on many levels: personally, sexually etc. There was a huge attraction between us and also a lot of trust- we had many very profound conversations right from the start. During the first three months, she had a lot of free time, because she wasn’t allowed to work due to the pandemic. Consequently, we saw each other a lot. It was very balanced. As from September, she started a new job and that was basically also when things started to become complicated. She told me right from the start that she was a person who needed a lot of space. I was ok with that, because I also need a lot of space myself. However, nonetheless, we spent our first three months incredibly close. So when she started her new job, I think I couldn’t adapt quickly enough, because I had gotten used to the closeness. Eventually, we gradually went from seeing each other 3-4 full days a week 24h during the weekends and one day during the week. I was ok with that. The bottom line is that we weren’t seeing each other that often anymore, but it was still mutual. However, she began to set rules, such as when we saw each other for the weekend, she expected me to leave the next day in the morning before 10 am so she could work. I tried to stick to it, but she didn’t- she would invite me to stay for breakfast, watch netflix together or initiate sex. As she nearly always initiated this, I didn’t think it could become a problem, but it turned out to be her major argument to break up with me. She told me “you don’t stick to our rules”, “it makes me feel uncomfortable to tell you to leave if you don’t leave by yourself”, “we have a different idea of a relationship”. Apparently it’s a cultural issue- Mexicans don’t like to throw you out of their house, so they are waiting for you to make the first move. I didn’t know that and she didn’t tell me until she broke up. If I had known, I would have set myself an alarm and gone straight back to my place the next morning. In essence, she gave me a couple of reasons as to why she wanted to break up with me, but they were all pretty confusing and contradictory. “I feel like your mother sometimes”- in September I was pretty ill and had to go to hospital 3 times. It wasn’t a good thing for her to see me like this but she also insisted to accompany me to the hospital. And when we first me she literally told me “You have to accept the fact that I’m a bossy girlfriend. This is what we Mexican girls are like.”. I did actually need some assistance because of the language barrier, so yes, she was kind of in this role of helping me a lot. “You are not dominant enough”. Interestingly, when we first met, she told me that me liked me exactly for the fact that I’m not like a typical Mexican man and when we got to know each other she also told me she had broken up with her ex because he was too dominant. I'm neither dominant nor submissive, I adapt. She is very dominant herself, if I had adopted a dominant role, I would have become a dictator and she wouldn't have l liked that for sure. “We are too different”- this I don’t think, in fact I do think we have a lot in common which is why we developed such a strong bond so quickly. Obivously, we don't have everything in common. She thinks we have divergent ideas of a relationship, however, in fact we never really spoke about our ideas of a relationship. She is just assuming that I want a close relationship. On October 17th she told me she wanted to come around because she needed to talk. We met at my place and she told me said she felt she had to break up with me. We had a very emotional conversation and then she wanted to give it another try, because she felt she had never really given me a real chance to improve what she felt had to be improved. However, she never really did give me a chance. She turned pretty cold. Another 10 days later, I decided to pop around her house to talk (I actually wanted to break up because I didn’t like the way she was treating me), because I was confused by her behaviour. We were going to see each other on a Thursday, but I went around on a Wednesday to talk (she used that later as another reason to tell me I wasn’t sticking to her rules- she says she wants to meet on a Thursday and I popped around on a Wednesday- but I really couldn’t wait anymore). So we talked and I told her I didn’t like the way she treated me. She then gave me her same old reasons again and told me that she felt we were too different. We broke up, but I slept at her place, we were both crying the whole night. I didn’t exactly beg and plead, but I told her I felt it was a shame we never really worked on our issues, because I felt they were all solvable. She kept insisting she wanted to stay in touch with me and stay friends. I told her I didn’t know if I could be her friend. What I don’t get is that she is doing psychotherapy and I’m pretty sure she was discussing our relationship with her psychologist- it’s difficult for me to imagine that he would advise her to suggest a friendship in this situation! I don't know who implanted that idea into her head... After that, we were in no contact fo 4 days when she got in touch with me again, asking whether we could stay in touch and if she could come around to visit me. She kept getting in touch with me after the breakup and kept insisting she wanted to stay friends with me and wanted to see me again. In fact, I never initiated contact with her during this phase. We met 3 times after the breakup, but it never ended well, we always ended up discussing the break up. I didn’t exactly beg or plead but I did tell her (again) that I felt it was unfair she was breaking up with me without giving me a realistic chance to adapt my behaviour. And I also told her that I wanted to be with her. I now know, it was a mistake, I should have just ignored the topic. I don’t really understand the break up. At some point after our 2nd post breakup meeting, she told me she needed time and space. So I gave her time and space, but then she would get mad at me and complain why I was ignoring her. I wasn’t even ignoring her, I just didn’t get in touch with her. It just kept going back and forth like this, up to a point where emotionally I couldn’t cope with the situation anymore. She got me very confused. The thing is that last week I had to back to Germany to take my final exam at uni. I was only going to be away for 2 months though. I asked her if she had broken up with me because she was afraid I wouldn’t come back. And then she said “No, I trust you. If you say you’re coming back then I trust you”. However, I don’t know if that’s the truth. The reason why she is doing psychotherapy is because she always has to have