And here I am again. I thought I had made such good progress in getting over you but I was wrong.
My train of thoughts is like a roller coaster. I can't really figure out what is wrong or what is it that I want.
Do I want closure?
Do I want an apology?
Do I want an explanation?
Do I want you to feel the way I did?
I don't really know. I feel as if I was betrayed and there is this anger and hate in my heart that seems to be poking at me every day. I feel anger for how you treated me. I feel angry that I gave you so much but you never realized it. I feel angry that I hate you but I love you even more. I hate that I can't get you off my mind. I hate that I still fantasize about us being together. I hate that I think of you every day. I hate that I want you to never appear in my life but I want to be with you forever. I am just so confused.
I think what truly bothers me and to this day is nagging at me is the fact that you were the one. I think I know that now. But sadly our past will never go away and I am afraid we will never be able to have another chance. We will never have a clean start. I think to myself that maybe if we meet after a few years we can start again but how can I do that when I still haven't completely forgiven you. When I still am not over you. When I still long for you.
Maybe I didn't show it well enough but I wish you could see that I have never loved someone as I have loved you. And I would have wanted nothing more than to be with you but I don't even know that if it is possible. I don't know if I will ever be able to trust you. I don't doubt that you loved me but I do doubt that I was the only one that you loved.
I just want to be over you. It is funny I say that because the only one stopping me from moving on is myself.
I am very confused, lost and hurt.
Before you I knew myself, I had confidence in myself. But now I am weak, I have doubts. And I can't put all the blame on you but I will put some of it on you
It's sad. I love you and want you badly but I know I can't have you because it is simply not good for me. Heroin would be a good comparison (not that I do heroin lol). The feelings you give me are just like floating in air but the comedown just sucks!
Post here instead of contacting your ex!
in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Posted
And here I am again. I thought I had made such good progress in getting over you but I was wrong.
My train of thoughts is like a roller coaster. I can't really figure out what is wrong or what is it that I want.
Do I want closure?
Do I want an apology?
Do I want an explanation?
Do I want you to feel the way I did?
I don't really know. I feel as if I was betrayed and there is this anger and hate in my heart that seems to be poking at me every day. I feel anger for how you treated me. I feel angry that I gave you so much but you never realized it. I feel angry that I hate you but I love you even more. I hate that I can't get you off my mind. I hate that I still fantasize about us being together. I hate that I think of you every day. I hate that I want you to never appear in my life but I want to be with you forever. I am just so confused.
I think what truly bothers me and to this day is nagging at me is the fact that you were the one. I think I know that now. But sadly our past will never go away and I am afraid we will never be able to have another chance. We will never have a clean start. I think to myself that maybe if we meet after a few years we can start again but how can I do that when I still haven't completely forgiven you. When I still am not over you. When I still long for you.
Maybe I didn't show it well enough but I wish you could see that I have never loved someone as I have loved you. And I would have wanted nothing more than to be with you but I don't even know that if it is possible. I don't know if I will ever be able to trust you. I don't doubt that you loved me but I do doubt that I was the only one that you loved.
I just want to be over you. It is funny I say that because the only one stopping me from moving on is myself.
I am very confused, lost and hurt.
Before you I knew myself, I had confidence in myself. But now I am weak, I have doubts. And I can't put all the blame on you but I will put some of it on you
It's sad. I love you and want you badly but I know I can't have you because it is simply not good for me. Heroin would be a good comparison (not that I do heroin lol). The feelings you give me are just like floating in air but the comedown just sucks!
Anyways I really hope I feel better. hehe