LostSoulTrain

Day 30

Last night was tough. I was alone for two days for the first time since break up and I missed her like crazy. Yet, I did not break NC. 30 days challenge is over but I dont think I am over her.

Day 29

Its been almost a month since we saw each other and talked. I know that everything was wrong and that I did all I could to keep us together but I miss her. It is almost as if my inner 30-day challenge is just beginning.

Day 28

I woke up again having her as first thought. But like someone said here, I think it is over for good and I will not hear from her ever.

Day 27

Nearly there. There are moments when I feel like its day 1 but there are those when it seems that this is over for good.

Day 26

I dont think about her that much although there is this void in my chest as if someone is missing.

Day 25

Woke up with pain in stomach. As much as I try not to think of her it is getting worse. When will this pain go away?

Day 23

Yesterday was good day on professional side. Yet, I miss her more and more. It is as if I am regressing as day go by

Day 22

Still no sign of life on her side. At first, I thought that she will come to her senses and contact me. Then I thought that I said too much in our last conversation. Now, I am starting to think that it is really over this time and I mean over for good.

Day 21

Last time when we were broken up it did not hurt as much as it is now. Three weeks have passed. No sign from her. As days go by it just hurts more and more.

Day 20

Been busy all day and did not think of her a lot. Still, there is a void in my chest. As much as I tried I still miss her.

Day 19

I woke up again thinking of her. Just, this time is different. I feel sad but it is almost as if I am saying to myself 'it didn't work out, time to move on'

Day 18

Tried to keep myself busy whole day. Did not think much of her.

Day 17

Woke up again thinking of her. As days go by I feel as if I am regressing. I miss her more and more.

Day 16

Thinking of her less than previous days. Guess I survived first storm. I read somewhere that people reach peak of loneliness after 3-4 weeks. Last time she did contact me just about 4 weeks since we broke up. I wonder if she will try to reach to me this time?

Day 15

I made it half way. I still think about her a lot and miss her. No sign of her. Guess it is really over.

Day 14

It is getting harder every day. Last night I had a dream of her. Today I miss her even more. When does this pain eventually go away?

Day 13

Last night was tough. I could not stop thinking of her. It seems those first days when I felt relieved that it was over were just initial phase. Now all feelings are coming back. The funny thing is that I am angry and sad at the same time. I also wonder if she thinks of me at all or is she just enjoying her new/old life. I still cannot believe that she had given up on us just like that. It hurts even more as I cant talk to anyone about it.

Day 12

I feel as if I am slowly moving on. Today I woke up and did not think of her as much as I did over past few days. Still no word from her and I have no desire to contact her. Guess she is happy with him as otherwise she would contact me long time ago.

Day 11

Woke up again thinking about her. As days go by without contact the feeling that this is definite end and that she turned her back on us is becoming stronger and stronger. And it hurts.

Day 10

I woke up with thoughts of her again. Every day I am feeling less angry and more missing her. Yet, I have no urge to contact.

Day 9

We did not even wish Happy NY to each other. I think of her less than on previous days. Still, a part of me hopes that this is only a bad dream and that all we've been through was not waste of time. I somehow cannot believe that we will not end up being together.

Day 8

I woke up again thinking of her. The anger inside of me is diminishing. I am now sad that she did not want to fight for us. Thoughts going back to last year. So much energy I invested in this relationship and for what? It turns out that it was practically for nothing.

Day 7

The longest we've been without contact in last four months. I woke up again thinking of her. Think I am starting to miss her. Wonder if she thinks of me at all?

Day 6

For past five days I felt great. It was as if enormous burden fell of my chest. Today I woke up missing her terribly. I know that I cannot call her and that she needs to make contact if we are to be together again. Even if I'd call her I would not know what to say.

I know things were toxic and I had to leave. Still, I cant help wondering whether it was right thing to burn all bridges by telling her it is final goodbye and that I will block her.

I went to many relationship forums trying to find some answers but got only few responses. If only there is someone I could talk to and get this pressure out of me.

Day 5

I hardly think about her today. Guess it is really over this time as she did not even try to reach out.