things under control. So I think the fact I went back to Germany is kind of the worst nightmare somebody with her personality structure could have- she will totally not have things under control while I’m here in Germany. She will have to trust me and I think that’s also something she has issues with, because she was once cheated on. He brother told me she might have a fear I wouldn’t come back. This would explain her contradictory behaviour. I can feel that she still loves me. Even after breaking up, she just couldn’t maintain her distance. The day before I went back to Germany, she came around to say goodbye, brought a cake etc. It was really a very lovely thing for her to do, but I couldn't really appreciate it. She also gave me a lift to the airport the next day and accompanied me until the very last moment. It was very emotional. However, she seems to be annoyed at the moment. She told me she was fed up with my post breakup behaviour (engaging her in those “heavy” conversations again and again, although she doesn't like to speak about these things) and that we could talk every now and again but that right now she didn’t feel very much like talking to me. It’s been more than a week now since she last contacted me. I will keep up no contact, but I’m still very confused. It was an emotional rollercoaster ride for me. I have never had a breakup this chaotic before. What do you guys think? Is it worth fighting for? I’m still very much in love with her. It was love at first sight. We spent our first date 8 hours talking and it kept on going on like this, we have a very deep connection. She told me I was the first guy she felt safe and happy with and that she also found it a bit scary that she felt so well in my presence, because she had never experienced anything like this before..I think she is afraid of her emotions, because she doesn’t like to talk about how she feels. She doesn’t like to make herself vulnerable. I'm all confused... Before meeting her, I thought love at first sight didn't exist and I didn't believe in the concept of "the love of your life", but with her it was all different right from the start. Thanks very much for your help!
  10. Hi guys, sorry for the long text. I couldn't cut it any sorter unfortunately... I find myself in a very complicated situation right now. I went to México for a one-year exchange. In June, I met my ex and we had been together for 5 months when she broke up with me 3 weeks ago. The first 3,5 months, the honey moon stage, were obviously very nice. We both enjoyed each other’s company. We were both really heavily into each other- on many levels: personally, sexually etc. There was a huge attraction between us. During the first three months, she had a lot of free time, because she wasn’t allowed to work due to the pandemic, so she basically had a lot of free time. As from September, she started a new job and that was basically also when things started to become complicated. She told me right from the start that she was a person who needed a lot of space. I was ok with that, because I also need a lot of space. However, nonetheless, we spent our first three months incredibly close. So when she started her new job, I didn't manage to adapt quickly enough because I had gotten used to the closeness. Eventually, we gradually went from seeing each other 3-4 full days a week 24h during the weekends and one day during the week. I was ok with that. However, even when we saw each other then, she would often not stick to her own (new) rules. For example, she would tell me that the next morning I would have to leave early so she could work, but then she asked me if I wanted to have breakfast with her and watch netflix together or sometimes we eve had sex. Consequently, I often ended up leaving at 1 pm instead of 9 am. As she offered these activities, I never expected it would be a problem. But as it turns out, for her it was an argument to break up with me saying “you don’t stick to our rules”, “it makes me feel uncomfortable to tell you to leave if you don’t leave by yourself”, “we have different ideas of a relationship”. This kind of behaviour really confuses me. Apparently it’s a cultural issue- Mexicans don’t like to throw you out of their house, so they are waiting for you to make the first move. I didn’t know that and she didn’t tell me until we broke up. She was already showing signs of being unhappy in late September.. That was the first time she told me she was unhappy because she felt I needed more attention than she could give me and that we might not be compatible. I told her that my previous relationships had been different and that I was used to spending much more time with my girlfriend thinking it was “normal", but that it was a matter of adaptation rather than me being someone who has a different idea of a relationship than her. I basically don’t have any expectations in this regard. Everybody is different...If my gf is busy, then she is busy. I don’t take it personally. For me, there is no rule as to how often I have to see my girlfriend. She didn’t really seem to believe me though. About 3 weeks later (mid October), she came around to tell me she wanted to break up. And she gave me the same reasons again. I didn’t really buy into it though, because I had already changed my behaviour by then and we were already seeing each other significantly less. Also, it wasn’t that I was always asking if we could see each other, she asked me just as much, so I don’t think that I acted needy (we still felt very attracted to each other during this time and still had sex on a regular basis, sometimes multiple times a day). She then started to give me other reasons: “I feel like your mother sometimes”, “I feel detached”, “you are not enough of a gentleman” ("la caballerosidad” still plays a role in Mexico, but I’m having difficulties sometimes being a bossy man who doesn’t at least ask his gf if it’s ok before he does something). Interestingly, when we first met, she told me that me liked me exactly for the fact that I’m not a typical Mexican man. So I don’t know if she was telling me the truth…She also told me I wasn’t dominant enough but then told me she had broken up with her ex because he was too dominant and she didn't like that because she was an independen woman..So as you can see, it’s all very confusing. In September, I had to go to hospital 3 times, because I was very ill. I think that’s when she started to put herself into the role of a “mother” and started to see me as a weak person or even her patient. I don’t know. I told her that I felt very sorry for this and that I didn't want to be in this role- she always