puzzle

Happy New Year to everyone and tks again for ur reply. Well, I am usually tempermental but not as often as when with him though. I didn't treat myself as I AM the wife but his wife is mentally sick and he can never divorce her (not my intention too)thereforeeee I can tolerate HER but not other women. because they r just physically together and they maintain the relationship becoz of the family's sake. I know clearly that I can never be #1 in his life..but as long as I am the ONLY woman other than his wife then I am happy with it. I believe he is honest with me and not maintaining a relationship with anyone else at the place he lives (again, his wife doesn't COUNT) and he trust me 100% too. We both hve no obligation to each other and I don't MIND he is acutally a married man. Do anyone hv a better idea what a man could do if he got a mentally sick's wife for 20yrs if he couldn't divorce her? The reason why I post my problem here is I need HELPS how to control my temper when there r times he failed to come online for a few days NOT how I should see this relationship, isn't it? Anyways, I appreciated your comments.

he's married when I met him, the 2nd baby is 12yrs old now. In short, he has a wife with mental problem back to 20yrs ago. We hv knwn each other back to 2yrs ago and we were just friends at the beginning. He didn't talk much abt his wife until we became lover and I realized abt the sickness of his wife aftr our relationships promoted to lover. (I don't think many ppl would mention the sickness of their family member unless they r really close friends) I hv never been to the place he lives and I never want to find out his story coz if someone really wanted to lie to u purposely, they lie to u anyway. I trust my instinct, I could be wrong of coz but aren't we talking abt how to control my anger when I didn't see him online?

ah no...she was cured but then right aftr she gave birth to the 2nd child, her sickness back again until now. no, I don't think he cheated on me. I am very sure of this. Rmbr, trust and honesty is very important in any kinds of relationships.

He can't and won't (I dont think he should either) leave his wife becoz his wife has been mentally sick aftr given birth to their first child. It's a sad story. He stay becoz of the family's sake and I think he should stay with them too.

Thank you for ur suggestion. A friend of mine suggested me the same thing just don't press the SEND button. but like I said b4, I couldn't control my anger when I was missing him like hell and I did things I later regret.

thanks for the reply. Well no offense at all. I knew he is married since the day we met but then we became lover later. I love this man with my whole heart...maybe I am old fashioned but I am those type of one-man woman....when I am with the guy...I just won't hang out with other guys. I know he is far away but there is no reason for me to betray him even he wouldn't even know abt it. This guy is very mature and caring and with an extremely kind character. Most importantly, I enjoy every moment we spent together. I guess thats what we called chemistry. I had guys aftr me but I just don't hv any interest on them.

well, thank you for suggesting me to call. First of all, I hv no problem without him NEAR becoz the fact that I am actually in a LDR also he is MARRIED so I shouldn't hv expected anything too much. I understand the damage of my bad temper and I did read those anger management books almost every time AFTER I made a booboo (scolded or yelled at him badly) In fact, I regretted every single time aftr I did that to him even b4 I found my book....and of coz it's always too late. I get angry easily when I didn't see him online. I often say and do stuff to him (scold at him in the email) and I later regret. I am sick and tired of repeating the same crap really and I hate myself for not being able to control myself and hurt his feelings constantly even tho I always call and extend my apology to him or email him the nxt day. The WORST thing is that every single times when he got the call from me. He ALWAYS stay calm, talk to me in his usual tone and never bring up the mistake I made. (Does anyone knows that feeling was?? I felt even MORE guilty becoz he's so nice to me even tho I treated him so nasty!) I don't mind calling him at all and offer him any apology becoz I am those type of ppl who would admit the mistake and apologise quickly and I KNOW I am always easily be forgiven. He knows very well this problem has been bothering me a lot and he always put up with me and everytime I ask for a break up (yes...I always ask for break up when I was mad at him....so shame of myself!) he always say I understand you, and I will give u time, I knw its tough to change someone in a short period of time but I will give you time and I am sure you will change it gradually and remember, u hv to overcome your weaknessess for yourself but not for anyone. There were times I sincerely asked for a break up becoz I felt really shamed hurting him contantly but he always tell me that he doesn't want a break up and he will never leave me and he knows me very well thereforeeee he can handle it. Just kept explaining to me that I hv to face my problem instead of staying away and that's just a way avoiding my problem and I should learn to control my emotion and don't let it control me. Sorry this reply is really long but I just want you guys to understand how nice a bf I got and how nasty a gf I am. Can anyone give me any advises please? I really love him and I hv no intention to leave him and I am sure he loves me too but WHAT TO DO to control my temper? Please help. I really DO need you guys help! Thanks a lot!

I am in a long distance relationship, I scolded and questioning my bf badly when I didn't see him online for two days only. yeah I know I am bad and shouldn't hv reacted like that but then when I finally saw him on last nite, I just couldn't control my temper. We chatted from 4 til 8am and at the end of our conversation, I said to him, ok don't call, don't come online again and I don't wanna see u anymore. (well, I often said that to him esp when I was mad) but now I am missing him like hell.

Thank you Muneca

hi there, I am new to this web site. Was reading the comments and suggestions of other members posted in here back to a while ago...and suddenly feeling so lonely. Have a great day!