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You're projecting, I don't agree with what you're saying at all. There is no accountability needed to be taken when it's blatantly obvious the 1 off mistake I made and I've learned my lesson. Also comparing a bad decision to drink prior to a date to s serial cheater is nonsensical and ridiculous. Have a good day gamon, I ask kindly you not respond to this thread anymore as it appears you have nothing positive nor constructive to contribute. Also just to reiterate: Your mistakes don't define who you are. It's what you do after you have made the mistakes that makes all the difference. Every mistake you make is a learning experience. They don't make you less capable. But it's how you correct them or learn from them that defines you. No one is perfect. You can allow them to define you but I won't.

This is where you're absolutely wrong gamon. Your mistakes don't define who you are. It's what you do after you have made the mistakes that makes all the difference. Every mistake you make is a learning experience. They don't make you less capable. But it's how you correct them or learn from them that defines you. No one is perfect. You can allow them to define you but I won't. It has nothing to do with me of course when discussing her possibly reconsidering continuing to date me. At this point what she thinks is irrelevant as well as continuing to deep dive, contemplate, worry, or try to over analyze since I've decided not to reach out or try to amend things and push her further away. Now it's about me and moving forward and has 0 to do with her. It's all pretty simple and at this point we are beating a dead horse. I appreciate everyone else's responses, not to be rude but I'm not finding your posts helpful though I still thank you for chiming in.

I refuse to let someone attack my character. I asked for assistance with a situation with a female not for someone to make assumptions about me and then run with it. I have loads of success with women. I have been in multiple successful long term relationships where partners wanted to marry me and we ended things on good terms. I'm in good standings with almost all these women to this day. I am regarded as a man with integrity, morals, who is empathic, caring, and thoughtful. I have loads of respect and love within my family, social circle, and work place. I had a 1 OFF situation, I rarely have more than 1-2 drinks on dates. Plenty of dates without drinking whatsoever. And there absolutely has never been a situation where I showed up the way I did for that one bad date and bad decision on my part (I fully take blame). If you're going to use this thread as a way to bash me, project your previous experiences with certain men or try to type cast me as someone I'm not, or judge someone you've never met nor spoken with, do me a favor and save yourself the time and skip posting. Everyone has made it clear, I don't think this one can be salvaged, it's time to let this one go and chalk it up as a lesson. Moving on...

Fair enough, life goes on :).

I can't take her last text which was warm at face value "hey love, sorry I been really busy but we can get together next week" as some positive sign. I responded to that and said "let's set a definite date, what day is good for you?". If she wanted to see me she would have responded to it. Unless somehow she never saw the text or just somehow "forgot" about it. Seems like everyone thinks I should just let it be. Someone said it's about my ego, the ego exists in all things. I can't completely deny that you're not wrong about trying to win her back, why would I not want to when we had something great going. Here is what it really is form my perspective, we have similar views on life, she's a 10/10 physically imo, we had loads in common, and we had a very electric chemistry on our dates w/ the potential for a lot more. I think everyone pretty much has convinced me to let it be. The odds that the text message evokes something differently out of her is very low. Women are like cats, they'll come and go as they please and only care how they feel about you not how you feel for them. Anyway thanks for anyone who took time out there day to respond to this.

I have not sent this message, I was waiting to get feedback from you all. Well if she knows it won't happen again then I'd imagine she would text as it was an isolated incident and again she made it clear she loved my energy prior to that date. This is a women who went from VERY hot to cold after that date. Prior to it, she invited me over after our first hang out, cooked a fancy dinner for me, had me spend the night, and essentially spent two weeks together with the entire weekend from Friday-Sunday without leaving each-other. I been with enough women to know she had high interest and also know it can flip very quickly. It doesn't matter how I feel about her but how she feels about me. Sure maybe it's not worth shooting a message but what's the worst harm that comes from asking her out again. Rejection? Do I really maintain some sense of "honor" by not messaging her. The last time I messaged her was a week and 3 days ago.

What do you all think of this message? Hey xxxxxxxx. I know I blew our last date. It was unacceptable, completely out of character and I will not let that happen again. I'm still interesting in getting to know you. That being said would you down to get together for dinner?

All well said, I'll be in day long in person work events and won't have a chance to reach out but likely Friday I'll take some of the considerations here, give it one more shot, and if she's not receptive life moves on.

