Shane Falco

Maybe that's right and he doesn't want to give up the sex like you said. But that's not what we want to focus on. We want to go to the movies, cook together, just do normal stuff. Do you think he said he'll do that just to get some sex? I am of course totally afraid of what will happen but after so many months he admitted he can't do it without me and that he wants to try.

 

I didn't plan on doing anything at all. I want him to come to me and ask me if I want to go to the movies or whatever.

But I feel like I have to try otherwise I'll always ask myself what if.. Can you understand that?

 

 

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A movie and a "cooking" date are small prices to pay for sex. I would do that every day of the week, especially in a situation like he has, when he pretty much has you under his control. So yes, I believe that he would absolutely do stuff like that in order to get sex. And no, you should not be the one initiating and asking him out. It's up to him to prove to you that he's serious, and it's up to you to make him prove that. And by having sex with him right away, you aren't doing that at all. You are an easy mark again and there's absolutely no reason for him to go the extra mile with you because he doesn't have to. I realize why you feel you have to do this, but by giving into that feeling so easily, you are sabotaging yourself from both a) getting him back in a romantic relationship and b) moving on.

The whole "going with your feelings" thing isn't smart. You need to integrate your brain and your heart to make the best possible decisions in your life. Hearts mean well, but often are very very dumb. But overthinking (using too much brain) can be bad as well. Either way, you are making this way too easy for him and you are putting yourself in another bad situation. Make him prove to you he means business and stop having sex with him so easily.

@shane falco yeah maybe you're right and maybe not. The last few weeks were different as it is now, that's what I'm feeling.

First time after months he said he wants to try again. And I believe him. I know him and I know that he can't give up on me that's why he wants to try it again too.

 

And if you're right and this doesn't bring us anywhere then so be it. But at least I got another chance to try and will always be able to say we tried everything.

 

I just hope that it works how I want it to be!

 

Thanks for your reply!

 

 

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He doesn't want to give up the sex. And unfortunately, you gave him the sex right away. I've seen this type of situation many times. Hell, I've done it to women in my younger, more jerky days. I hope I'm wrong, but I see this as a wash/rinse/repeat cycle.

Yeah, I think you are setting yourself up to be used as a friends with benefits again. Sorry, I don't see this going your way. Not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but you're doing the exact same thing you were doing before and expecting a completely different result.