Snowgrrl83

lmao!! love it...start one....I think thats more of a challenge than actually not talking to him!!!everytime i am with friends i promise myself i wont bring him up...never fails...at one point or another im talking about him/us again. If im tired of it, i can only imagine how they feel!! and this is three months later!!!

On top of hat, we have friends in common, so I wouldn't want them to tell him that I've been talking badly about him or that I've even been asking about him!! So, I need to shurt my big mouth

Stay strong Azilynn and remember, it does get easier with time! Take it from me, everytime I had contact with me ex, it just set me back from healing. Everytime I got in contact with him (whether I was the initiator, or he was), this was the case. It just hurts to contact him at the moment. NC is definitly key.

I need another challenge on top of not contacting my ex. I need to stop talking to my friends, my family and his friends about him. - Poor them! They've had to listen to me whine, cry and complain for nearly a month! I guess this should be part of NC. I'm taking this one step at a time.

If hes not crawling hard core you do nothing ! Simple enough...but can you do it ? i dont think so.

You're wrapped around his litle finger and he knows it.

You're right. Thanks for the reverse psychology. I guess thats why they call it the no contact CHALLENGE. It wouldn't be a CHALLENGE if it was easy, right?

I sort of want to tell him that I dont want to talk to him right now because I need to think for a while. Should I text him and tell him this?? Or should I wait to get a call again to tell him this? Or should I not say anything at all?

Well, I still haven't replied. I need to stay strong, and stay NC. NC is really making me feel proud of myself for not giving in. I think he needs to miss me a bit more.

Its 11:30 PM and I went downstairs to make a soup and eat it. I checked my facebook account while eating my soup and I was away from my cell phone. Good thing because I don't have caller ID and I saw that I missed a call. I also had 3 txt messages. they said:

"How are you doing?"

"How did your weekend go? I c u enjoyed the spa."

"I'm sorry again for being a jerk to u"

I haven't replied.... yet... maybe I simply won't.

He misses me and I know it. I still want to call him and see if he's ok. Must resist the urge. I need to start therapy soon.... I have my first appointment on Weds.

I've been drinking orange juice and water for a week and very little food for a month as this relationship was closing down. I'm slowly trying solids again but they seem to always make my stomach hurt.

FoundYet? -- Eat some soup and have a few crackers every day... slowly work your way up again. I'm still not eating normally either. I lost weight, but I'm slowly eating a bit more every day.

I wish I could call him and tell him that I miss him too. I also want to tell him that I can't just go back to him because he didn't treat me well... and I simply can't trust him. That would take a lot to build it up again.

So, yesterday, I ran into my ex at the club at the ski resort.

I politely said hello to him, gave him a quick hug, and introduced him to my friend. Then, I quickly said, "We have to go find our friend" and we ran off. We still couldnt find our friend so we went dancing away from him on the dance floor minding our own business and having fun. So he shows up in front of me and he says "well, me and the guys are leaving soon, and i just wanted to see how you were doing" I said I was doing great that I had gone shopping with a friend today and that I was going to the spa tomorrow. then he asked again how I was feeling.... I said that it was "refreshing". Then he just said that he missed me and hugged me for about 30 seconds. My face stayed straight and I was rubbing his back while he was hugging me and I simply didn't know what to say from that point. I just said goodbye and that was it.

Too bad for him.

So is this day 1 or day 4. I sort of avoided him and he really evidently confronted me.

I agree. I gave my ex enough chances too.

anon- i wouldnt consider it contact. Just dont reply to her thank you.

My plan for the resort... since I'm likely to run into him!

Rules for myself:

- Do not mention anything about him going to see his ex... or anything about his ex even existing.

- Do not invite him anywhere...

- If I run into him, simply be friendly, say hello, and go mind my own business and meet up with the girls or have friendly conversations with guys...all while smiling

Here I am again, lying in my bed awake before my alarm goes off at 6:30 AM. I just want to yell at him for all the terrible things he did to me. I'm getting definit anxiety as I'm sure I'll run into him at the local resort this weekend.

I need to really force myself to maintain NC.

He replied *sigh*

Heres what it said

"Thanks for looking out for me... You are so sweet..."

NC!

I sent him an email. Doh! Here is what it said:

"Don't be like a beaten woman that keeps on going back for more.

Find a psychologist. Here is one that I've used:

Name of psychologist

Number

He specializes in relationships and has an office near your house.

Take care,

Snowgrrl 83"

Second try at NC. I miss him this morning. I wish he was here in bed with me to cuddle and I wish I was going to the resort this weekend with him.

Although I know I'm better off without him.

So I broke NC. But I think that I totally brain-ninja-ed my ex and it was GREAT!

So I called him and told him that I was just calling to "close the book" and I kept my cool the entire time. So I told him that it was definitly over because I just still think he's a jerk and I can't trust him. Then I told him nicely, and told him to take it seriously, that he needs to go see a psychologist because his ex really messed him up. I told him that he was like a beaten woman that keeps on wanting to go back (with his ex...who was psychologically abusing him). He actually agreed and thanked me for suggesting that.

I wonder if he's actually going to do that.

Otherwise I started a conversation on snowboarding and we chit chatted about that. I told him about my plans to go to Whistler and that I was going to judge a few snowboard contests and then we chatted about the local snowboard park and the progress.

Then, I told him that I was quite disapointed that he was going to party at the local resort at the same time as me and my girlfriends this weekend... I guess he felt bad and akward at this point. Then I told him its ok, because I guess we cant avoid seeing each other since we're into the same types of things.

He kept on babbling on about some snowboarding stuff and I told him that I had to let him go. His voice became really raspy and sad-ish while I sounded upbeat. It felt really, really, good. It felt like I had the "upper hand". I start NC over.

Its officially been a week since we spoke. I still want to pick up the phone, dial his number and yell at him.

bitebenot-- i tried that. snowboarding and wakeboarding are a BIG part of my life. I dated guys that weren't into it and it never worked out. I got bored in the relationship or simply never saw them. As for money, it can be a big factor too in a relationship. Money doesnt bring happiness, but it sure relieves stress in a relationship.

I'm not stubborn, I'm picky and he's one of the only guys I've ever met that I think I can truly be compatible with - if he can ever get his (and my) head issues sorted out.

Otherwise, please find me a nice guy in my area that makes a 6 figure salary, that is within my age bracket, and that has snowboarding and wakeboarding as a major part of his life. Also, he'll probably need to be single. Good luck.

I'm still upset he hasen't tried to contact me.

He's a jerk. He messed with my head, big time. I'm never going back. When he sees me this weekend I will ignore him. If he confronts me. I will tell him to move on and get some help. He's pathetic, like a beaten woman that keeps on going back for more to his other ex that abused him.

I'm going to go through therapy. I called my employee assistance program and they signed me up with a psychologist. Hope it helps. I think it will help with all the psychological abuse I went through. I hope it will help me forget my horrible ex and what he did to me, also, I hope it will help me say "no" when/if he ever does come back... because there is still a part of me that wants him back no matter how terrible he was to me.