roo

Excellent advice. I'm printing it out and posting it on my fridge. Thanks so much!

The song that relates to me now - after 6 weeks of NC (and holding strong) is Phil Collins' "I Don't Care Anymore"

Well you can tell ev'ryone I'm a down disgrace

Drag my name all over the place.

I don't care anymore.

You can tell ev'rybody 'bout the state I'm in

You won't catch me crying 'cos I just can't win.

I don't care anymore I don't care anymore

I don't care what you say

I don't play the same games you play.

'Cos I've been talking to the people that you call your friends

And it seems to me there's a means to and end.

They don't care anymore.

And as for me I can sit here and bide my time

I got nothing to lose if I speak my mind.

I don't care anymore I don't care no more

I don't care what you say

We never played by the same rules anyway.

I won't be there anymore

Get out of my way

Let me by

I got better things to do with my time

I don't care anymore I don't care anymore

I don't care anymore I don't care anymore

Well, I don't care now what you say

'Cos ev'ry day I'm feeling fine with myself

And I don't care now what you say

Hey I'll do alright by myself

'Cos I know.

'Cos I remember all the times I tried so hard

And you laughed in my face 'cos you held all the cards.

I don't care anymore.

And I really ain't bothered what you think of me

'Cos all I want of you is just a let me be.

I don't care anymore D'you hear? I don't care no more

I don't care what you say

I never did believe you much anyway.

I won't be there no more

So get out of my way.

Let me by

I got better things to do with my time

I don't care anymore

D'you hear? I don't care anymore

I don't care no more

You listening? I don't care no more

No more

You know I don't care no more

no more no more no more....

He calls regularly for this and that, especially regarding our daughter.

My question is...your daughter is 15, why can't she be in contact with him? I came from a divorced household and I talked to my Dad from about 8 years on - since my Mother never did.

The only way your are going to be able to move on and find happiness in yourself is to have NC.

On July 4th, my b/f of 2 1/2 years called me - drunk - and informed me that he "is not in love with me." This did not come as a shock to me, but it was still very hurtful. I decided then and there to not talk to him anymore and was finished with his abuse. So, for four weeks I have done the NC thing. A week ago today, I found out he is seeing someone else and that really tore me apart. But then on Friday, he calls my cell phone and does not leave a message. Needless to say I have not returned his phone call. Every day I feel myself getting stronger and more accepting of his feeling and MY decision to move on.

This is the second time he has done this to me. In March, 2003, I got pg. He was angry and said he did not love me and never cared about me. I lost the baby and I attribute it to the stress. By the way, he accused me of making up the entire pg. So I had the doctor send him proof of my miscarriage. So for 7 months, I never called him, but he would call me about once a month - just to talk. I was pretty stupid back then and would actually answer his calls. Although he never wanted to see me or make an attempt to be with me. In November, 2003, I saw him at a race (we both run) and we started seeing each other again. I really thought we could make it work. At the same time, I thought I wouldn't let me heart get as involved as I did the first time - but I did and he's pulling the same crap all over again.

I am just so curious as to why if he does not love me, why is he trying to contact me? Why on earth would he do such a thing? Is he just trying to keep a "string" attached - just in case? If he does try to call again, should I continue to do the NC? How long before he gets the message?