offered to accompany me to the hospital (to prevent language barrier problems, she is also a medical doctor). She kind of adopted this role of acting more like my doctor than my gf and she was also trying to boss me around. I told her that and then she then said “ok, you got a point there, I kind of pushed you into this role”. She then decided to give it another chance. However, in my opinion she never really did. She turned pretty cold. Another 10 days later, after she had basically been acting very cold and indifferent for a couple of days, I decided to pop around her house to talk (I actually wanted to break up because I didn’t like the way she was treating me). We were going to see each other on a Thursday, but I went around on a Wednesday to talk (she used that later as another reason to tell me I wasn’t sticking to her rules). So we talked and I told her I didn’t like the way she was treating me and that I thought it wouldn’t work out anymore. She then gave me her same old reasons again and told me that she felt we were too different..We broke up, but I slept at her place, we were both crying the whole night. I didn’t exactly beg and plead, but I told her I felt it was a shame we never really worked on our issues, because I felt they were all solvable. She kept insisting she wanted to stay in touch with me and stay friends. I told her I didn’t know if I could be her friend. The next morning, I went back to my place and we didn't have any contact for 4 days. On the 4th day she got in touch with me again, asking if I would like to stay in touch with her and if she could come around on Wednesday to see me. I agreed. She then came around that day and we watched our series together. She would hug me, tickle me, take my hand etc. I told her it confused me she was doing this, then we started to talk and had another, very emotional conversation (which I now regret). The thing is that I had to go back to Germany to take my final exam (I’m also about to become a medical doctor). I was only going to be away for 2 months though, I had already booked my return flight to return to Mexico after my exam. I asked her if she had broken up with me because she was afraid I wouldn’t come back. And then she said “No, I trust you. If you say you’re coming back then I trust you”. We went to have a very emotional conversation again about our relationship and she kept saying we were too different. That she loved me and that it was breaking her heart to break up with me..blah blah The usual…Another week later, we saw each other again. She initiated the contact again, she asked if we could see each other. Same game basically. We talked again. I now know that it was a mistake. The thing is she also actively engaged in the conversation, but later told me she didn’t like the fact we kept talking about it.. So I don’t know why she didn’t simply tell me that then I would have stopped the conversation. Last Sunday was my last day in Mexico. I was feeling very bad emotionally. But she kept insisting she wanted to come around to say goodbye. She brought me a cake, so I felt I couldn’t say no, but I didn’t really feel good about it. We had had an argument a couple of days before and she told me she needed “time and silence”. So I gave her that, I didn’t get in touch with her anymore. However, then she reproached me a couple of days later that I seemed indifferent and she felt I didn’t want to see her. It was driving me crazy. I was very annoyed, because I felt that whatever I did or said wasn’t right. She wants space- I give her space, but then she wants to see me again. She wants silence, I give her silence, but then she complains I’m not talking to her. So when she arrived on Sunday, I kind of had a nervous break down because it was too much for me to cope with emotionally- going back to Germany after such a long time in Mexico (leaving behind all my routines, my friends etc.), my upcoming exams (they are my final exams to becoming a medical doctor) and the situation with her. I didn’t talk to her a lot. She didn’t like it and asked me if we could speak. I then explained to her that I was annoyed and confused and that she made me feel as if everything was my fault. She wasn’t really very compassionate and told me it was my own fault if I felt like that because had never said she would blame me (she was though, indirectly). Later she turned more understanding, but initially she was pretty unfriendly. Inspite of yet another difficult conversation, she still gave me a lift to the airport the other day and accompanied me until the very last moment. We said goodbye and we were both really sad. However, I haven’t heard from her ever since (it’s been a week now exactly). It’s the longest time I haven’t heard from her. Before my flight took off, I asked her if she still wanted to stay in touch (because I was confused). She told me that she didn't feel like talking to me at the moment but that she didn't know how she would feel in the future (that's an interesting plot twist, because she had initially been the one insisiting we kept in touch). Maybe she is finally taking her time to heal now and it’s good she is also giving me some space to heal, but still I’m very confused. I think she is still mad at me for what happened the day before I left. She has basically given me very contradicting reasons all the time. She says A and then does B. I don’t understand her behaviour. I only know I love her a lot, it was love at first sight and I think she felt the same..Our first 3,5 months were very lovely. She told me I was the first guy she felt so happy with and that she couldn't believe it and that she also felt it was a bit scary. I felt the same about her. I think we really love each other a lot. We were together, we couldn't keep our hands off each other. We got along really well. We didn't have any major arguments, we never shouted at each other. We were like soul mates right from the start. She broke up with me so I am assuming it is final, but it really hurts a lot and I don’t know if maybe she broke up because the fact I had to go back to Germany? The thing is she is doing psychotherapy, because she is always afraid of losing control. So I think the fact I went back to Germany is kind of the worst nightmare coming true for somebody with her personality structure could have- she will totally not have things under control while I’m here in Germany. She will have to trust me and I think that’s also something she has issues with, because she was once cheated on. She denies it all though and insist we're incompatible. What do you guys think about this?
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