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RobTaylor10

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  1. She also claims she’s never hit any of her exes before. She says I provoked her to be this way. Yet now of course it’s all love and kisses
  2. I dont want to keep watching it or lying to her about it which is why I told her i was ok with her putting the apps on my devices because i saw it as an opportunity to stop since i wouldnt have access to it. But i hate what it makes me feel like. Like im constantly under watch. im constantly thinking is that worth it
  3. its also gotten to the point of even when i use my laptop she can see i logged on and she asks me what i was doing on it. but she basically told me that those parental custodial apps are the only way she can start to trust that i wont go behind her back.
  4. It shouldnt be that important to me and its not a dealbreaker to me in the fact like if i cant watch it i dont want to be with her. I do want to stop to avoid long term affects but that mindset of wanting what you cant have is starting to creep in
  5. Thanks for the replies. Its so hard. When her and I don't argue or go through this makeup period, it feels like heaven. Back to all the loving texts, the cuddling, the intimacy. Its blinding almost and makes it so hard to think about the possibility of letting go. I hate that I have to be monitored and I do want to change my ways, but the thought of that is overtaking and becoming a point to where she forbid be to do it and took away all options im in the mindset of wanting it even more now that i cant have it
  6. My gf and I have been in a relationship for 10 months. I’m at the point where I’ve thought about marriage even buying a ring, however I find myself questioning things more and more. A lot of things stem from my issues I brought into the relationship. In the beginning, my gf told me she didn’t watch me to ever watch ***** and gave me the option to exit the relationship if it was to be a problem. I said it wouldn’t, however I did keep watching *****. I have a very hyper active sex drive and mind. I like watching ***** because it’s enjoyable and gives the feeling of something different, even though my gf and I have sex frequently and I do love her. It’s just the fact that I want to enjoy sex in whatever way although I would never physically cheat on her. When she caught me watching it the first time, I lied to her saying I would stop. This happened again 2 more times to the point where she installed monitoring apps on my phone and computer. Those still weren’t enough as I found ways around them to still watch *****. I don’t watch it everyday maybe once a week but still can’t seem to want to stop. She’s caught me two more times since. Every time this has happened I’ve lied and denied but the truth always comes out Every time she catches me, she packs up all her things and leaves and says we’re done although we always end up talking and making up. However, recently, it’s gotten to the point where she is constantly so hurt at the thought that I lied to her about it and that I had the audacity to look at other women on ***** sites, she becomes triggered emotionally very easily. Last couple of fights she has started to get so upset and has lost control, destroying gifts I’ve given her, tearing up our pictures and hitting me. It started with strong slaps to the arm but has resulted in her pushing me aggressively and slapping me hard in the head. And yes I’m bigger than her but it still hurts a lot. She blames it on me emotionally cheating and lying which she claims is emotional abuse. Every time though we still make up however the arguments still persist and we both seem to get annoyed with each other more and more. My heart says to stay but my gut tells me this is the end. So torn on what to do
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