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Everything posted by Hopeful333

  1. Also I should add there is no way besides a car to travel around here lol.
  2. So I don't have a car, and he lives rather far from me. He deff still has it because the next day he told me he has it and I told him to please hold on to it because of how important it was and he said he will. It just seems like he is being a douche bag to me rn and I can't figure out what to do.
  3. Heyy so I hope this is the right forum, but to summarize as best as I can. There is this guy I've been hanging out with who I really like. Anyway I ended up leaving an expensive earring my mom gifted to me at his place (unintentionally I swear). Anyways I really really need it back (like urgent) since my mom is coming to visit and she will 100% notice if they're gone. I can't think of a lie to say pertaining to why I am not wearing them. I have asked for them back but he is being really like weird about it. In the sense that he doesn't understand how badly I need them and won't make time to give it to me. What should I say? I've explained the situation already but he's kind of just like "damn"
  4. As someone who was in an emotionally abusive relationship and didn't realize it until later, you are in one but as mentioned before it's something we know but can't say out loud. I know it's hard to tell you friends and family but it's what is going to help you take the courage to leave. Please do, as he has showed he doesn't want to change or deal with the issue. Also this could turn physical as he sees you don't confide in your loved ones and put up with the emotional aspect. Go back home dear, this isn't the relationship you need
  5. Hi everyone, my freshman year of college I met a guy who I became very close with (let's call him CJ for the sake of everything). We were so close that people would always joked we would get married but our relationship was more of that of a brother and sister. He was an amazing special person. I don't think he had a bad bone in his body. Sadly over some time we drifted apart. Mainly since we both got into relationships and started doing our own things but regardless we were still friends. That being said I got the phone call from a mutual friend of ours telling me that CJ had committed suicide. My heart was shattered as I had no idea he was even depressed as he always seemed happy. In fact I had dinner with him just a few days earlier. When I first heard the news I didn't know what to do. I cried a lot and confided in people but I was also very angry with him. I was angry that he left so soon as he was so special. So I just decided to move on with my life. I stopped thinking about it and just did everything normally. Now that was a year ago. And today I saw a video, you can't see him in the video but you can hear his voice. I lost it, I can't stop crying because I miss my friend so much, I feel as if he had helped me and I did nothing to return the favor. I couldn't help him and now he's gone. I am not angry at him anymore, I love him as a sister would love her own brother and I am sad that we didn't spend much time together. I didn't think that after a year I would still feel so much pain, even more that originally. I'm sorry for the long post, just needed to get this off my chest
  6. I'm sorry, you seem very level headed to me. You made a mistake of calling him a loser but god if that's the worst thing you've done thus far then props to you. She should have had your back in this case. As my parents always established the rules "my house my rules, if you don't like it go somewhere else"
  7. Yes yes and yes! Also if he is being assaulted why does he need to leave?? Also we all know the double standards of men calling in abuse i mean come on now.. This violence could escalate.
  8. I disagree with the person above, I'm sorry but first off she HIT him! that is abuse regardless of the gender, and if she was hitting him, the husband had every right if he wanted her to leave. Also his step-son threatened to hit him as well. Violence of any kind is not okay so yes if someone threatened to hurt me/already did then.... Also you're right, you have other kids in the house and if this person is being disrespectful then it needs to be addressed. I do agree that a relationship and parenting ground needs to be established between the family to make it work but it isn't uncommon for step children to not respect their step parent. Usually they feel bitterness towards them. My advice is getting counseling for the whole family and establish communication.
  9. Yes I completely understand what you mean in the sense that they aren't obligated to text me. I feel as if I did do a good job reciprocating, for example one guy I was talking to likes to make art and we were talking about that, and I insisted he show me his art in person and he said he would love to. I felt like that was enough to make it clear I had an intent to go further? If not then I am not sure what else to do haha
  10. Hi yes I should deff clarify! The guys are people I know through mutual friends so real life. I would say the conversations started out very friendly, like we would just start texting and asking about each other (majors, funny stuff, interests) and talk about our mutual friends. (BTW this happened with about 4 guys now). What happens next is each guy becomes relatively flirty either by complimenting me etc.. which is nice and I always respond with a delightful response thanking them. Hahaha I don't mention my ex I promise! This exchange usually goes on for like a few days but then stops suddenly. I would 100% love to try actually dating again however I never get the opportunity to because they just vanish :( I haven't let my intentions clear for what I want so I'm not sure what they think I am looking for? Like I haven't said if I wanted sex, or something more so that's what confuses me.
