misstinkerbell

I know what you are saying bcs I am in the same situation. The contradiction in what he has said and how he has acted is blowing my mind literally! The books he offered me to read regarding values he pretended to strongly behold, the picture he painted of himself making me believe he is one hell of a stable, grounded, kind and gentle man. I am not exaggerating if I say almost EVERY single thing he said, he contradicted it in another way. I get dizzy even thinking about it. Hypocrisy to the t! Knowing how limited our time is on this planet, it makes me sad thinking how someone waste this precious time being a hypocrite! At the end of the day, you are the only one you have to face in the mirror!!! If it makes you feel better, just know hypocrisy is what defines people as such!!!

I had doubts too about the relationship because it was long distance (a 9-hr flight) but at least I was willing to give it a shot. Working through differences, compromise, and accepting that everyone is different is what I think builds an emotional bond / relationship that lasts. I suppose at the end of the day, he just didn't love me enough. His gut feeling was more important than me.

Bigdeal123......sorry my post gave you a shiver. I've heard the term emotional vampires, yes. This woman gave me so much happiness during our time, we even discussed how we didn't expect what was happening, how she said she was glad I was so happy because I deserved it after the nightmare divorce crap I went through. And she was happy, I could tell....so happy...everything just clicked. But her sending me those pics of the kids from school....then her little girl hugging me yesterday.....it has been too much for me to overcome last night and today. I've felt it in my chest like I did when she broke up with me....in my shoulders. I haven't initiated any contact....was all her....she knows how I feel about her....she knows her little girl misses me...I can obviously tell she hasn't bad mouthed me to her little one....its honestly to the point I don't know if she wants me to reach out or if she's just giving me breadcrumbs. She's pregnant with my baby....and its killing me that I can't be there and supportive for her....because she doesn't want me to be. And whether that's all her hormones talking in conjunction with her thyroid med adjustment and anti depressant meds......she stole my heart. She said I'd stolen hers.....and I actually naively thought her little one hugging me yesterday would cause just a little stir on the heart strings.

 

But....NC day 1...again. I haven't deserved what she's done to me but I am here and I will survive and I will be a father to the baby....and her little girl if she'll let me one day.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can feel your pain reading your posts. It's hard to deal when the other person who stole your heart told you you stole her/his heart and then one day, poof, they're gone, hanging you out to dry instead of working things out together. Please take care of yourself. You want to be strong enough to be there for your baby down the road. My thoughts are with you.

Day 8. Feeling miserable and depressed. Missing him like crazy... Even the supposedly fun series I'm watching, those that I used to like - the words they say, the name they use, remind me of him...

Day 7. Today has been hard. Couldn't stop the tears from running down throughout the day. I miss him soooo much and I really want him back. Just can't stop thinking about him... That said I also know that unless he changes his mentality, unless he wants us to be in the same place (either he moves or I move), we won't last even if we get back together...

If you're not sorry, don't say it.

If the only reason you would say you're sorry is to initiate contact, then that is the wrong reason.

 

I wrote my ex a letter when I dropped off her stuff a few weeks back. I needed to stuff out of here, needed to get some thing off my chest. But although she was home, I just dropped of the box, sent her a text that it was outside her door, and left before she opened the door. Because I did those things for me. Not for her. I needed to get those things off my chest, I didn't need to have a chat with her about that.

I mean I'm sorry for the part I played in the breakup, but then again, if he put in more effort into the LDR and was a bit more attentive, I would have acted differently... What was your ex's reaction to the letter?

Yup its too soon. You wont feel any better for saying sorry, and if he doesn't respond, you'll feel much worse. Say sorry if you run into eachother down the road. Don't give up!

I won't initiate contact. And we're in a LDR so I won't bump into him either... To be honest, I'm sorry but in a way I'm not. I was really sick for a while, in a LDR, so yes, I might have been a bit emotional, cried sometimes on the phone and wanted a little more TLC from him, but I was understanding and never bombarded him messages or calls (hardly any calls in fact). Never nagged him either besides telling him that I missed him... Was I really expecting too much from him?

Day 6. Busy day at work, but been thinking a lot about the reason(s) (those he said and didn't say) to the breakup. Was also thinking about the mistakes I made too. Very tempted to break no contact and tell him I'm sorry for the mistakes I made in the relationship without asking for another chance between us, but I guess it's just too soon to say anything...

Day 5. I still don't know what exactly made him thinks there's no spark between us when he convinced me otherwise before. And I still don't know why he can think there's no future between us based on his gut feeling, when we haven't given it a try and work things out. I'm still devastated, yet I know there's no point of me contacting him...