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DNAse

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Everything posted by DNAse

  1. Yes you are definitively right. She is not relationship material. I have to accept it, and as it was already mentioned, my brain is still in "denial", which is why I'm still going back and forth in my mind. Rationally, I know it doesn't make sense. Emotionally, I want to get back together with her and reset our relationship to the beginning, when things were still great. However, I guess it's true that she wasn't really herself during this phase. She was hiding her true self. I'm not saying her true self means she is a bad person though. It's just that her true self and myself don't seem
  2. I hadn't planned to stay in Mexico for a year. I had initially planned to stay 4 months but then, due to the pandemic, I couldn't return to Germany (flight cancellations, unsafe travel conditions etc.) and ultimately ended up staying 11 months in Mexico. I do have a few Mexican friends in Germany, so, as I said, I was aware there would be cultural differences. BUT there is a huge difference between staying in a foreign country and getting along with the people, and actually having a romantic relationship there. I integrated myself very well in Mexico, even to a point that my friends told me I
  3. Sorry, I didn't explain it very well. She is doing psychotherapy, because she can't deal with the fact she can't always have things (regarding her life) under control. It was causing her problems, especially when the pandemic started, and then she started psychotherapy in order to learn to let go of the thought of being able to always have the things, which happen in her life, under control. She is a very independent woman and doesn't want to be dependent on anyone. Therefore, she never really lets anyone get too close emotionally. To a certain degree yes, she does let you into her world, but
  4. Well, I'm not blaming cultural differences, but I'm saying that they do play a role. Before I went to Mexico, I hadn't been aware of the fact that there would be such profound cultural differences. I was aware that there would be some issues, but I wasn't aware of how different life is actually over there and I think that this is something people will only understand if they have actually lived in a completely different culture for a while. In Germany, I have never had issues like this at all with my ex girlfriends. My role as a man was never in question. I grew up in a society in which men an
  5. I think you're right about the boundaries. We were talking about boundaries every now and again but then she didn't stick to her own rules and that's when I was having a hard time sticking to them myself. When she says I need to leave in the morning but then suggests watching a film together, my conclusion is that she doesn't want me to leave. Even if she is an indirect person, it doesn't make any sense to offer an activity that leads to the exact opposite of what you want to do, right? If she had wanted me to leave, she could have just not said anything and then I would have left. You'r
  6. The thing is that duing our first 3,5 months, yes she was my ideal partner. We got along really well. We felt really comfortable in each other's company. We were a good team. But when I look at our last month then I would say: No, she wasn't my ideal partner. That's why I'd like to know what happened during the last month, what made her change her behaviour. I think it was a combination of many things but I am very certain it had something to do with the fact I was ill 3 times and felt very dependent and insecure (I couldn't find a new apartment, I didn't know about my flights, about my f
  7. Yes, you're definitely right about that. The problem is that I had arrived end of december last year. I was doing my internship at the hospital and then 2 months later they initiated a very tough 4-month lockdown. I was basically imprisoned in my apartment- sometimes I wouldn't see another human being for 2 weeks in a row. It made me feel very depressed. It was a nightmare, I was living in Guadalajara for a year and I didn't get to know much of the culture. In fact, it was only after meeting her that I was finally getting to know the Mexican culture. She was basically my first real social cont
  8. Thanks for your answer. I think punching bag explains it pretty well. I think, she was projecting the stress and pressure she was feeling at work on me. I think, she was thinking that I was stealing her time when in fact it was only her job and her poor time management. And yes, you're right, I have to accept that she decided against me. It's just that sometimes it seems to me that dating in Mexico works in a totally different way than what we're used to. There is so much more drama involved. They breakup up and get back together and act like nothing's happenened. It seems to be part of
  9. Hi guys, I need your advice. Sorry for the long text... I tried to keep it as short as possible. I find myself in a very complicated situation right now. I'm 33 years old and from Germany. I went to México for a one-year academic exchange. In June, I met my ex (34 years old) and we had been together for 5 months when she broke up with me 3 weeks ago. The first 3,5 months, the honey moon stage, were obviously very nice. We both enjoyed each other’s company. We were both really heavily into each other- on many levels: personally, sexually etc. There was a huge attraction between us and
  10. Hi guys, sorry for the long text. I couldn't cut it any sorter unfortunately... I find myself in a very complicated situation right now. I went to México for a one-year exchange. In June, I met my ex and we had been together for 5 months when she broke up with me 3 weeks ago. The first 3,5 months, the honey moon stage, were obviously very nice. We both enjoyed each other’s company. We were both really heavily into each other- on many levels: personally, sexually etc. There was a huge attraction between us. During the first three months, she had a lot of free time, because she wasn’t
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