  11. Hello! I am still relatively young but I will try to give my opinion as best as I can! Even at my age dating is still rather difficult esp if you are trying to do more than hook-up. I think you are 100% doing the right thing in terms of improving your life style and doing new awesome things. I'm not sure how your last relationship went down but being able to thrive months after it always makes me happy for that person! I think that you're doing the right stuff however with the dates you're going on maybe you're too focused on seeing if that person is "the one". Maybe dating was easier back then because you were more open to anyone since you were younger and didn't feel the need to find that person. What I can say is DO NOT lower your standard (ofc they should be realistic)! You'll find that person, it's all about just share luck of chance, or intentional dates. And as someone who did once find love at the club I can tell you anything could happen...anywhere. *Also what I can tell you is when I first started dating my now ex-bf I was at a terrible place in my life (mentally, academically, etc..) but we still fell in love. Funny enough now that I am single I am also the most successful I've been since starting college (I improved mentally, grade-wise, and I am happier than ever). What I am trying to say is yes success and good health are attractive but it gets more complex than that! Keep doing the great things you've been doing and I promise you'll be okay :)
  12. Hi all! So a little background my ex-bf broke up with me about 5 months ago, in my last thread I spoke about my lack of sexual/romance desire and said I am going to wait to get that back. However I will say I have been talking to some guys. Something I've been starting to notice is that for some reason every guy I converse with just stops talking to me suddenly. These are also guys I know (they attend my university). How it always start is the guy messages me and we have a pretty nice conversation. They will be flirty etc.. and they would continuing to text me for a few days. And then suddenly I will respond with something that warrants a response and BOOM! no response. I am not sure why this keeps happening since they were the ones who initially started pursuing me and it kind of makes me a little sad Not really so much as I saw anything of much potential, esp since I'm not sure what I (or my body) wants right now. It's just more of a sudden loneliness or feeling dumb. All responses welcomed!
  13. It does :) I am in no rush to jump into a new relationship (or guy) and if it takes me five years I can wait! I guess what made me initially think it was abnormal was people always telling me to "move on" or to find someone else. Or even just sleep with someone new. Not many people seemed to understand my dilemma of not even having the interest to
  14. Great to see you too! And yes I would actually like to see that as well!
  15. Wow! It's so crazy to come here months after my breakup and read this! When my ex first dumped me these videos were kind of the only thing that got me out of bed (which maybe was good for a little bit) but I would spend hours watching these videos and I would literally take notes. I have to say I am ashamed to say as a econ/business major I was almost compelled to purchase these services. I should have known at the time it was men/women trying to make money off of broken hearts. Thankfully I didn't. I mean what's not to say that maybe...just maybe they are trying to help but honestly their repeated videos of "using no contact" to make your ex miss you is totally wrong! Sadly had I not found these videos maybe I would have moved on faster, but since they kind of gave me false hope I hung around for a bit. Needless to say I didn't get back with my ex nor do I ever want to. I guess one good thing I can say is these videos were actually where I first learned about NC. Of course these experts use it more as a manipulation tool, however after about 2 months my desire to get my ex back became less and less to the point of where I am now!
  16. Hmm strangely enough I don't have sexual desire towards anyone. If anything I am no longer physically/sexually attracted to my ex which is such a crazy thought haha. I don't want to force myself by do things I am not ready for! but according to everyone I am just going to have to see when my body is finally ready :)
  17. Thanks for the responses everyone :) I’m glad to know I’m not alone. It was something I didn’t know how to bring up without sounding strange. TMI I was always a very active person so when I started feeling this way it was not something I knew how to deal with. I guess only time will let me know when I’m ready again
  18. Hello, I'm new here but I feel like my experience can help you. I believe the general consensus is that closure is never enough. Even if you get it (which I sort of did) it's never going to satisfy you. When my ex broke up with me it was all I wanted. Then we had the let's get coffee and sit down and talk type of closure. Honestly it was really hard and if anything it made me feel a little worse because he blamed me for everything. So that was his closure but it wasn't for me. In my opinion closure doesn't exist in the sense of you'll understand everything and move on. Sometimes it's better to leave it where it ended There's this quote I love which says "sometimes the only closure you need is realizing you deserve better" and clearly if she broke up with you via text you deserve better!!
  19. Aww thanks guys. It just seemed so out of character for me I guess the weirdest part is I have no desire to get back with my ex and I thought once I got past that stage I'll be okay with finding someone else
  20. Hello all, I hope this is the right forum but if not I apologize. To sum everything up a few months ago I had my first heartbreak. My ex-boyfriend broke up with me and everything that followed was horrible. I went through the stages of not being able to eat or sleep and for weeks I would cry everyday. (Also I do have some mental health issues so the breakup deff triggered a bad reaction). But that's not why I'm here lol. I'm proud to say now I am so happy and blessed. I was able to get better with the support of a counselor and my family. I feel indifferent about my ex and realized what I deserve (which is better). Now after that intro here's my issue.... it's been nearly 5 months since the breakup and I do not even have the desire to talk to other guys. I don't want to date anyone for a while which I suppose is normal but it gets a little stranger. I've almost lost all sexual desire as well. There has been opportunities of course as (as im in college) but I just don't feel any way about it. I'm still attracted to men but I just don't know when I will be able to open up again esp if I don't even feel the need to go on dates and talk to them. Is this normal?? I'm not sure as this is the first time I've been in this situation. I would appreciate some help thank you very much
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