strongemily

I guess this is the right thread? I recently read on this site somewhere about the site exboyfriendrecovery and read some articles and the no contact rules... And since then this is day 3, even when he texted me I haven't replied. Well today monday, since my break up and a whole bunch else that's going on in my life I decided to see a reputable psychic... Basically, about my relationship there were cards that said don't wait on him this time is for you to grow and even if he says he forgives you he hasn't yet, you really hurt him. So she goes on to say there will be a window of time where he will come back in the summer but take this time to work on you because he doesn't know yet. Ok believe what you want but other things she said about stuff that has nothing to do with my ex has me believe she is legit. Anyway, as much as I want to continue no contact cause I want time to grow and whatnot I also have more than any other day in months want to call him and tell him about other things this psychic said. So since it's only been 3 days should I break no contact to talk to him about these other things? I mean he doesn't even know we aren't in contact cause one day he was telling me we are still friends keep communication open... But then I read the articles and was like that's what I'm going to do. What do you all think?

I don't think you should tell him what the psychic told you. Think of it this way: you can tell him all about the crazy experience with the psychic when you are back together. I don't think there is any reason to tell him about that! How will it make him feel? He would probably be sort of freaked out. The emotions he is feeling are going to be raw and he is not able to think rationally; that's why you need to give him space to let him recover from whatever happened. Don't worry about what he's doing; worry about what you're doing for yourself. When your thoughts drift to him, refocus on yourself and what you can do right now in this moment. A hobby, studying, exercise, whatever you like.

Day 23 for me. Arghhh ..this week is been hard. I am almost tempted to just text but too scared to do so. Is this ever going to get better? Am I ever going to be myself again? I wish there was a magic pill I can swallow and make this awful pain go away...

I know you are tempted to text, but think, what good would come of it? You will either be disappointed because he ignores it, or he will text something cold or otherwise anything but "I want to get back together", and you don't deserve to feel disappointed or upset! Anything you have to say to him, he does not deserve to hear. Of course you will be yourself again... When you find yourself asking questions like that, if you will ever get better etc, you should give yourself an answer: YES! Tell yourself, "Yes, I am strong, I am awesome, I WILL get through this pain!" Everyone experiences pain and grief, and that is okay. Accept it, and also accept the fact that you have your entire life ahead of you and there are so many important things in your life. YOU are important! You do not need to let yourself suffer

Woke up feeling sad this morning.. Thinking of things that might or might not be true.. Why am i trying to make my self miserable.. Its been six weeks why am i going backwards

Tind, it's okay! Some wisdom I received from a friend: Recovering from emotional pain is like a spiral. You may feel like you are going in circles, and by that I mean you ending up back at square 1, but in reality you are still making progress, just as a spiral keeps going even as it circles around.

Try not to ruminate on thoughts that may or may not be true. When you catch yourself doing so, practice mindfulness. Observe your mind by imagining you are watching your thoughts pass by. Calm yourself by counting 10 breaths, then starting over at 1 and counting 10 again. Do not judge your thoughts or feelings, but watch them pass and let them go. Keep yourself in the present and think of what you could be doing now instead of dwelling in the past. These are some things that help me!

(I didn't realize that I had posted here already this morning, lol, I feel like I have gone through a big change today.)

Thank you for breaking up with me.

I have never had my heart broken before. I have never experienced the pain of truly losing someone that I was completely vulnerable to, that I loved and cherished. I believe that to grow and develop into a strong, good-hearted person, that this is necessary. I will accept the pain and use it to grow, and I know I will have days where I feel bitter towards you, but I will do my best to truly hope only the best for you. I wish you happiness, just as I wish for myself to grow into a strong and bright person that spreads only light and positivity to others. Today I have truly begun the journey to re-building myself into the person I want to be. Thank you for your love and strength.

I can't do this. This is too hard. Please see me. This going out of your way to avoid me is ridiculous; if it's so emotional for you to see me yet not be with me, why don't we just figure something else out? Why did you have to break up with me right before you were moved to an office right next to mine, making it so easy for us to finally have in-sync lives where we could have lunch together and see each other during work and carpool Why did you give up on us You told me before that we could work through the fighting, that you loved me so much and would do everything you could to never hurt me ever again. Are you still flipping back and forth? You said you should feel like you're sure about marrying someone after 4 years and you're not with me, but then you also said you can easily imagine being with me when you're old and retired and being happy. You said you will have to settle for someone else, because no one could ever know you or love you like I do, and you would never know and love anyone else like you did me. Why can't we just try couple's counseling??

I know any answer to this would only hurt. He would say "I just do not want to be in a relationship with you or anyone right now, I have much less anxiety now being single. It is really painful, but I need to go through this pain. I can't see you. If it is meant to be, it will work out somehow. But it hasn't been working for a long time and I can't go back to that, and I can't do that to you either. We would just go back to the way we were in a month or so."

A friend at work told me that he was dating a woman for a year, but in that year they were barely together due to military deployments. First she was gone for 6 months, then they were together for 2 months, and then he was gone for 6 months. He said that during that time, they did a lot of horrible things to each other, which I'm guessing included cheating and lying. He said they ended up breaking up, but he said they never questioned that they loved each other. He said it was the most difficult 6 months for the both of them... after 6 months, they got back together, and he said it was difficult at first to fully forgive each other... but they did it!!! and now they are married and so happy

This is really encouraging!! I have had a very difficult morning, wanting so badly to contact my ex.

I'm on Day 2 of NC, after trying to be NC for at least a week but he kept texting me or something. The last time we texted, he said he still thought of me as the most beautiful woman... but I know I cannot text him until he indicates that he is actually willing to be in a relationship again. It's just so hard.. there is a good chance I will run into him at work, and when I do see him, it's so hard not to stare. I know it's very difficult for him too, and that makes it easier to stay so in love with him.

To pass the time all morning instead of texting him, I've been meditating and reading self-help on how to overcome insecurity and also been on here