Everyone had really good advice, thanks so much! Not pressed to make any moves atm, got a lot going on career wise, travel, others I am dating (in early phases, 1-2 dates) etc. I'll give it a few days and if I feel so inclined I'll try c. Though I'd really like to send a sincere apology I agree with others, it rehashes the negative feelings and comes off desperate. (Rejection breeds obsession). Maybe I could send something playful. "Hey xxxxx, how are you? Would love to get together again and I will have that same energy you enjoyed on the first couple dates. Let me know." That's a play on her saying she loved my energy I had on all the dates but the drunk one was not the same.

Thanks everyone for the feedback, I appreciate it.

It seems odd she responded with "hey love, and went in deep about what was going on with her work". She could have just said hey there, or hey. And rather than say let's aim for next week she could have just been honest if she really was trying not see me again.

I'll try to keep this as brief as possible but you'll need context so here go... Thanks in advance for any advice. So I met a gorgeous Brazilian girl out at a bar few weeks ago. We had a drink, chatted, and she decided to come home with me. We only kissed, had a good time, and she went home, she made it clear she wouldn't spend the night that night. The next day we hung out which was a Saturday and had an amazing night together, she spent the night, we spent all of Sunday together. The following weekend she cooked me dinner, I stayed over on Friday, Saturday we hung at my place and she spent the night again. All of these dates-time together had been super enjoyable and pretty electric, organic, and promising. I lined up another date this time on a Saturday, up to this point she was pursuing a lot, texting a lot, communicative etc. The day of the date, I found out a friend was here from out of town so we did day drinking at my pool, and hosted a few friends over. I lost track of time and an hour before the arrival of this lady I had drank quite a bit. She immediately noticed and was like "this isn't the same energy you had before". I explained to her I had been drinking and she said she wished I had rescheduled and she wouldn't have minded. Needless to say we went out, dinner was fine, but at some point some miscommunication happened. I thought she was asking to leave and go home and so I started to try to convince her that I was fine. She was getting more frustrated and so at that point I left her alone and did my own thing. The next morning she sent me a video of her explaining what upset her, that she just needed 10 minutes to herself and would have went home with me, also what went wrong, etc. I called her the next day she picked up and I told her it was completely unlike me, apologized and said I'd love to see her again. We had some very limited texts back and forth trying to arrange a time to meet a few days after that. She kept saying she's super stressed and busy and we never set a definite date. I waited a few days and reached out and said hey, would love to see you again. She responded "hey love, things are super busy yada yada, long text about her work but that she could see me the following week. I said sure let's set a definite date, when are you free? She never responded to that text. It's been probably a week and a half since then. My question is should I a) send her text act as if everything is cool and keep things just conversational, "hey, has work calmed down for you?" or just small talk b) call her c) text her "hey, would love to see you again, when are you free?" d) explain to her that what happened on the last date would never happen again and I'd like to see her if she's still interested (very blunt approach) Thoughts?

Not chasing she was just higher in my prospects mostly due to our mental connection, deep conversations, mutual passions, etc. Also her opening up to me about her previous abusive boyfriend making it difficult for her to open up just kind of made me feel like she was really opening up to me. It also just felt fun and effortless. I had went on a few dates with another girl but no weren't exclusive. But my understanding from her cousin is she was actually in a relationship (not dating) while we were talking. Regardless I don't think there's much more to talk about here. She's asking for a friendship and to hang out again. I could either agree to be friends (not beneficial), be cordial and wish her luck with this new guy, or just not respond. Either way not putting effort into it anymore. Time for me to move on and put energy into those who appreciate and value me.

Thanks everyone, great advice. Sending you all positive vibes for taking your time out the day to offer me advice.

Well one red flag few days ago, I didn't mention this. I was chilling with her guy cousin who is my best friend for years now (how I initially met her). He asked if we were still talking, I said yes it's going well but haven't heard form her since I went on my trip. He mentioned "I swore she was dating someone". My heart kinda sunk and I told him if she is, she's cheating on him (again we been hooking up for essentially two months with romantic/deep conversations, flirting, and getting vulnerable). But again lack of transparency from her end on another guy until this past text so I really don't know if she's just been in a relationship all along. Two weeks ago I was hanging out with her sisters, and a few of her other friends so it's all a bit confusing. My best bet might be to just say "Hey, I have some romantic feelings for you so I don't think just being friends will work for me. if you change your mind lmk. Otherwise I wish you the best with this guy."