Getting the Pose Just Right

Excerpted from
Every Young Man, God's Man : Confident, Courageous, and Completely His
By Stephen Arterburn, Kenny Luck, Mike Yorkey

In their book Posers, Fakers, and Wannabes, Brennan Manning and Jim Hancock introduce us to a character they call "The Poser." They argue that The Poser (a person who pretends to be someone he is not) lives in all of its. I saw a lot of myself in the following story in which Jim recounts the images The Poser created for him-images that would Ix* accepted by other people:

I first took advice from The Poser when I was faking my way through junior high school. I wanted to fit in. I was afraid of being left out. The Poser helped me appear better than I was (or worse if worse was better). He helped me conceal the truth front people I thought might judge me as harshly as I judged me. I kept taking his advice because, mostly, it worked.

The Poser is the man of a thousand faces. He taught me how to construct a mask for any occasion from whatever I found lying around. With my musical friends I was all about whatever music they liked. For my jock friends I was brooding and barely verbal. When I got with smart kids I bluffed my way through by recalling trivia and making up stuff (wait a minute...! still do that!). With The Posers help, I managed to hold my own into high school, but it was hard, exhausting work. I went to church (spiritual face), I hung out with friends (wise guy face), I went out a little (sincere face). So many disguises, so little real fun, playing all those roles without knowing who I was. Or if I was anyone at all.

I was on an impossible quest, searching for my identity in the eyes of other people.

Does Jim's journey into manhood sound familiar? It took him (and lots of young men) a while to figure out why he was such a social chameleon. Being The Poser was so natural he didn't even know he was posing! Although a Christian, his actions were dependent upon whatever crowd was around him, because The Poser created a new identity or "mask" for every situation. The problem with these multiple identities is that Jim could not develop any of them fully since he had to change costumes so often.

One of his identities was his "God Mask," but because of the competition for peoples acceptance-versus Gods-his identity in Christ was weak and useless. The same thing goes for us. When we lack a strong identity and don't know who we are, our ability to be loyal to anything or anyone is severely hampered.

Let me tell you about Brandon. At fourteen years of age he heard the message of God's love for him at a church camp. For the first time everything made sense to him. Brandon responded by heeding the speakers call to come forward and give his life to Jesus Christ. His decision stuck until he was confronted with the party scene in high school. Girls in their tube tops, raging hormones, pressure from buddies, and an invitation from Amanda to "go to the lake" caused Brandon to experience what I call "identity drift." Inside he was battling to keep his faith locked in a compartment away from his new-and very exciting-social life. Everything that reminded him of his commitment to Christ, including connections to Christian friends, faded into the background.

When we lack a strong Identity and don't know who we are, our ability to be loyal to anything or anyone is severely hampered. At a party Brandon listened to Amanda ripping those "born against she saw having Bible study at Starbucks. "Praise the Lord and hallelujah!" she mocked, and her passionate performance got a good laugh.

Brandon felt he should say something, so he uttered one of those "Yeah, ain't that the truth" comments, which effectively denied his identity as a Christian. He didn't feel good about it, so Brandon faked an excuse about having to go to the bathroom. He took that opportunity to step outside and look up at the full moon staring down at him. To Brandon it felt like God was staring him right in the face. Then a picture came into his mind, and it hit him like a ton of bricks: the campfire, the smell of smoke, the speaker, the warmth of God's love, and that full moon!

Brandon's true inner loyalty had been unmasked, and God had just called it on the carpet. Then another picture flooded his head-the cross at the campfire and Brandon nailing a note to it with a hammer and nail. The note contained the frivolous yet personal sins of a fourteen-year-old as well as his commitment to follow Christ his whole life. Seeing the moon that evening was as if God was saying, "Remember who you are."

Fearless Loyalty

So many men, young and old, are caught between competing identities that divide their loyalty, just like Brandon. Maybe you've worn a mask or rationalized your faith away when it's been uncomfortable. If your inner loyalty and commitment to Christ are divided, how can you expect to overcome the fear of what other people think about your being a Christian? Moving into the Man Zone means having a radical inner loyalty to a person, not an abstract belief. It's having a clear and personal picture of Jesus Christ's passion for you on the cross and then letting your heart match His with love and loyalty. When you arrive at this kind of commitment, you will become more confident about bringing your faith into the open. Getting to that place will mean making a choice between Christ and everyone else.

To end boyish excuses, develop godly loyalty, and move into a solid identity requires manly honesty before God and people. So, I must take this moment and ask you a serious question about how you are going to live out your life. Ready?